b3ta.com user Pere Ubu, Duke of Lithuania
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Profile for Pere Ubu, Duke of Lithuania:
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» Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude
When do I laugh at the misfortune of others? Every day, I'm a policeman.
Drug dealers beaten up by other drug dealers, then they phone the police to report it - join the back of that very long queue my friend. Cheating husband has heart attack at mistresses house and wife has to come and identify the body still laid in mistresses bed - I couldn't make it up. Goat loose in a clothes shop, manageress doesn't know what to do - who ya gonna call? Goatbusters.
(Thu 17th Dec 2009, 22:22, More)

» Brain Fade

Sink piss
coming off a night shift in a factory i went for a piss before clocking off. As i stood at the large metal trough i thought to myself "its kind of odd that there's a soap dispenser in the middle of the urinal. And why is there a mirror above the urinal, that's pretty unusual too". As i looked in said mirror i saw an identical metal trough behind me with no soap dispenser and no mirror above it.
(Fri 22nd Mar 2013, 15:27, More)

» B3TA fixes the world

"Community" Service
Prison is expensive. "Community" service is unpopular with the general public. True fact. We have about 400 years worth of coal stuck under ground in the UK since Thatcher decided mining was uncool and coal was uneconomical to dig out. Solution. Prisoners should be made to go underground and dig coal for free until their debt to society is repaid. We all get lots of lovely low cost electricity. Wrong 'uns getting a punishment that they are truly scared of - hard manual labour, no more day time telly and wanking.
(Thu 29th Sep 2011, 1:08, More)

» Sexism

Dirty Tactics
When ever a woman is losing an argument with a man all she has to do is burst into tears and she wins. It's a dirty trick because the man has to give in instantly, comfort her and apologise or he is viewed as a complete arsehole regardless of how stupid/immature/far fetched/stubborn etc her argument was.
(Wed 6th Jan 2010, 0:04, More)

» Sexism

Equal Pay
Women earn less than men on average - fact. Maybe it's because they don't work as hard?
(Tue 5th Jan 2010, 23:59, More)
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