» Things we do to fit in

my workmates are cruel...
the other pilots said they wouldn't let me in their gang if i didn't crash a plane (AS A JOKE) into the hudson river...

now I'm the coolest guy at the airport!
(Fri 16th Jan 2009, 15:42, More)

» Things we do to fit in

This happened last night...
I thought it'd be "worth it" to go to the last ever Astoria gig with a couple of pals... however not being a big fan of the indie music that was showcasing i felt somewhat out of place.
Until...
Some big hairy arsemonger emerged out of the crowd and shook my hand!
needless to say i was delighted to finally be accepted at a gig crammed with numerous indie cindies and generic arses!
The hairy man... or "Hagrid" as I lovingly named him, whilst shaking my hand commented that my drumming was fucking brilliant earlier on in the gig.
Now normal me would have said "No... oh no mate you've got the wrong person"... but i needed to feel accepted!

I'm waiting for a call from him to arrange a jam session...

Oh the glorious extent lies take you!
(Fri 16th Jan 2009, 0:01, More)

» Nativity Plays

I'm not bitter...
Growing up in a small village naturally I attended the small village school, full of small-minded bigoted teachers... i wasn't taught by someone who didn't have white skin until secondary school.

Now what's interesting about the final school play i was in (Rudyard Kipling's "The Jungle Book") is the stereotyping... most of it racial.

My rather rotund friend Adam was given the part of Baloo the bear because of his bear-like size and love of honey.

An Effeminate tosser called Joe was Kaa the snake because of his high voice.

A seehk fella by the name of Hardeep was given the much coveted part of Mowgli (Which wasn't shared with another child!), and this was based on the cold hard fact that he had 8 years worth of hair hanging from his head and was undoubtedly from asia!

Lastly King Louie (The Orangutan King of the Monkeys) was given to a tit I Despised called Ore... he was from africa...

Now my part was Father Wolf and to keep me shut up about the shitty size of it i was told that i was the most important character because if it weren't for me then i wouldn't have found an abandoned mowgli and none of the play would have happened...

Now i realise it was a sugar coated way of saying you haven't a likeness to a good jungle character so deal with it.

Racist shitewanks!
(Thu 26th Mar 2009, 18:45, More)