» God

Silly Nuns
When Helo was a young Helo, R.E was never on his high points of life.

Why go to church for midnight mass when you could count down the seconds till you could actually open the presents up?

WHY are we getting up at 7am each Sunday when it's the only day of the week when I don't have to school/work (paper round?)

So when I reached 15 (or so) everyone else in my school was getting confirmed, not me. AFter 15 odd years of being dragged to Church I had found the one thing that ensured I would never step in that church ever again.

Went to Sunday Mass at 8.15am, nun who'd known me since I was a wee little thing, asked me when my confirmation was going to be and I told her that I doubt very, very much I'd be confirmed as I don't believe in God at this point of my life.

Dear Spirit in the Sky/Gods Above/Demons below the LOOK this Nun gave me. It was the sort of look that you give to your husband after he confesses that your daughter didn't run away, and that in fact he'd been keeping her locked under the stairs for the last 30 odd years and needed your help to hide the evidence.

From this look the immortal words spoken in front of my parents "Well, I guess YOU'RE NOT WELCOME IN THIS CHURCH ANYMORE YOU SILLY LITTLE BOY" meant that no longer would I have to attend anymore masses, anymore Christmas Eve boring fests.

I was free!!!

Heh, looking back though I probably should have told her I was a homo also, see if it'd given her a heart attack also.

(Parents and siblings weren't happy though, parents gave me hell for 6 months because I was insistant that I don't want to get confirmed. AS a result of this my sisters were forced at gun point to get confirmed and attend church. Ooo, those were fun times)
(Thu 19th Mar 2009, 15:31, More)

» Spoilt Brats

Youth work & spoiled kids
You would have thought that working with kids who need a youth worker have had a bad upbringing and the like right?

Complete opposite in some of the cases I have seen. The family is poor, literally dirt poor. Can't eat or pay rent but they have plenty of cash for "Smirnoff" or "Chadony" (real names) to go out and get hammered for their 12th birthday.

Or enough money to buy two wet teabags (a dress kinda thing)or even enough money to smoke till the weekend is over.

One of the best situations, or worst, is when we had this little shit come in and give it the "you can't touch me, you're teachers you've got to do as I say as my dad pays your bills".

Cue myself and the other duty worker looking at each other with looks of viciousness.

We very politely, firmly and loudly told him that:

A. We're an indepedent youth group and since his dad doesn't go to church he doesn't pay us anything.
B. We are NOT teachers and we are allowed to pick disruptive young people up and throw them out (on their faces may I add) if they misbehave.
C. If he wants to talk to us like we're dirt then he will be treated as dirt himself, as in no service, no Wii and no support from the workers.
finally D. If he didn't stop misbehaving and throwing his food/drink/console around then we would turn a blind eye to the kids playing the wii and as it was put previously in this thread:

"See how he likes picking up his broken teeth with broken fingers".

It wasn't exactly 100% professional but you can be sure that not a single prima donna that evening gave us trouble.

**EDIT** I am actually normally a very calm person and wouldn't even consider saying this to one of our regulars, but there are limits to misbehaviour and if the parents and teachers are unwilling to disclipline the children, they shouldn't stop those who have to work with them from disclipling them.
(Fri 10th Oct 2008, 13:28, More)

» Faking it

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah almost there!
Oh I fake it all the time if it's not gonna happen in bed.

You do the foreplay, you are required to ensure they're ready for penetration.

You get the condom on, and there's a whole NFSW'ing different post there. 'Oh no, off course I don't mind wearing a condom! It's not as if I wanted to **feel** anything while shaggin you anyway.'

You get the bitty bit off plastic on, get back too full mast with some more foreplay.

Then realise that for the last 30 minutes you've been warming up for the big event and now? Now, you're bloody bored of this farce and want to go play Warcraft or something else not so time consuming or emotionally draining having to reassure your;

- Partner
- Random person occupying your bed
- Regular person occupying your bed
- Assorted persons in your bed

'Yes dear, you are good. The world is shaking for me.'

So you fake it, just get rid off the condom before they notice it's pretty empty, pretend to be "ohsoOMGSENSITIVE" afterwards and go watch some TV or something.

Sex, why do we do it again if it's so much trouble to get it, once you have got it then it's more trouble and finally when you have it you get bored?

Sometimes all you wanna do is just have a hard fuck and walk away >_<
(Fri 11th Jul 2008, 0:49, More)

» Pet Peeves

Rantrantrant
Things that really peeve me off?

1. On the Tube, you see those Tourists who stand on the wrong side of the esculator, stand at the top of the line AND JUST FREAKING STAND THERE.

Let's not worry about the untold thousands of people standing behind you with places to go, pehaps even late. Just. Fucking. Stand there. Don't even CONSIDER moving out off the way, we can all wait. All several thousand off us.

2. Urban music, is it just me or does it seem like we're listening to some people who've just never had too grow up. You've got some guy who can't "sing" (more like talk) in anything more than a monotone, some jumped up tarts with breast implants telling me all about how they're gonna shag this, shank that, murder this blah blah blah

Go grow up!

3. Footballers, you get paid more than most people will in their entire life in a few weeks, and yet you still. moan. like. fucking. pansys.

Stop acting like big girls and just play the damn game, if I could get paid several million a year for acting like twelve year olds then god damnit, I would so be up for that.

4. Compensation culture, oh my GODS. I am made so annoyed by this pathetic crap nowadays.

You fall over, it's not you fault, it's someone elses for making you fall over.

You carry a cup off coffee between your legs and it spills, OH NOES, it's HOT! It's not you fault that you miscarried the coffee, it's the companys fault that the coffee was hot >_<

I am completely in agreement with the phrase

"I don't believe in culling humanity, but I do believe we should remove all safety labels and let nature take it's due"
(Tue 6th May 2008, 11:20, More)

» Hypocrisy

Jade "Haters"
Oh, i've seen a lot of this lately and it's driving me more than a little crazy.

I understand that there are two factions in the Jadecancer camp. One that thinks she's still the same old pig just bald now, and one that thinks the cancer gives her dignity and she should be respected.

This rant is to the former, not the latter. Those who still claim that she is no better than she was on whatever Big Brother she spawned from.

Yes, to those people who say "Oh, I hate her she's not done anything and the cancer doesn't change anything", to those who say "My mum/dad/brother/sister/left leg/alien friend Alf had cancer and that doesn't make THEM a sain does it" I just want to say can be please stop being so fucking hypocritical in your views.

If you stay that you have no interest in this story, if you say that it is not worth watching this poor women die (I don't like her but feel empathy for anyone dying of a horrible/uncurable disease) a slow and lingering death, then

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON READING EVERYTHING ABOUT THE DAMN WOMEN TO THE EXTENT THAT YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT HER PERSONAL LIFE THAN SOME PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO THINK SHE'S THE NEW SECOND COMING.

Seriously, stop being so damn hypocritical and stick your nose out of her business. If you don't approve, FINE, then stop butting your nose in those who do give a damn.

Put up or shut up sweety darling, just stop playing a double standard.
(Tue 24th Feb 2009, 22:36, More)