» Babysitters

Not quite babysitters
and not quite on topic but how and ever. My second was born just yesterday and has since developed a bit of a temperature. Hopefully nothing to be too concerned about and he is now in the intensive care unit. As a result I watched several nurses look after up to five very poorly baby's each feeding, clothing and monitoring each. When parents came down to spend time with their baby's the nurses were fantastically supportive whilst not giving the parents false hope. I watched them resuscitate a baby twice today within all of five feet of me. It is intensely emotional. They are TRUE babysitters.

Apologies for lack of funnys.
(Sat 30th Oct 2010, 20:43, More)

» Conversation Killers

Was in a bar
with a mate and some of his new college friends (All girls), when he mentioned one of them used to go to a summer Irish school with us. She was duly introduced but I couldn't for the life of me remember her. Several examples were given but nothing. She then pointed out she used to have red hair and not black, to which I cheerfully replied "Oh yeah! You're the girl everyone used to finger on the beach..."

Silence ensued.
(Thu 12th May 2011, 14:06, More)

» Unusual talents

Keepin things Calm like
I work with troubled youths. One of my talents is my unique approach to de-escalating aggressive kids. One situation involved me walking into a room with a kid armed with a kitchen chair standing on a table with two youth workers trying to talk him down.

My weapon, a cookbook. The suspicious child inquired as to what the fuck did I expect to accomplish with the book. I then proceeded to read recipes for twenty minutes until the kid said enough was enough and that he'd get down.
(Fri 19th Nov 2010, 13:33, More)

» Fairgrounds, theme parks, circuses and carnivals

In Ireland
we have our fair share of shabby travelling fairgrounds. These were very much a highlight of all our younger years. Back round the time when Kevin Costner was Robin Hood and it was the only video my nan had for us to watch, a fair arrived in our little village.

My friend and I scoured the entire show which took a whole half minute. Deciding we love life too much (The next village a kid would die on one of the rides)we settled on the games of chance. After too long at the pluck a duck stand we headed over to the sucker arrow crossbows.

No one ever won these. But young Daz began to sing the "Dundadundadundadundadundaaaadundaaaaaduuunnnn" from Robin Hood and BAM. Bullseye. My friend and I stared. 20 Pounds!!!!!!

We called over the attendant and displayed my triumph. He glanced at it, grunted and hit the board causing the arrow to slide down the board out of the winning zone. Now being much smaller we were smart enough not to argue too much.

But that, dickhead, is how the same night your shitty little stall got covered in old paint.
(Tue 14th Jun 2011, 8:12, More)

» Old stuff I still know

As I've said before I work with young kids,
one day I came into work to find them all round the Xbox playing none other than street fighter. They were engaging in typical button bashing fervor, no finesse whatsoever.

I asked if they minded if I had a quick go. Button basher numero uno said no bother laughing with the lads already with his victory, in their eyes, a certainty. Imagine my delight when I learned the moves were still the same.

HADOUKEN! SHORYUKEN! HURRICANE KICK!!!!!

I thanked him for the game, told him he fought a good fight and handed the control to his now silent friends.
(Thu 30th Jun 2011, 17:30, More)