» Bizarre habits

I have problems 'relating' to 'people' on an 'emotional' level
It's cost me girlfriends befor. I only do things that are 'utilitarian' She was appalled at my lack of any moral code or compassion for others.

Her: "If you heard a young boy being murdered near your apartment, would you aid him?"
me: "Only if it would benefit me in some way."

We had lots of conversations about morals, and she was disgusted that I was so selfish and cold. She hated the fact that I think a lot of people act "moral" due to guilt, or out of the fear that if they didn't act morally, the undesirable situation might be reciprocated upon them some day. A twisted form of karma.

She also didn't appreciate her greenness or attempt at being green being made fun of and continually mocked by me.

I am thoroughly disgusted by people who act a certain way or change around their S.O. because it is what the other person desires. It's one thing to compromise, but god damn, you might as well go to acting school.

We'd still be together if I lied about my feelings. If I was an actor. Unfortunately I don't believe people should be together if they have to tip-toe around a single issue. Total honesty, or no relationship.

She was angry one day and I said "What most people don't realize is that emotions are a choice we make to fit a situation. You don't have to be angry.

What you have to realize is that there is nothing and nobody that can "make" you feel, act, see, think, etc. a certain way. Its all a choice. When you say "He MADE me angry" , you're giving your self control to that person. If you have any pride and self respect, that's unacceptable.

Its ok to be angry and whatever other emotions you feel. What's important is WHY you feel them and you make sure that its because you choose to feel them and not because you gave control over yourself to something else."


then she left. i felt... nothing.
(Sun 4th Jul 2010, 18:05, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

so i'm rollin with my sk8tr boi's down the park when this middle aged type lady walks up to me( you know the type, powersuit powershoes powerbun) we're listening to MXPX and its late, but what of it
she's all like "TURN DOWN THAT NOISE" but then i power slide all up in her face and be like 'gimme some sunny d bitch' and she knows whats up, i tell her

"you dont fuck with the skate-punks son its like animal houseup in here"

any way i invite her back to my house she agrees and we were listenen to that new FACTION album i while im totally bustin' 360's and telling my mum to fuck off

then we do it

hifives, nay?
(Tue 9th Dec 2008, 18:46, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

heh.
i was fifteen but i looked eighteen, i could get into most off liscences without any hassle. This made me very popular amongst my peers. oh yeas i was the king of the park. breezers for all. more breezers than those pathetic minded fools could handle. the police came, this was inevitable. I was caged, this would have saddened me if i felt emotion like most people seem to (i have trouble empathising with people. sometimes i wonder. i wonder aloud. aspergers? you may mock but i can't feel for you. i hope you understand my rhetoric.)

I was let go with a caution and the news of my exploits spread. suddenly i was cool with the sixth formers (not that i am bothered by your bourgieous notions of 'cool' ("glomp me!" t-shirtsFTW!)) we ended up at a student real university stundets party one saturday night. this was good. i was there with my booze and i saw her. i stealthily approached her at an angle where she couldn't see me. i noticed her drink was low. i comprehended she would need a refill. i moved. into the kitchen. breezers - where were my breezers. i did not panic but moved with assured speed - i had timed it perfectly. as she finished her cranberry and raspberry breezer another slotted into her hadn. "i saw you were low" i said staring into her eyes. she blinked. blinked again. 'sorry, who are you?' our eyes met. she must have been at least 22. a goddess. i explained who i was - but the reptilain part of my brain screamed don't let her know your age! the way she smoked her benson made feel like one day i could experience emotions like 'everyone else'. i made an offhand comment about the otaku blog i make (i am a regular and avid blogger. blogspot. blogger. livejournal. i cross many mediums)she laughed. our hands touched and as the ace of bass pounding throught he flat reaches a crescendo we fall into each other. like a daydream or a fever (postrock. love it. makes me feel like i'm the only one on earth)

heh.
i'm not one to kiss and tell, but, internet, lets just say while she came she licked my eyeball.
(Thu 4th Dec 2008, 17:10, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

I HAVE HAD SEX WITH AN OLDER LADY AND IT WAS JUST GREAT
inserting my penis into a vagina. fucking love it. can't get enough. i would do it all day if i could. too bad i cant because my partner (older. younger. it all gravy) gets too sore. heh. anyone who hasnt enjoyed a good fuck hasnt lived
(Mon 8th Dec 2008, 17:49, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

Chris Benoit

I wanted to be a professional wrestler since I was a little kid, I collected the cards, did the moves in the playground, and longed for it. I tried out for various holiday camp wrestling schools all with failure. The worst night of my life was when I realised I had neither the technical ability or the charisma to be a professional wrestler. I decided, with tears in my eyes, to go back to university. I read english Literature, but have always kept an enthusiastic eye on wrestling seeing parallells with it and with both greek morality plays and with victorian melodrama, but i digress.

Since my personal failure I've lived vicariously through Chris Benoit. He always seemed like a quiet guy, not a HHH or Rock. He didn't have the style or the outgoingness for being champion, he was quite a tiny guy and didn't have the natural agility or strengths that other wrestlers had. he just wrestled and worked hard. REALLY HARD. through sheer effort of personality he became one of the greatest wrestlers of his generation by the age of 40. Just 40. Imagine it, to be the top of your game at the relatively (these days) young age of 40. He was so respected, because of his talent and his work ethic at such an age.

And then....

To be honest, I still can't bring the two images in my head together. The talented professional with killer smile, the guy who would back up and help the younger members of the wrestling proffession like MVP, giving them the wherewithal to stand on their own two feet in the ring. to figt with pride and honour. and the killer of his wife and child.

it shouldn't of happened like this. not for Chris. Not for Nancy. Oh God, Not for Daniel.

What happened happened. Be it the 'roids, the stress or just the rage of a man frustrated, but still. I lost a hero, a Role Model and a father figure. I lost my faith in a man. A man whose life had been good until a point.

my life had been hopeful till that point.
(Mon 30th Jun 2008, 1:26, More)