» Rubbish Towns

Worksop...
This is a place where most of the curry houses serve their dishes with a Kraft Cheese Slice melting on top because it's what people ask for.
(Fri 30th Oct 2009, 15:39, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

'Are you courting yet?'
Despite now being 27, I still occasionally have an old person ask me 'Are you courting yet?'

What does that MEAN? Does it mean 'Do you currently have a girlfriend?', 'Are you engaged to be married?', 'Ever had any pussy?'.

What does that phrase MEAN?!?!?!
(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 7:01, More)

» I just don't get it

Tiny Vials of Yoghurt!
I don't understand why Yoghurt is so wonderful. Recently, it seems that companies started putting yoghurt in tiny pots that resemble medicinal vials, and the 'friendly bacteria' inside make us healthy somehow. These people are conning the yoga practising vegetarian middle Class Housewives that they can be immortal by drinking yoghurt.
Got AIDS? Have a tiny pot of yoghurt, those friendly bacteria will sort it right out! It's like when they put cocaine in Coca Cola and claimed that it cured broncitis.
(Fri 1st Apr 2005, 1:29, More)

» Local Nutters

Ealing is classic
If you have lived in Ealing for more than a few minutes, you notice an incredible amount of nutters wondering about.

'Harry' is my favourite. He is a middle-aged man, probably schizophrenic, and when his 'other voices' talk to him, he shouts to himself with his hand by his ear as if holding an invisible mobile phone. My favourite repetitious phrase was 'I'm one man, on one mission, against the whole of West London'.

Why don't his carers give him a broken mobile phone, then he could integrate into society un-noticed.

Ealing also features:
* 'Mad rastafari', dresses kinda like a rasta, and stares wildly at people while ranting. Best ever was seeing him with his nose pressed against the window of blockbusters, ranting at those inside. I went past him, came back 4 hours later, and he is on the INSIDE of the same window, ranting outwards.
* 'Crying boy', who is about 20, & approaches people for money whilst unleashing crocodile tears (not the song.) Always gives the exact same 'Lost my mates, dont have money, dont know where i am' story
* 'Shit eating gambler'. An offensively smelly woman who has brown stuff round her mouth, and begs for money with a hand full of lottery tickets.

* 'Tourettes kid'. He has Tourettes.
* '
(Fri 17th Sep 2004, 22:50, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

Not really thrown out...
But I was on the Wide Awake Club when I was 11. My then baby brother and sister decided to take felt tip pens to my WAC PAC.

cunts.
(Mon 18th Aug 2008, 10:44, More)