» False Economies

Cheap ass shredders
As happens over time, one tends to collect a lot of personal documents and being somewhat of a pack rat my Mom had loads. Eventually, the day came and it was time to dispose of a whole load of these documents. Now the question came how best to dispose of it all. Mother had a few options available; send the papers to a company that specializes in shredding, buy a shredder, DIY shredding AKA tear it up yourself, or throw it away.

Sending the papers to a company for shredding was too expensive. There was too much of this crap to tear up ourselves. The information in these documents were too steal worthy to simply throw away. This left buying a shredder the only real option. So a trip to the local Rymans it was to look at shredders. Now there were a load of options for different mechanical shredders varying in different prices. Now for my mother this was all too expensive so what does she opt for? A cheap ass hand crank shredder for a fiver. Her justification, there wasn't that much to shred, just two bags worth really...

Back home, she unpacks the shredder and begins shredding documents. This was working fine until about the fifth load of papers were inserted into the shredder. By this point, I should point out that the blades were already beginning to go quite dull and the hand crank was laboring. I estimate that by about a third of the way through the first bag, the hand crank shredder was already destroyed. Mother was of course disappointed and all I could say was that's what you get for buying a cheap as shit shredder.

The shredder for a fiver story is one that I now bring up anytime my mother is choosing to be a cheapskate for no good reason.
(Sat 28th Jun 2014, 2:14, More)

» Bizarre leaps of logic


Had a bizarre conversation with a few technicians at my internship. I guess being computer nerds, this is bound to happen...

I'm listening to a conversation about bacon whilst I'm trying to concentrate on preparing computers to be deployed the next day. So eventually my curiosity gets the better of me and ask why one of the techs had annoyed one of the cafeteria works. So I learned that for religious reasons, he doesn't eat bacon. Cue the ADHD affected Tech who is supposed to supervise me, who says that he has a problem with anyone who doesn't like bacon. So I dead pan that its just as well that I like bacon.

Of course this starts the bizarre conversation that apparently, in spite of the fact that I eat bacon among many things, I must be a vegan. Cue a colorful conversation where I point out that not only do I eat meat on daily basis, I am comfortable to wear clothes that are made from those same animals.

Nope still a fucking vegan...
(Sat 14th Dec 2013, 5:25, More)

» Destruction, Demolition and Deconstruction

Destruction of a processor
In my hardware class, we (my partner and myself) had to find out what socket our processor was plugged in. This involves jimmying a couple of clips either side of the cooling unit. Of course, we did end up breaking one of the clips, but kept going hoping no one would notice our error. The cooling unit was returned to its place and the surviving clip was put in place. No one seeing our error, we turned the computer on. There was a high pitched wirring sound followed by a slight burning smell. My partner and I turned the computer off and removed the cover. Upon its removal, we were hit with the somewhat unpleasant smell of burnt plastic, silicone and other burnt bits. My partner left to be sick whilst we looked and smelled the now burnt processor. Not a smell to be forgotten. That is probably the worst thing I have ever taken down
(Sat 10th Nov 2012, 2:03, More)

» Iffy crushes


not sure if this is all that odd but...

Jeremy Kyle - He may be an arsehole on tv but he's an honest arsehole.
The Stig - Oh the control he exerts on cars on power laps and many impure thoughts come to mind when considering a shag with a man who probably sleeps in his helmet and overalls...
Marco Pierre White - Ex cook, looks like a smoker, probable smells like one, smooth talker, moody and damn sexy when he cooks
(Sat 8th Oct 2011, 2:54, More)

» Ouch!

falling on my tail bone/arse
This doesn't sound that painful but it did hurt like a bugger for a while

I was at the gym doing an muscle toning class and one of the exercises involved a large exercise ball. All that was involved in said exercise was to do sit-ups on the ball. Of course, when your beginning to get hot and sweaty, and the floor is not that clean, things become rather slippery. The end result, the slightly over inflated ball decided that it would slip out from underneath me. I tried to stop myself from falling but was spectacularly unsuccessful. Basically, I fell on somewhere between my arse and tailbone. Now this wouldn't hurt so much normally, but I also have a slightly dodgy back. The ice pack I was given to numb the pain was very welcome and gladly accepted.

For the next couple of weeks, it was a somewhat painful experience to walk up and down stairs and bend over and occasionally to use the toilet. It still took a couple of months to fully recover from it though. I don't recommend falling on the arse
(Sat 31st Jul 2010, 2:31, More)