Profile for Awk Industries:
Hello. As you have gathered, this is indeed my profile. Not your profile.
My original user name was Awkos272 (actually AwkOS2·72, but the decimal-point didn't work for some reason), hence the text at the foot of some of the pictures.
Well, my first ever image was this:
Click for bigger (389 kb)
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Nothing else really. More will be added as I can be bothered adding it. Since I'm pig-lazy not good at remembering to update my on-line stuff, it probably won't expand much beyond this.
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 13 years, 6 months and 4 days
- has posted 18 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 6 stories and 44 replies on question of the week
- They liked 14 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 12 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Hello. As you have gathered, this is indeed my profile. Not your profile.
My original user name was Awkos272 (actually AwkOS2·72, but the decimal-point didn't work for some reason), hence the text at the foot of some of the pictures.
Well, my first ever image was this:
Click for bigger (389 kb)
-----------------------------------
Nothing else really. More will be added as I can be bothered adding it. Since I'm
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Irrational Hatred
I have a massive list of things, some of which include...
- The metric system. Almost certainly the most irrational. Especially since it is easiest to use.
- People asking me "Would you like to do XYZ?" when they really mean "do XYZ now" No I fucking would NOT like to do it; I'm only doing it because you damn well told me to!
- Text-speak. My mum has started using it and I struggle to decipher about half of her texts.
- American spellings. What was wrong with the originals?
- Using "percent" instead of "per cent". Again, a totally irrational one.
- The number of times I have to use the back-space key because my computer keys are so small.
Edit; add these.
- Having to edit my posts because my useless lard-lump of a brain won't re-call all the relevant information when it is needed.
- People who write "i" instead of I. There are two shift keys on most key-boards; please use them.
- That cat from two doors down called "Daisy" who comes in, eats all the food left for our own cats, hisses at them, sleeps on whichever bed it wants then leaves.
- Companies like Apple, Microsoft and Tesco who claim to be American (or British); most of their manufacturing facilities are in China.
- iPhones, iPods, iPads, eReaders, (in fact any of these things with the capital letter in the wrong place).
Finally...
Companies who have Facebook or Twitter addresses in their adverts and assume that every person on the planet has either. As if I'm going to join the Royal Marines purely because I saw them on Facebook.
"Status update: Just blown a man's head off LOL"
(Sun 3rd Apr 2011, 21:50, More)
I have a massive list of things, some of which include...
- The metric system. Almost certainly the most irrational. Especially since it is easiest to use.
- People asking me "Would you like to do XYZ?" when they really mean "do XYZ now" No I fucking would NOT like to do it; I'm only doing it because you damn well told me to!
- Text-speak. My mum has started using it and I struggle to decipher about half of her texts.
- American spellings. What was wrong with the originals?
- Using "percent" instead of "per cent". Again, a totally irrational one.
- The number of times I have to use the back-space key because my computer keys are so small.
Edit; add these.
- Having to edit my posts because my useless lard-lump of a brain won't re-call all the relevant information when it is needed.
- People who write "i" instead of I. There are two shift keys on most key-boards; please use them.
- That cat from two doors down called "Daisy" who comes in, eats all the food left for our own cats, hisses at them, sleeps on whichever bed it wants then leaves.
- Companies like Apple, Microsoft and Tesco who claim to be American (or British); most of their manufacturing facilities are in China.
- iPhones, iPods, iPads, eReaders, (in fact any of these things with the capital letter in the wrong place).
Finally...
Companies who have Facebook or Twitter addresses in their adverts and assume that every person on the planet has either. As if I'm going to join the Royal Marines purely because I saw them on Facebook.
"Status update: Just blown a man's head off LOL"
(Sun 3rd Apr 2011, 21:50, More)
» Redundant technology
Much redundant tech lives in my hovel, including...
A C.R.T. television (colour - it isn't that old!)
A chemistry text-book from 1911. Interestingly, almost all of the measurements are in metric, although it is written somewhere in it that a sovereign coin made of (pure) gold can be hammered into a 50 sq. foot sheet less than 1 - 250,000TH of an inch thick.
A steel foot rule made in Birmingham, accurate to 1 - 64TH (0·015625) of an inch - no metric measure on it at all.*
A 50-foot tape measure, again no metric measure any where on it. Both measuring devices are probably from the 1950s.
A copy of the "Mechanical World Year Book - 1954".
Two slide-rules, one about twice as big as the other. The bigger one is from 1952 and has trig. formulae printed on the reverse. The smaller one has only sine, cosine, tan. and cotan. values on it and I now believe it to be of similar age.
Several reels of film from the early 1960s, one of which is audio. The others, unsurprisingly have no sound.
A Zippo. These appear to have largely been replaced by cheap disposable lighters. I only bought it (brand new) in July, and it takes proper lighter-fluid, not butane. Nothing quite beats flicking it open and reciting that eternal Die Hard quote...
I still hand write a lot of things, and my hand writing is quite illegible at times.
I also occasionally use wax seals (I melt the wax with my out-dated Zippo) on some things.
Sadly my eight-year-old Compaq conked out (NMI Parity Check, whatever that is) not that long ago. I spent £79·99 on a new (A.T.I. Radeon 9,600) graphics card for the ungrateful bastard-machine too!
I have a hack saw (again, probably 1950s - a lot of my stuff is from that time) which goes through most things in half the time a modern saw would take.
