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Profile for Batter Pudding Hurler:
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No - I am not from Bexhill-Upon-Sea. Only ever visited there once twice. (In my first few rare posts this seems to be a standard question. No idea why...)

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» More Fire!

Science Lab gas taps...
Story below reminds me of one of our favourite lab tricks. Put mouth over the gas tap. Turn on\off for a second to get a mouthful of gas. Now blow out a match. Great fun blowing flames around. (Just don't breathe in)

Now, this trick worked well. And obviously done when teacher was not in the room, or looking the other way.

Then one day Lumpy (for that was his name) went to do this trick. But just after he took the mouthful of gas, the teacher walked back in. If he had not have panicked, he would have put the match out first and just blow the gas into the air after the match was out.

But he didn't. He tried to hide the match under the table. And then he blew downwards onto that match to blow it out. Yes... down... which obviously meant the gas hit the match... and the flames then came back upwards towards him.

He turned a little white for some reason. This was a big tough rugby player... but he went rather pale. Also was missing his eyebrows and this smell of burning hair in the air for some reason.
(Fri 23rd Jan 2015, 20:04, More)

» More Fire!

Wasp Nest Disposal
Back in the 1970s childhood.... Wasp nest was located in the garden. Actually in the ground. Mum came up with a clever idea for disposing of it. This involved a can of petrol tipped down into the nest.

Well, they say you learn a lot from your parents. I learnt that day how not to dispose of a wasp nest as I watched her throw a match onto the nest and then saw the flames chase back towards her.

She was fine, few less eyebrows, looking a little pale.

The main lesson being - if you are going to tip petrol onto something to dispose of it, make sure you let someone else light it...
(Thu 22nd Jan 2015, 19:05, More)

» Public Nudity

Living on fifth floor
Back in the old student days I lived in a fifth floor flat. No curtains. No one opposite. Impossible to look in the windows. So I'd usually walk around in the buff.

Walked out of bedroom one morning into the front room. Naked as normal. So get a rather surprised look from the scaffolder who was putting up scaffolding to fix something at roof height.
(Sat 19th Jul 2014, 13:48, More)

» Things You Still Can't Do Properly Despite Being a Proper Grown Up

First and Last and Always

(Thu 12th Feb 2015, 19:23, More)

» More Fire!

How to avoid shaving - burn your follicles
A friend at school decided to genie a box of matches. Now, I don't know if this is general UK slang, but what this means is to take a match out of the box, strike it, then put it back into the box, thereby lighting every match in there.

Burny flaming fun, but don't try to blow it out.

As you can probably guess, my mate attempted to blow the flames out. That backfired BADLY and he ended up badly burning his chin and mouth area. No permanent scars, but it was a mess for a while.


Now wait a few years... and as he headed into later teens he noticed he had a big advantage over other male friends. He didn't need to shave! That rather nasty accident as a younger teen had remove all the hair from his face. He only needs to shave every couple of weeks.

Not sure if I can recommend setting light to your face to save on the cost of razors... but it worked for Andy.


(I am starting to worry how many pyro-based stories this QOTW has dragged out from my mind...)
(Wed 28th Jan 2015, 21:01, More)
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