This Grenfell Tower / Austerity image is pretty on the nose but powerful with it

This from Dr.Dunno / Chris Barker is pretty strong stuff and we hesitated sticking it out but you know, it’s true, provocative and frankly fuck it, it should be on posters in front of parliament.

Click to go larger

Chris entered his image into our elections challenge and we caught up with Chris and asked him about his artwork:

When I first heard the news I didn’t think this story was going to effect me as much as it has.

The emotions I’ve felt as a result of this surprised me.

The lack of care taken for the most vulnerable in our society.

I can’t put it into words really. That’s why I did a picture.

And the way the right wing press are going to deal with it upsets me. The blame being shifted around.

It’s pretty obvious what caused this tragedy. I’m not going to blame a faulty fridge.

51 things that make people go “no” when they see your profile pic

Profile pics on social media are how we project ourselves into the world, but we also silently judge others other quite trivial things.

Figured it would be interesting to do a bit of an anonymous survey on what are you “profile picture no nos”

We got about 350 replies and here’s 51 of the best.

1. A “Make America Great Again” hat

2. A car. Jeez.

3. A flag, a percentage, a crusader, something something something AND PROUD

4. A photo that’s been posed in a studio photo shoot, the worst kind is a woman lying on her front, chin on hands, feet visible in the background. Gah

5. A picture of your child

6. A professionally taken picture or caricature

7. Anime girls. No. You’re a bloke and you probably support GamerGate

8. Anonymous/ V mask

9. Any “wellness” shit meme

10. any face contortion in attempt to look sexy

11. Any hint that the photo is over 5 years old. This makes me think they’ve aged badly in recent years, or haven’t done anything interesting and photo-worthy since it was taken

12. Any middle-aged man sitting at a desk, looking like he’s taken the pic on a porn-break

13. Any selfie, particularly pouty or posing ones taken from high angles or in mirrors

14. Any temporary picture showing “solidarity” with a place they’ve never visited

15. Anyone who sticks their finger up / flicks the V at you in a photo, I mentally chuck into the “fuckwit” category, without a moments hesitation

16. Anything done professionally. Fuck off you twats

17. Anything military

18. Automatically hate anyone using that stupid dog filter

19. Babies. You’ve only accomplished what literally every organism on the planet is striving for. Have a fucking medal

20. Bare chest (men). Duck face (women)

21. Cars as profile pictures

22. Chest hair on display with men. What are you trying to prove? You sad wankers

23. Eggs

24. Face tattoo

25. Failed attempts to make the photo look spontaneous or unplanned

26. Fucking pet pictures in profile pics. Especially with cunts holding said pet.

27. Gratuitous pic with gf in a bikini

28. Grown adults who use characters from children’s films, particularly Disney stuff. Blocked on sight, no matter what they have to say

29. Having a cocktail by the seaside are you? Fack orf.

30. Looking like a tory

31. Looking like a vegan

32. Middle-aged people using Snapchat filters

33. Minions. Fucking minions

34. Nationalist symbolism; flags, poorly drawn graphics in paint etc

35. Non-ironic duck face from people older than me

36. Not their actual face

37. Pepe the frog

38. Picture of footballer/football club badge

39. Picture of the person in full leathers and helmet, riding a motorcycle, on a track day, going around a corner so the bike’s leant over a bit, so the rider looks “brave”. Guaranteed twat

40. Pictures of people having fun years ago and you’ve had loads of fun with them since and loads of pictures done but they keep that one up and don’t even talk to 5 of the people in it anymore, including themselves

41. Pictures of pets I’m jealous I don’t own

42. Pouting

43. Professional suit-wearing headshots. You can guarantee that the content of their feed is going to be corporate BS

44. Smoking

45. Snapchat filters and mirror selfies

46. Sunglasses indoors

47. The latest “do this arbitrary thing to your profile pic to somehow in some vague unspecified way raise awareness for an arbitrary cause”

48. Trying to look like a “hitman” in a cheap Burton’s menswear suit

49. UKIP purple

50. Wedding pics

51. White men with moustaches. Every other ethnicity does them without managing to look like a paedophile.

As the sad news about Adam West reaches us, feel free to pay tribute in our Ob3tuaries image challenge

“Adam West, star of the popular and campy 1960’s ‘Batman’ TV show, has died, according to his agent. West was 88” CNN report.

And if you’d like to pay tribute then our Ob3tuaries challenge is open.

Of course we ask you to have fun and remain respectful.


Image by tim1701


Image by Blugg


Image by HappyToast

Join in at Ob3tuaries

We’re also reminded of this post on Reddit:

“I live in the same valley as Adam West. I decided to look him up in the phone book” writes slapshotten11 over on Reddit.

