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» I'm going to Hell...

Electric wheelchairs
When we were about 15-16 one of the first year kids at school had Spina Bifida. He was in a pretty bad way and had an electric wheelchair to be able to get around school. The switch to it was on the back. What else were we to do? He couldn't get out of his chair to switch it back on...

Once he was stuck in the Science corridor for about half an hour before someone found him.

Yes, I feel bad.
(Sat 13th Dec 2008, 20:03, More)

» What's the hardest you've tried to get dumped?

Truck
In hindsight this was very childish. I drew a picture of a dumper truck with a speech bubble saying "dumper dumper dumper" and put it in her bag. She didn't get the message and came to see me the next day at home which led me to have to break the news the conventional way.
(Thu 5th Jun 2008, 17:16, More)

» Workplace Boredom

Opticians
I used to work at a very reputable high street Opticians part time as a student.

This isn't a comical or outrageous story.

Put simply, we were (are still) told to sell thinner more expensive lenses to anyone and everyone despite whether they are needed or not as a way of bumping up the figures.

As a bit of advice to glasses wearing B3tians, if your prescription isn't higher than -2.00 (or +1.50 if you are long sighted) you don't need thinner lenses. Tell the thief sitting opposite you you're not a walking piggy bank.

Do however always have the Anti-reflection coating. It makes them look better.

Sorry for being boring, just thought I'd save someone a few quid.

Ta.
(Fri 9th Jan 2009, 19:28, More)

» Top Tips

Children
Having trouble entertaining the kids? Simply put a few toenail clippings into a matchbox, seal with sticky back plastic - HEY PRESTO a rattle!
(Thu 5th Jun 2008, 17:05, More)

» Top Tips

Annoying uni house mates?
Simply leave a bag of Chicken breasts at the back of the fridge obscured by bottles of half opened Lucozade. After 3 weeks it disolves into a putrid green transparent liquid which can only be removed from the whole house by getting rid of the fridge.

N.b. This only works well if you are going away for a long time and won't be there to breath the emetic air produced. You can chortle away happy in the knowledge your housemates are working away like busy little bees trying to find the cause of the stench.

Beware of repercussions however. They can be dire.
(Fri 8th Aug 2008, 12:43, More)
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