» Things to do before you die

Talk to my Dad properly
Apologies for lack of funnies in this.

It started when I was about 11. My nan died, and my dad was her only child. As his father, her husband, was hugely older than her, he died early, leaving the two of them alone, and they became really close.

She'd had two strokes in two years, and the doctors had made noises about her maybe going into a home, but she was sturrbon and independent so they made a compromise and she came to live in our house. We converted half the lounge into a bedroom for her. It was quite nice and she taught me tarot and how to bake.

Then she died, suddenly, one night. I remember her going to hospital and then the phone ringing at 3am and my Dad crying. He cried all of that night, but never again after. I don't think he really believed that she was gone.

I don't think he ever got over it, either. Within a year he had a nervous breakdown, then another and another. Every time he had them he'd go "for a walk" and be found days later ten or twelve miles away, dehydrated, curled up in a bush somewhere. His brain had gone a bit crazy and told him that the people who had taken his mother away were coming for him, too.

Eventually he was sectioned and the stay in the local psych hospital helped a bit, although he somehow managed to escape.

Slowly, he got better, stopped running away, trusted the doctors and nuses. But he isn't himself, and the doctors say he never will be again; something's broken in his mind and they don't know if he will fix itself in a week, a year, or never.

I've had long chats with my mum about it and I think she's OK, they stayed married and I hope they're happy, even though he isn't the man she married, not in personality anyway.

I've never spoken to him about how it affected me, how abandoned I felt and how terrified I was when he left on those numerous occassions, because every time I brought it up he changed the subject or didn't seem to understand.

I want to talk to him properly about it. One day.
(Thu 14th Oct 2010, 13:31, More)

» Caught!

Surprise!
I write steamy romance on the side of my regular job. Recently my publisher asked me to try erotica, as it's selling quite well these days (although I think sexy words will never not sell well, tbh). After a few false starts I got writing properly, and then really started to enjoy it.

That particular week, it was dead at work. Dead - the phone didn't even ring. We hardly got any post. My colleague and I resorted to rearranging the items in the stock room for something to do.

So, I decided to crack on with my erotic story. After an hour or so of typing, my boss rang and asked me to give her a copy of some report I'd written 2 weeks ago.

Guess what I gave her by accident.

Luckily, she saw the funny side.

She didn't give it back though....
(Wed 9th Jun 2010, 16:24, More)

» Real-life slapstick

Flour
I recently got myself an electric hand-mixer and decided to try it out on Saturday night (my life is so terribly exciting). Great, thinks I, I'll make apple crumble.

I read the instructions carefully before clipping all the bits together and then pressed the on button. All went well. Then my hand slipped and, like a character in a cartoon, every inch of me became coated in flour. Over my clothes. Under my clothes. All over the kitchen floor. I even found some in my bra.

I'd accidentally pressed the "turbo" button.
(Mon 25th Jan 2010, 12:27, More)

» Neighbours

Ex-Neighbours
My ex-neighbours, Jim and Dee, were awesome. Jim had a subscription to SeeFilmFirst or whatever it is and would always lend me the DVDs in exchange for a bit of whatever cake I happened to have made that week. They had a lovely husky called Caesar who is the soppiest dog I've ever met.

I always used to wake up on a Sunday morning, go hang the washing and be greeted with the sight of Jim doing something hilarious, like seeing how many clothes pegs he could attach to his beard.

They were awesome. Thankfully, they've only moved a few streets away. Still miss them though.
(Thu 1st Oct 2009, 15:20, More)

» Bizarre habits

I'm sure this is not unusual
But I like to separate the foods on my plate and eat them one at a time, in order of least liked to most liked. The yummiest foods are saved until last.

Also, my bearded dragon has a wierd habit. He won't eat any non-live food (pepper, cucumber, rocket, carrots etc) unless it's on a green plate. This could be any green plate at all, but if it's not on a green background he doesn't notice its existence...
(Fri 2nd Jul 2010, 12:19, More)