Profile for DOZERTRON!:
I live here and I read stuff on this site.
I love sneakers, various musics and Fiona Bruce.
That is all.
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Best answers to questions:
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- a member for 5 years, 5 months and 21 days
- has posted 3 messages on the main board
- has posted 422 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 450 stories and 18589 replies on question of the week
- They liked 64 pictures, 3 links, 12 talk posts, and 713 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
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I live here and I read stuff on this site.
I love sneakers, various musics and Fiona Bruce.
That is all.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Driven to Madness
LIST TIME!!!!!
Misuse of reflexive pronouns
Misuse of apostrophes
People who call all electronic music 'techno'
People that call hip hop 'rap'
Those fucking sofa adverts where instead of saying 'now only five hundred and ninety-nine pounds' they say 'now only five nine nine'
Homophobes
Other commuters
Whisky bores
Gingers
Metallers
Hip hop heads
Wearing scarves indoors
Wearing scarves indoors while wearing a t shirt. If you're that cold, put a fucking coat on you flid.
When faces are superimposed on apples
Tourists
Lager top
Lager louts
Little and Large
Grown ups reading kids books
Grown ups reading books aimed at teenagers. You fucking nonces.
'Comedy' accounts on B3ta
People who don't understand the word 'troll' and are in fact trolls themselves OH THE IRONING!
People who deliberately use 'teh' on the internet as an affectation
People who can't use the correct form of 'its'
People who stand on the left hand side of escalators
Pendulum
Amorous Fucking Badger
Referring to Rob Manuel as 'the ginger fuhrer'
Rob Manuel
Anyone that likes mass market, lowest common denominator cultural output and derides those who like more serious output as 'pretentious'
The fact that I'm an autistic virgin
Wankers
Tossers
Shits
Shites
The Irish
Monty fucking Boyce and his fucking gang of acolytes over on Off Topic. The prick.
Anyone who's ever posted on /talk
Iain Duncan Smith
Christopher shitting Biggins. The cunt.
B3ta user 'number5'
Battered off of Off Topic. He's a prick who sexually assaulted me in a McDonalds. 'McFlurry' my fucking arsepipe.
People that use the term 'ninja edit'
Wankers that edit their posts after the fact.
Larpers. The autistic dicks.
Sci fi fans. The smegging titfaces.
QOTW.
White wine.
Windy Pig. Yeah, and Two Hats as well. Couple of bent flids. And I mean 'couple'.
(Thu 4th Oct 2012, 19:15, More)
LIST TIME!!!!!
Misuse of reflexive pronouns
Misuse of apostrophes
People who call all electronic music 'techno'
People that call hip hop 'rap'
Those fucking sofa adverts where instead of saying 'now only five hundred and ninety-nine pounds' they say 'now only five nine nine'
Homophobes
Other commuters
Whisky bores
Gingers
Metallers
Hip hop heads
Wearing scarves indoors
Wearing scarves indoors while wearing a t shirt. If you're that cold, put a fucking coat on you flid.
When faces are superimposed on apples
Tourists
Lager top
Lager louts
Little and Large
Grown ups reading kids books
Grown ups reading books aimed at teenagers. You fucking nonces.
'Comedy' accounts on B3ta
People who don't understand the word 'troll' and are in fact trolls themselves OH THE IRONING!
People who deliberately use 'teh' on the internet as an affectation
People who can't use the correct form of 'its'
People who stand on the left hand side of escalators
Pendulum
Amorous Fucking Badger
Referring to Rob Manuel as 'the ginger fuhrer'
Rob Manuel
Anyone that likes mass market, lowest common denominator cultural output and derides those who like more serious output as 'pretentious'
The fact that I'm an autistic virgin
Wankers
Tossers
Shits
Shites
The Irish
Monty fucking Boyce and his fucking gang of acolytes over on Off Topic. The prick.
Anyone who's ever posted on /talk
Iain Duncan Smith
Christopher shitting Biggins. The cunt.
B3ta user 'number5'
Battered off of Off Topic. He's a prick who sexually assaulted me in a McDonalds. 'McFlurry' my fucking arsepipe.
People that use the term 'ninja edit'
Wankers that edit their posts after the fact.
Larpers. The autistic dicks.
Sci fi fans. The smegging titfaces.
QOTW.
White wine.
Windy Pig. Yeah, and Two Hats as well. Couple of bent flids. And I mean 'couple'.