And worst of all...
Some tungsten-filament light bulbs. Come and get me, Europhiles.
*I also discovered that the rule is bloody great for threatening first years with when they pass comment about your mother and you have no witty reply. If only I had the balls to actually hit one of them... :(
Also, will someone please re-introduce top hats and the word "thrice" into every day usage?
Length? Varies from item to item, but can be measured accurate to 0·015625 of an inch.
(Sat 6th Nov 2010, 19:54, More)
Much redundant tech lives in my hovel, including...
A C.R.T. television (colour - it isn't that old!)
A chemistry text-book from 1911. Interestingly, almost all of the measurements are in metric, although it is written somewhere in it that a sovereign coin made of (pure) gold can be hammered into a 50 sq. foot sheet less than 1 - 250,000TH of an inch thick.
A steel foot rule made in Birmingham, accurate to 1 - 64TH (0·015625) of an inch - no metric measure on it at all.*
A 50-foot tape measure, again no metric measure any where on it. Both measuring devices are probably from the 1950s.
A copy of the "Mechanical World Year Book - 1954".
Two slide-rules, one about twice as big as the other. The bigger one is from 1952 and has trig. formulae printed on the reverse. The smaller one has only sine, cosine, tan. and cotan. values on it and I now believe it to be of similar age.
Several reels of film from the early 1960s, one of which is audio. The others, unsurprisingly have no sound.
A Zippo. These appear to have largely been replaced by cheap disposable lighters. I only bought it (brand new) in July, and it takes proper lighter-fluid, not butane. Nothing quite beats flicking it open and reciting that eternal Die Hard quote...
I still hand write a lot of things, and my hand writing is quite illegible at times.
I also occasionally use wax seals (I melt the wax with my out-dated Zippo) on some things.
Sadly my eight-year-old Compaq conked out (NMI Parity Check, whatever that is) not that long ago. I spent £79·99 on a new (A.T.I. Radeon 9,600) graphics card for the ungrateful bastard-machine too!
I have a hack saw (again, probably 1950s - a lot of my stuff is from that time) which goes through most things in half the time a modern saw would take.
And worst of all...
Some tungsten-filament light bulbs. Come and get me, Europhiles.
*I also discovered that the rule is bloody great for threatening first years with when they pass comment about your mother and you have no witty reply. If only I had the balls to actually hit one of them... :(
Also, will someone please re-introduce top hats and the word "thrice" into every day usage?
Length? Varies from item to item, but can be measured accurate to 0·015625 of an inch.
(Sat 6th Nov 2010, 19:54, More)
» Things to do before you die
Things to do...
1. Buy a helicopter.
2. Fly it all over Inverness, trailing a banner reading "Eat my dust, knobs!"
3. Land it, somehow exchange it for a Spitfire, repeat operation with the same banner.
4. Find a way to stop my computer spelling it "center" as I am British and highly pedantic.
5. Cure my insanity, autism and A.D.H.D. Okay, leave the insanity.
6. Get robotic fingers so I stop making so many damned typos!*
* Probably won't help. But on the up side, I might be able to crush someone's skull with my bare hands. Bwahaha. Maybe I should see to that sanity problem...
(Wed 20th Oct 2010, 10:34, More)
Things to do...
1. Buy a helicopter.
2. Fly it all over Inverness, trailing a banner reading "Eat my dust, knobs!"
3. Land it, somehow exchange it for a Spitfire, repeat operation with the same banner.
4. Find a way to stop my computer spelling it "center" as I am British and highly pedantic.
5. Cure my insanity, autism and A.D.H.D. Okay, leave the insanity.
6. Get robotic fingers so I stop making so many damned typos!*
* Probably won't help. But on the up side, I might be able to crush someone's skull with my bare hands. Bwahaha. Maybe I should see to that sanity problem...
(Wed 20th Oct 2010, 10:34, More)
» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta
I found B3ta
because my brother bought the joke-book. After reading through it, I decided a wee while later to check out the site, before finally gathering the courage to sign up. After that...
Sadly neither my brother nor I can actually find the book any more.
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 14:30, More)
I found B3ta
because my brother bought the joke-book. After reading through it, I decided a wee while later to check out the site, before finally gathering the courage to sign up. After that...
Sadly neither my brother nor I can actually find the book any more.
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 14:30, More)
» Broken Promises
I got a Zippo,
I was not, under any circumstances, to tell my brother.
The first thing I did after getting home with it was quietly approach him and tell him I had one*. He was extremely annoyed; neither of us were at the time old enough to buy one ourselves. It keeps me amused for a whole five minutes** sometimes.
* Okay, I did fill it and light it a few times first.
** This is very difficult to do; normally keeping my attention on anything (other than fire) for five minutes is difficult.
(Thu 2nd Dec 2010, 19:56, More)
I got a Zippo,
I was not, under any circumstances, to tell my brother.
The first thing I did after getting home with it was quietly approach him and tell him I had one*. He was extremely annoyed; neither of us were at the time old enough to buy one ourselves. It keeps me amused for a whole five minutes** sometimes.
* Okay, I did fill it and light it a few times first.
** This is very difficult to do; normally keeping my attention on anything (other than fire) for five minutes is difficult.
(Thu 2nd Dec 2010, 19:56, More)