» We have to talk

Worse than "we need to talk"
is avoiding it. My exit strategies have included phone call, email and text. My favourite avoidance of "we need to talk" went even lower.

I sent my about-to-be-ex a link to a 'special' section of my website. (I later forwarded the same email to all of my friends). This special page had a photo of us together with a big red cross through him (expertly done in MS Paint) marqueeing across the page, with text underneath saying "You have been chucked. Thank you for visiting this website".

I've bumped into him a couple of times since, and it ain't been pleasant, but at least we didn't need to talk.
(Fri 20th Apr 2007, 10:52, More)

» Why I was late

Not entirely lying,
I'm not often late now that I'm on flexitime, but I did once 'phone in two hours after I was meant to start work.
"I'll be late in today. I'm having kidney problems".

The truth was I kidney be arsed getting out of bed.
(Thu 28th Jun 2007, 23:35, More)

» We have to talk

After we'd been through a bit of a rocky patch...
... my then-boyfriend told me that
"We, uh, need to talk".

My response was along the lines of
"No we don't, I'm already shagging someone else. Byeee"

Edit: Oooooh, 9th.
(Fri 20th Apr 2007, 10:01, More)

» My first love

Cheryl
From what I remember she was blonde and pretty. We were both 8 years old, and my parents hated her. They thought she was a stuck-up little bitch who was far too used to getting her own way. In the end it turned out that they were right. Cheryl used her feminine wiles to persuade me to steal the odd quid from my grandparents to buy her sweets and pop. She told me I was her favourite boyfriend ever. A few months down the line it all ended in disaster when she caught me playing Kerbie with a different girl one weekend. The 'lovely' Cheryl uttered a 'naughty word' in my general direction, thumped me in a most sensitive area, and ran home crying. She didn't even give me the chance to tell her it was my cousin I'd been playing with, because my parents had told me to 'play nice or else'. After all, I didn't want to be smacked on the backside with a shoe by my scary mother.

Anyway, traumatised by being beaten up by a girl, I could never completely trust a female again. I'm now happily living with a boyfriend and two cats. Yes, Cheryl turned me gay.
(Thu 20th Oct 2005, 12:39, More)

» Things you've done when you've had no money.

A couple of years ago
Having just gone through a hellish and financially crippling break-up, I sold my ex's (incredibly tragic) underwear on eBay.
(Fri 8th Oct 2004, 10:56, More)