(Thu 4th Oct 2012, 19:15, More)
» Overcoming adversity
I once found myself involved in a depraved scene-
I was stark bollock naked and strainingly erect, while a gathering of boys from the earliest of teens through to their very early twenties were nude, oiled and performing ever more erotic breakdancing moves in a sinuous and delicious manner. As they spun and danced past me, hips twisting and pricks swinging to the sound of Strong Island, I took myself in hand and started to stroke my tumescent member to the rhythm of the sensuous homoerotic urban ballet playing out before me.
As my grip tightened and my balls followed suit, I felt the gaze of a dozen eyes fixating on my masturbation. I felt my orgasm rise, slowly and then rapidly as I threw my head back and came in great juddering jets of pearlescent liquid. My glittering ejaculate covered the troupe, and some tongues flicked out to catch the salty gobbets before the spell broke and the moment ended.
'Oh fuck', I gasped, still gripped in the blissful afterglow of a powerful orgasm.
It was then that the reality of the situation hit me- I had come over Diversity.
(Thu 13th Dec 2012, 19:03, More)
I once found myself involved in a depraved scene-
I was stark bollock naked and strainingly erect, while a gathering of boys from the earliest of teens through to their very early twenties were nude, oiled and performing ever more erotic breakdancing moves in a sinuous and delicious manner. As they spun and danced past me, hips twisting and pricks swinging to the sound of Strong Island, I took myself in hand and started to stroke my tumescent member to the rhythm of the sensuous homoerotic urban ballet playing out before me.
As my grip tightened and my balls followed suit, I felt the gaze of a dozen eyes fixating on my masturbation. I felt my orgasm rise, slowly and then rapidly as I threw my head back and came in great juddering jets of pearlescent liquid. My glittering ejaculate covered the troupe, and some tongues flicked out to catch the salty gobbets before the spell broke and the moment ended.
'Oh fuck', I gasped, still gripped in the blissful afterglow of a powerful orgasm.
It was then that the reality of the situation hit me- I had come over Diversity.
(Thu 13th Dec 2012, 19:03, More)
» Racist grandparents
It is with a heavy heart that I get this one out of the way now...
The Nazis treated my grandfather terribly during World War Two.
Passed him over for promotion, time and time again.
(Thu 27th Oct 2011, 22:16, More)
It is with a heavy heart that I get this one out of the way now...
The Nazis treated my grandfather terribly during World War Two.
Passed him over for promotion, time and time again.
(Thu 27th Oct 2011, 22:16, More)
» Brain Fade
It was 1998. I was 18.
I was extremely stoned, and waiting for my bus. I was paranoid; every pedestrian walking past could see my red eyes, white face and idiotic grin. They could smell the low grade hashish I was carrying, and they were laughing about it. Yeah, and the people driving past? They were on their way to the police station to report me.
My bus pulled up, I got on board. I asked the driver for a return to Aberdeen.
'Are you a fool?' he asked me.
I was stunned. He knew. He was going to either harangue me about the stultifying effects of cannabis resin, or he was going to somehow contact the police.
'What?' I stammered.
'Are you a fool?' he repeated. Was I on the wrong bus? I was! I must be! Why else would this man be asking me if I was a fool? I was a fool! It was the wrong bus! It wasn't though, I saw the number. It's the right one, so what's he getting at?
'What?' I asked again. I was adrift on a floating island of confusion.
'Are you a full fare, or a half fare?' he barked out.
'Adult fare!' I replied, then realised that I had just answered the question he hadn't asked, and I was in fact, a very stoned fool.
(Mon 25th Mar 2013, 0:05, More)
It was 1998. I was 18.
I was extremely stoned, and waiting for my bus. I was paranoid; every pedestrian walking past could see my red eyes, white face and idiotic grin. They could smell the low grade hashish I was carrying, and they were laughing about it. Yeah, and the people driving past? They were on their way to the police station to report me.
My bus pulled up, I got on board. I asked the driver for a return to Aberdeen.
'Are you a fool?' he asked me.
I was stunned. He knew. He was going to either harangue me about the stultifying effects of cannabis resin, or he was going to somehow contact the police.
'What?' I stammered.
'Are you a fool?' he repeated. Was I on the wrong bus? I was! I must be! Why else would this man be asking me if I was a fool? I was a fool! It was the wrong bus! It wasn't though, I saw the number. It's the right one, so what's he getting at?
'What?' I asked again. I was adrift on a floating island of confusion.
'Are you a full fare, or a half fare?' he barked out.
'Adult fare!' I replied, then realised that I had just answered the question he hadn't asked, and I was in fact, a very stoned fool.
(Mon 25th Mar 2013, 0:05, More)