» Gambling

A story about not gambling.
Milton Friedman once famously said 'There is no such thing as a free lunch'. I'm sure he is entirely correct. What he failed to mention was a free dinner.

In 2004 I moved down to Portsmouth as a student, naive in that ways of the world. Being away from home for the first time, I was wide eyed, fresh faced and a bit of a chancer.

My halls of residence were right opposite a casino - the Grosvenor on Commercial road. We first worked out after a big night out that the casino stayed open until 4 am, and as long as you behaved yourself they were more than happy to serve you beer until then. The only proviso was that you had to change up about £10 worth of chips.

One evening an older guy in a sharp suit and shiny shoes turned up, changed up £100 worth of chips, sat at the blackjack table, all the staff flapping round him, getting him drinks, and snacks and finally a big plate of steak and chips.

Being skint, a student and always after food, the prospect of steak and chips was too much to bear. Steak is unobtainable to almost all students unless in a food parcel sent from home, in fact I ate very little meat at uni just because vegetarian food was cheaper, leaving more money for beer. To me the idea of a big juicy steak was irresistible, I had to get some and soon.

I knew there was another Grosvenor Casino about a 15 minute walk away in a new shopping and leisure complex. The next day I shaved, got my suit on, polished my shoes, even ironed a shirt.

I walked into the casino, changed up the sum total of my entire bank balance - £255, I still have the receipt pinned to my corkboard. This really put the shitters up the staff, a young guy, well dressed, changing up a large amount of money with a devil may care look in his eye. Having sat down at the bar I was offered a beer which I took, the manager came over and introduced himself and handed me the restaurant menu. One ribeye steak rare and chips and peas please. I sit at the bar biding my time, acting cool, my dinner arrives. I eat it all.

I meander over to the blackjack table play the sum total of 2 hands, I lose both hands, change my chips up and leave £2 poorer but one dinner and two pints richer. I managed this charade once a week alternating between the casinos for a couple of months before the manager collared me for taking the piss. I ate an awful lot of steak in that time.

The moral of this story? Not gambling but acting as if you might will, in the right circumstances, get you a free dinner.
(Thu 7th May 2009, 20:59, More)

» God

The Creation
Dear God,

Pictures or it didn't happen.
(Thu 19th Mar 2009, 15:53, More)

» Hypocrisy

Animals
I enjoy shooting as a pastime, mainly with a 12bore shotgun but I have have an air rifle too. I will regularly shoot Pheasants, Pigeons and fluffy little bunny rabbits. I will skin them, cook them and eat them and I feel no emotion towards them.

My cat who I owned for 16 years died yesterday and I cried like a baby for hours.
(Thu 19th Feb 2009, 15:04, More)

» Celebrities part II

A Cheeky Pea

The small town I currently reside in is also the home of Sir Bob Gelfof. Now, Sir Bob has lived here long enough that most local people are aware he is around and pay little or no attention to him. He gets no special treatment about the town, and has to queue up for his shopping in tesco just like everyone else.

Just after I finished school, my first job was pulling pints in a pub which was great fun, Sir Bob used to use this pub as his local as it is walking distance from his house. One evening as were just calling time and the punters were thinking about making their way home, Sir Bob sidles over and asks for a final pint for the night. No problem, pour his drink and place it down on the bar.

For some reason, to this day still unknown to me, rather than say 'that is £2.50 please' I just said in a slightly pleading voice and a not very convincing Irish accent "Give us your fockin' money!" The world stood still, I realized the gravity of what I had just said. I had just mocked one of the most famous charity fundraisers in the world. Luckily Bob cracked up and asked my name. We had a chat at the bar for a bit and after I finished my shift he invited me over for a couple of post shift beers.

We chatted about all sorts of stuff, including how I didn't really like the Boomtown Rats, thought Bono was a bit of a twat but how I am totally obsessed with Pink Floyd's 'The Wall' in which Geldof had a major part. I came in for a shift later on that week only to find a copy of 'The Wall' behind the bar signed by Geldof with the inscription 'Anthropos, I gave you my fucking money!'

Sadly a horrid pikey housemate stole my DVD and probably sold it. On the upside I still see Bob about town, he always says hi and remembers my name.
(Thu 8th Oct 2009, 21:20, More)

» I'm your biggest Fan

Insulting Bob Geldof
The small town I currently reside in is also the home of Sir Bob Gelfof. Now, Sir Bob has lived here long enough that most local people are aware he is around and pay little or no attention to him. He gets no special treatment about the town, and has to queue up for his shopping in tesco just like everyone else.

Just after I finished school, my first job was pulling pints in a pub which was great fun. Sir Bob used to use this pub as his local as it is walking distance from his house. One evening as were just calling time and the punters were thinking about making their way home, Sir Bob sidles over and asks for a final pint for the night. No problem, pour his drink and place it down on the bar.

For some reason, to this day still unknown to me, rather than say 'that is £2.50 please' I just said in a slightly pleading voice and a not very convincing Irish accent "Give us your fockin' money!" The world stood still. I realized the gravity of what I had just said, I had just mocked one of the most famous charity fundraisers in the world. Luckily Bob cracked up and asked my name. We had a chat at the bar for a bit and after I finished my shift he invited me over for a couple of post shift beers.

We chatted about all sorts of stuff, including how I didn't really like the Boomtown Rats, thought Bono was a bit of a twat and how I am totally obsessed with Pink Floyd's 'The Wall' in which Geldof had a major part. I came in for a shift later on that week only to find a copy of 'The Wall' behind the bar signed by Geldof with the inscription 'Anthropos, I gave you my fucking money!'

Sadly a horrid pikey housemate stole my DVD and probably sold it. On the upside I still see Bob about town, he always says hi and remembers my name.
(Wed 22nd Apr 2009, 10:29, More)