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» Accidental innuendo
Right 'andful!
Working outside a house in a part of town where the kids are arranged in blocks of 2.4 I was interrupted by two little 'angels' having a bit of a row over whos go it was on the trike. A stressed mum-type caught up with them and gave me a head-shaking 'Bleddy kids' kind of look, to which I replied "You've got your hands full with that pair!"
At this point, she looked at her cleavage, then gave me a stare that could melt air and crossed the road. Just about the same moment, it dawned that they weren't her kids. I then beat a hasty one. Retreat, that is.
(Tue 17th Jun 2008, 15:41, More)
Right 'andful!
Working outside a house in a part of town where the kids are arranged in blocks of 2.4 I was interrupted by two little 'angels' having a bit of a row over whos go it was on the trike. A stressed mum-type caught up with them and gave me a head-shaking 'Bleddy kids' kind of look, to which I replied "You've got your hands full with that pair!"
At this point, she looked at her cleavage, then gave me a stare that could melt air and crossed the road. Just about the same moment, it dawned that they weren't her kids. I then beat a hasty one. Retreat, that is.
(Tue 17th Jun 2008, 15:41, More)
» Unexpected Nudity
Definitely unerotic but ultimately satisfying
Somewhere in the South West of England, late 80s, there is a cliff side littered with chalets, scrubby plants and faintly disturbing residents. My uncle, due to 'unforseen circumstances' ie. his Mrs had black-bagged him, ended up living here for a while. Spending his days drinking, fishing and hanging around with his pals in the sun agreed with him so he got to know the area quite well.
On one such sunny afternoon, he was looking after his two young daughters who were happily playing in the garden while he fished for dinner from the rocks a few hundred yards away, further down the slope. A friend of his who was fishing alongside suddenly grabbed his arm and pointed out a stark bollock naked gentleman steathily making his way through the scrub (no mean feat in his condition), towards said garden.
Dropping his fishing gear, uncle started up the slope. Realising that the naked chap would get to his garden before he could, he decided to match stealth with stealth and use his local knowledge of the cliff paths to ensure that at least he would have a chance of confronting him before he legged it.
Mr Naked approached the garden, his 'excitement' plain for all to see. Before he could utter a word he was interrupted by a raging bull of a man dropping in between him and the girls from the garden above.
Did I mention my uncle had been a boxer in a past life?
You can probably imagine the surprise and horror on the perv's face just before it was swiftly and permanently rearranged. Not sure what happened to him afterwards, but I imagine he might have been subject to a more rapid descent down the cliff path than is considered healthy before anyone called the emergency services.
My cousins, who were unharmed if slightly perplexed and a little more worldly wise than before, apparently spent the afternoon happily bankrupting the tooth fairy to the regular cry of "Daddy, I found another tooth!"
(Fri 29th May 2009, 9:27, More)
Definitely unerotic but ultimately satisfying
Somewhere in the South West of England, late 80s, there is a cliff side littered with chalets, scrubby plants and faintly disturbing residents. My uncle, due to 'unforseen circumstances' ie. his Mrs had black-bagged him, ended up living here for a while. Spending his days drinking, fishing and hanging around with his pals in the sun agreed with him so he got to know the area quite well.
On one such sunny afternoon, he was looking after his two young daughters who were happily playing in the garden while he fished for dinner from the rocks a few hundred yards away, further down the slope. A friend of his who was fishing alongside suddenly grabbed his arm and pointed out a stark bollock naked gentleman steathily making his way through the scrub (no mean feat in his condition), towards said garden.
Dropping his fishing gear, uncle started up the slope. Realising that the naked chap would get to his garden before he could, he decided to match stealth with stealth and use his local knowledge of the cliff paths to ensure that at least he would have a chance of confronting him before he legged it.
Mr Naked approached the garden, his 'excitement' plain for all to see. Before he could utter a word he was interrupted by a raging bull of a man dropping in between him and the girls from the garden above.
Did I mention my uncle had been a boxer in a past life?
You can probably imagine the surprise and horror on the perv's face just before it was swiftly and permanently rearranged. Not sure what happened to him afterwards, but I imagine he might have been subject to a more rapid descent down the cliff path than is considered healthy before anyone called the emergency services.
My cousins, who were unharmed if slightly perplexed and a little more worldly wise than before, apparently spent the afternoon happily bankrupting the tooth fairy to the regular cry of "Daddy, I found another tooth!"
(Fri 29th May 2009, 9:27, More)