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Durex

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(Wed 13th Aug 2003, 13:14, More)

New from Johnson's

w00t. i pop back after a long time away, tatty a baby and get FP'd. Thanks!
(Thu 7th Aug 2003, 0:45, More)



(Wed 27th Nov 2002, 18:53, More)

Awww, isnt he cute

(Wed 27th Nov 2002, 9:31, More)

.

(Fri 25th Oct 2002, 1:58, More)

Dont mess with Mr Tiddles and his brothers.

(Wed 7th Aug 2002, 9:15, More)

Eventually Charlie was quite annoyed with himself for buying a giant dog off that Chinese bloke
But he wasnt going to let it ruin a lovely picnic with his wife

(Fri 2nd Aug 2002, 9:36, More)

Frank was quite pleased with his new extention, and hoped it would last for years to come.

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(Thu 1st Aug 2002, 9:51, More)

Here is my first b3ta book

Its early, i have stomach ache, and im at college, thats why its crap
(Wed 29th May 2002, 8:50, More)

i havnt potato'ed a kitten for a while
so here is one ive just done.

(Wed 29th May 2002, 1:03, More)

Best answers to questions:

» You're a moviestar baby

A nice holiday with the family
Many many years ago.. Quietly playing catch with myself, throwing a tennis ball up in the air when what should appear above my head but a helicopter..
Who jumps out in her nice blue tracksuit thing but Anika Rice (from TV's Treasure Hunt).
She came straight over to me and asked me where some pub was that she had to find.. I started to cry stood there in my Thomas the tank engine cardy that me mom knitted and then ran away to hide behing my dad..
Blank look on her face she asked some old dear instead..

Thought then it was over and i could go back to being myself.. But a few hours later she returned!! 'thanks to everyone that has helped me out today' she says, putting her arm around me.
Queue me running off scared again.. :)

Thought that was bad enough.. Years later my mom comes home only to bring up said event again because someone has see the bloody re-runs on challege tv and recognized us!!

We have a copy of the episode hidden in the cupboard somewhere.. One day i might not be scared of it and can bring myself to watch it :)

Simon
(Thu 11th Nov 2004, 16:37, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Jews
the other day, i was walking in the park and i saw a guy who looked exactly like hitler! so i went up to him and said, "excuse me sir, you probably hear this all the time, but you look like adolf hitler!" and he said to me "that's right, m'dear. i'm back." and i said "why are you back? you already executed 3 million jews and continue to have chapters of followers?" and he said "i've come back to kill six million jews and 2 clowns" so i asked him "why the two clowns?" and he said "SEE! NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE JEWS!"
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 22:00, More)

» Losing Your Virginity


17 - First real girlfriend met at college.
Planned to go to a house party at some randoms house. Party went well with lots of booze and chatting. She passed out... My mate (also a virgin at the time) went off and starting banging his girl on the bathroom floor with the rest of us listening in from downstairs.
My girl evetually awoke and dragged me off saying 'its your time'

We had a bedroom, she pushed everything off the bed in a proper movie style and we got down to it. I was scared (first time and all) she was a slag anyway so she knew what to do.
Went ok though, was going for ages, trying to hard couldnt perform properly. We both ended up giving up.
Following morning we tried again and Wooo. All was good :)

Big grin on my face we went downstairs. Everyone else was already up and had heard it all.. Oops. Especcially me shouting 'YES!'when i realised i was no longer a virgin.

We lasted about 2 months, i really liked her but things didnt work out.
Id still talk to her today, only seen her once since we both left college.

Meh..
(Thu 3rd Mar 2005, 15:20, More)