» Blood

One of my mates at uni
Had a bit of an incident with a window on campus a few months ago… heard it second hand, unfortunately I wasn’t there at the time, so apologies for the lack of particularly specific detail.

On the way to the usual Friday night out on campus, his alcohol addled brain apparently decided that the best way in which to find out if the people in the halls next door to his were also coming out was to jump through their kitchen window - this had the not at all surprising result of the window smashing into hundreds of tiny, very sharp pieces, which then imbedded themselves mostly in his arms and neck.

Despite the fact that I’m assuming this was rather painful, and he fast developed a semi crimson mask due to all the blood, he still apparently made it to the on campus club, leaving a tell tale trail of blood en route, before one of his friends persuaded him it might be a good idea to pay a short visit to A&E. Amazingly, considering he had absolutely launched himself at the window, he didn’t even need stitches, though he narrowly avoided having his night made even worse by a bloke with projectile vomiting issues in the waiting room…

He’s still got several scars from the incident, though thankfully he’s managed to keep his window molestation to a minimum since.

First post, so be nice!
(Sun 10th Aug 2008, 15:11, More)

» Nights Out Gone Wrong

Not myself in this case.
But I just woke up to my housemate pissing on my chair because he thought it was the toilet.

I think that's pretty special.
(Sat 26th Mar 2011, 6:03, More)

» Annoying words and phrases

'Safe'
As in:
'You coming to the pub?'
'Ah, yeah, safe.'

Congratulations, you sound like a tit.
(Thu 8th Apr 2010, 13:59, More)

» How clean is your house?

Our kitchen
...looks like this for a fair proportion of the time (student house, needless to say):

www.b3tards.com/u/9c12c49d7503cb734053/p1010561.jpg

Apparently there's a sink under there somewhere...
(Wed 31st Mar 2010, 22:09, More)

» Will you go out with me?

I have the unenviable ability
To scare girls away after being with them for only a couple of weeks…

The asking out isn’t the problem – every girl I’ve asked out has said yes, which I suppose is a minor plus point (well, apart from one girl who I accidentally asked out whilst ridiculously drunk, but let’s not go there). However, after my first serious relationship which lasted around a year, I had a spate of several relationships which ended after 5 days, 2 weeks, and a month respectively.

In each case, no reasons were given, and I’ve no idea what the problem was – well, with the exception of the third one, which I’m fairly sure was as a result of excessive alcohol consumption. Me and some friends were invited over to a birthday party at the then girlfriends uni halls; this being uni, of course we naturally assumed it would be a party of the drunken variety. Even if it was on a Sunday… So we turned up a wee bit merkled on vodka, only to discover that it was in fact a *gasp* sober party – hilarity ensued. Namely, the girlfriend refusing to speak to me, one of my mates getting a bit sweary, and another spectacularly failing to match co-ordinates with his chair. However, the shit successfully matched co-ordinates with the fan the next morning… Anyway, I’ve rather majorly digressed.

Thankfully, things are going swimmingly with the current girlfriend, and we’re now coming up to the four month mark, so it would appear I’ve succeeded in not scaring her off =)
(Sat 30th Aug 2008, 9:23, More)