» First World Problems

Health Food Stores
I went into one expecting whole grain bread, raw vegetables and unprocessed food, instead it's all pills and potions. Stupid twats can't call it what it is; Hypochondriac Supplies.
(Mon 5th Mar 2012, 1:00, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

I was roaming around at a party at someone's house that I did not know,
when I noticed a dog in a closed up room wearing a sort of a diaper. It was that mythical creature, a bitch in heat. There was also a used diaper thing carefully folded up in the bin.
There was bitch of the human type there that I did know. The sort that keeps emasculators in her purse, just in case.
I found her knee high wet look boots in the vestibule and I annointed them with fresh eau de bitch. I then wedged the diaper thing under her car.
By the time she finally left there were three dogs frantically sniffing her car and one of them made a determined attempt to foxtrot with her leg.
(Tue 21st Feb 2012, 15:40, More)

» Brain Fade

I had just shut down my computer for the night
when I thought I should post something before they change the QOTW. So I powered the computer back up, forgetting that I really didn't have anything to say.
(Thu 28th Mar 2013, 3:31, More)

» Ignorance

Pissing into a urinal one morning
it occurred to me that I had not checked the sign on the door when I came in and it was 50/50 that I was in the wrong washroom.
(Wed 5th Sep 2012, 1:22, More)

» The B3TA Detective Agency

The Princess and the Pea
I was 4 years old. Someone was telling the story of the princess who could feel a pea through 13 mattresses. I said,"Oh, she must have smelled it."
(Tue 18th Oct 2011, 4:08, More)