» Dad stories

Dad
Mum left when me and my sister were 7 and 4. She went off with another bloke and didn't want us around.

He worked shifts, double 3 out 5 days a week and both Sat and Sun mornings alternately. Never saw the old bugger, (Nan did a cracking job of bringing us up) but there would be those weekends when he was off, where whatever we wanted to do we did. Swimming twice at 2 different pools on a sunday - check. As long as I babysat while he went for a pint on Saturday night, his world was complete.

Then mum decided to come back, and take us away. She applied for full custody, and due to a complete wanker of a soliciter confusing my little sister, the judge moved us to my mums. Saw dad once every other weekend, he would be in bits at the end of sunday. Mum then went to the CSA and did him for more money, even though she was marrying a millionaire.

Nearly did for him. But he just got on. Worked his arse off to pay back every penny of CSA/Legal aid. I lost it with mum, and moved into a mates; dad would drive a 20 mile round trip just to chat for 10 mins.

I went away to Uni and mum and my sister moved away. Dad was there for everything.

About 7 years ago I fell in love, and went to tell him I was getting married. He had gotten re-married and was happy, but he cried like a baby; he was late for the bloody wedding but Dad has never been ontime. He cried at the wedding, during his speech. This bloke I'd never seen shed a tear was so happy.

I have 2 small kids now, and he was there for both births, in tears at his grandsons. He only ever said one piece of advice "now you'll know why I love you, no matter what"..

Best.Dad.Ever.
(Sat 27th Nov 2010, 18:52, More)

» Guilty Laughs

Not sure but
Back in the days when I got QTS, my first job was at a very middle class school, where there were 99% of parents were happy. But there was always one....

First lesson of AS maths, the class asks about the new teacher, where you from etc, and I tell them that this is my first job. One lad pipes up "Are you qualified?", "of course" I respond, whilst secretly thinking what a dick..

Now the next day my head of department gets a phone call from the father of this boy. He basically implied that a new teacher should not be teaching his son. My boss laughed him off and just said "You always get wankers..."

Now, I thought it would go away. But for the rest of the year, he is a twat. No homework, no effort in lessons; detentions go missed and there is no support from home. At parents evening his dad refuses to talk to me, his sons teacher and goes straight to the Head and tells him I've taught his son wrong. Father has employed an ex-teacher, about 70, and my methods are different. They are new, easier etc. I just get more and more depressed in teaching the class.

Now, AS module exams in June. The Lad wants to do medicne, so straight A's needed. I am invidulating the exam and I'm wandering around the room, and as I walk past him, I see he has done question 1 using the wrong equation. 0 marks. A chuckle starts. I wander around and pass him again when he is on Q4. Not only has he used the wrong numbers (x=5, question said 15), but again completely the wrong method; its actually the one he should have used in Q1. Q5 isn't even the right subject.

Now I can't help myself. I make the laugh snort, and have to quickly get out into the corridor. I am laughing so loudly that the other invidualtor thinks its group of kids and comes out to find me on the floor. I regain calm with about 5 mins left and collect up the papers.

As he walks out, he just says "Well, I think I've got well over 90%, no help from you!". At this point I laugh like Brian Blessed and he walks off...

He got 11%.
(Sun 25th Jul 2010, 17:53, More)

» Beautiful Moments, Part Two

Local Fete
ok, our village has had its annual scarecrow festival this week, and to finish it off, my wife organise an old fashioned fete; tombola, candy floss, bobbing for apples etc.

I went for a wander with the boys and there is a family there. Mum and the kids are loving it, dad looks like he'd rather be anywhere else. One of the kids, a boy of about 6 asks dad for a pound to go on the Show your Strength machine; use a hammer, hit a target, make the bell at the top ring.

Dad moans about it being a complete waste of money but this lad keeps on. Eventually dad gives him the money but says "you'll never do it, all these shitty fair things are rigged so you can't win".

He picks up the sledgehammer, somehow gets it in the air and swings it down. It's awkward, all over the place but he hits the target.

"Ding".

I didn't look at the marker thing as it went up but he wins the top prize (a giant spongebob) and Dad looks mightly subdued.

As he walks of, the stall owner sees me watching and lifts a second bell, hidden under his chair. "I hate it when parents do that. You have to give kids a chance! He only got it about 75% there so I helped a bit".

Thing of absolute beauty.
(Sun 8th Aug 2010, 16:51, More)

» Brain Fade

Gambling
Many moons ago, I was gambling a lot. If there was an event on, I had to have a bet.

Came home from a night out, logged into Bet365 (other worse betting sites are use-able, but now I realise this is the worst) and thought I would have my usual treble.

£20, Arsenal to win, Newcastle win and West Brom to draw. Been doing this bet as a "standard" one over the last 4 seasons. Been doing well. Up about £300.

Trouble was, they had just updated their website and it was no longer in price order. So I'd backed.

Arsenal to lose to Hull at Home
Newcastle to lose to Blackburn at home
West Brom to win away at Middlesburgh.

I tried to cancel the bet. Rang Bet365 and they (correctly) said I'd been sober enough to get through security so the bet stands.

Won just under 2 grand.
(Sun 24th Mar 2013, 23:10, More)

» "You're doing it wrong"

Final day of school
Being the teacher with the most gadgets, I take my PS3 into school to play on the last day, using a red/yellow/white adapter. At home I play using HDMI. I get to school and rig it into the data projector. \select video source and nothing.

Scan all frequency on the projector: Nothing. Blue screen with no signal all across it. No matter what we do.

Down to the IT geeks, they come up, spend 20 mins and nothing. Just about every male teacher has put their opinion in, loads of students and we are just about to quit when in walks S, yr 12 girl, no ICT skills and biggest interest getting drunk and boys.

"You just hold down the "on" key on the PS3 and it automatically sense the output used and resets the signal".

60 men, defeated on technologcal knowledge by a girly girl. We collectively looked at each other then walked away, slighlty ashamed..
(Fri 16th Jul 2010, 18:49, More)