b3ta.com user LongTomBadTom
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» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Piss wizards
I used to live in a square of houses with my bedroom window facing out in to the square, all well and good- i had a nice view of the tree in the middle.

Having woken up with the kind of hangover that a birthday drinks session will normally give I was faced with my then girlfriend looking at me with the now famous 'face of thunder'. Apparently at around 8 that morning (prime neighbours going to work time) i had moved to a kneeling position on my bed, which was positioned next to my window. I then opened the window and let go a big,built-up,lots of beer's worth of piss out of the window and all over her car parked in the driveway 3 stories below us. Magnificent.
(Wed 18th Mar 2009, 19:46, More)

» Workplace Boredom

Work boredom/coursework crossover
Meh

Whilst scraping through an art/illustration foundation course (I was that lazy) and working at a news agents with a photocopier, i killed some birds with some stones.

I had a piece of coursework about everyday objects due the next day, so I planned to complete it after my late shift at work by drinking some cold booze, listening to music and sketching out whatever happened to be near by, however I was hit by a tiny bit of inspiration (and massive boredom) and came up with the following when I was still at work

Take 5 Kinder Eggs (this is the approved amount to guarantee you get at least 2 toys (or surprises) that you have to piece together yourself, instead of your toy (surprise) being a ready made crocodile on a surfboard/ shark on rollerblades/ monkey reading Razzle etc. that Kinder seem so intent on disappointing the kids with).

1.)Lay out all the bits of the toy in the photocopier and print.

2.)Lay out the build instructions in the photocopier and print.

3.)Build toy, put in the photocopier and print.

4.)Repeat with other toys.

I then turned these prints into beautifully inked technical diagrams with long winded assembly instructions (Highlighters and nonsense chat).

The result was adoration from lecturers (?)

Anyway, if you work somewhere with a photocopier, and have access to Kinder Eggs near where you work, you can fuck about for hours with it. Why not make cards for your loved ones? Or create a comic using the toys you have released from their plastic yellow prisons? Let your imagination take you places you've never dared venture.

The best feeling is pulling apart your egg and finding a robot to build. yumsk.

If you do find yourself bored enough to give it a bash, please send me the pics, my studies have finished, but in some ways you can never stop learning.
(Sat 10th Jan 2009, 4:19, More)

» Unexpected Nudity

bums
7th?
(Thu 28th May 2009, 13:39, More)