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» Tactless

At my brother's wedding, greeting line after the ceremony...
Mother of former running buddy (said buddy had since become quite a bit of a cunt): "My, but you've put on a lot of weight!"

Me (smiling): "Why, thank you for noticing! And might I say how very old you're looking nowadays."

Her, stunned silence. Her husband, gazing at floor. My Aunt and Uncle, laughing uproariously.

Damn, it felt good.
(Tue 8th Nov 2011, 14:54, More)

» Screwed over by The Man

The wife took it at work...
Not in the way it sounds. She got suspended for two weeks due to a policy violation (fair enough, she did do wrong). They told her she had to leave the premises (Cinemark Theater) IMMEDIATELY!

When she went back to start up again the POS manager had extended her suspension for a third week for not signing out of her shift.

The dickweed used to manage the Cinemark in Aurora, CO. So, yeah, disgruntled employee was the first thought across our minds.
(Mon 6th Aug 2012, 0:11, More)

» Why I Love/Hate Britain

stamp thatcher
Love the Stamp Act. It was a driving force in uniting the Colonies to form the USA. Thank you very much for the nudge.

Hate Margaret Thatcher. Not for her policies, but her ovaries. She will be referenced ad nauseum in our next presidential election as a reason why we should elect that shrieking bitch of a harpy, Hillary Clinton. A dastardly revenge you plotted, there.
(Sun 6th Oct 2013, 16:47, More)

» Relief

Mrs. Sloremonger was driving, three chipmunks in the road ahead...
she swerved but didn't know if she missed them. Imagine her relief when I reported that she had, indeed, hit 2 out of 3.
(Mon 24th Dec 2012, 12:56, More)

» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

Had this just the other day
Grilled (using gobs of real butter) cheese sandwich. Swiss, mozzarella and mild yellow cheeses as binder for sliced roast pork loin, crispy bacon and braised pulled pork butt (with all the gelatinous goodness). yum
(Fri 27th May 2011, 1:35, More)
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