Introducing the “Has Theresa May Resigned Yet?” bot

This morning Guardian journalist @Allyfogg asked, “Petitioning @robmanuel to make the HasTheresaResignedYet? bot. Possibly merged with @swearclock.”

So your B3ta editor got to work and here’s the tweets so far:

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5.

Follow @theresaresigned – NOW!

Lord Buckethead stood against Theresa May and his manifesto is the funniest thing you’ll read today

“Lord Buckethead” standing against Theresa May is British politics at its best

Lord Buckethead’s‘s manifesto has gone viral with over 15,000 retweets and likes and as @Scottbix over on Twitter says, “Oh my god Lord Buckethead’s political manifesto I’m screaming”.

MY 2017 MANIFESTO: Strong, not entirely stable, leadership

1. The abolition of the Lords (except me).

2. Full facial coverings to be kept legal, especially bucket-related headgear.

3. No third runway to be built at Heathrow: where we’re going we don’t need runways.

4. Ceefax to be brought back immediately, with The Oracle and other Teletext services to be rolled out by the next Parliament.

5. Regeneration of Nicholson’s Shopping Centre, Maidenhead.

6. Buckethead on Brexit: a referendum should be held about whether there should be a second referendum.

7. Nuclear weapons: A firm public commitment to build the £100bn renewal of the Trident weapons system, followed by an equally firm private commitment not to build it. They’re secret submarines, no one will ever know. It’s a win win.

8. Nationalisation of Adele: in order to maximise the efficient use of UK resources, the time is right for great British assets to be brought into public ownership for the common good. This is to be achieved through capital spending.

9. A moratorium until 2022 on whether Birmingham should be converted into a star base.

10. Legalisation of the hunting of fox-hunters.

11. New voting age limit of 16 to be introduced. New voting age limit of 80 to be introduced too.

12. Katie Hopkins to be banished to the Phantom Zone.

13. Stop selling arms to Saudi Arabia. Start buying lasers from Lord Buckethead.

14. Prospective MPs to live in the seat they wish to represent for at least five years before election, to improve local representation in Parliament.

15. Free bikes for everyone, to help combat obesity, traffic congestion and bike theft.

May’s face in this is wonderful:

Elmo was there too

And this is wonderful news

ALL HAIL LORD BUCKETHEAD, NOT THE HERO WE ASKED FOR BUT THE HERO WE NEED

Simply 16 tweets glorying in Theresa May’s personal disaster of calling an early election and blowing it

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16 anti-Tory election posters for you to share

We asked you to make anti-Tory election posters and wow did you deliver. Here’s 16 of the best – all with individual Facebook share links so you can share them to cause maximum trouble.

So get sharing!

1.


Share on Facebook – poster by Smallbrainfield.

2.


Share on Facebook – poster by Barbarossa.

3.


Share on Facebook – poster by HappyToast.

4.


Share on Facebook – poster by S4RK.

5.


Share on Facebook – poster by Tribs.

6.


Share on Facebook – poster by Wrecked Tums.

7.


Share on Facebook – poster by monkeon.

8.


Share on Facebook – poster by Barbarossa.

9.


Share on Facebook – poster by mikenco.

10.


Share on Facebook – poster by vbloke.

11.


Share on Facebook – poster by blugg.

12.


Share on Facebook – poster by MrDoucheBags.

13.


Share on Facebook – poster by S4RK.

14.


Share on Facebook – poster by Q4nobody.

15.


Share on Facebook – poster by S4RK.

16. And finally our title image, repeated so you can get the sharing link


Share on Facebook – poster by Bounder.

And images from our Anti-Tory Election Poster and Make Corbyn electable challenge.

Well done to everyone who took part and now let’s share those posters!

“Fake newsletter! Sad!”

This Week:

  • THERESA MAT BOT – Better than the real thing
  • SURVEY RESULTS – Why people unfriend on Facebook?
  • JOHN NOAKES – Photoshop tributes

    B3ta email 675 – 02 Jun 2017

    Read this issue to your mum, she’ll like it:
    http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue675

    Friend b3ta on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/b3tan


    : SPONSORED LINK
    HebTroCo – British Made To Last

    Proper Trousers, Boots and Belts made here out of proper stuff, Guaranteed for life.

    Ed and brant went to the pub and even though they had no previous experience, they somehow decided to start a trouser company. They launched on Kickstarter and sold 176 pairs of trousers in five hours. That was about a year and a bit ago, and they’ve now got British made boots and belts and lots of different trousers too.
    https://www.facebook.com/hebtroco
    http://www.hebtro.co

    BTW: These guys are old B3tans who’ve been reading the site for years. Have a look at their trousers. Go on.


    : THERESA MAY BOT 2.0

    So Theresa is hiding from the media and the public because she’s frankly not very good at public engagement and also needs to spend her time thinking about Brexit.

    So we thought we’d make a bot to speak FOR her. Any media outlets who need an interview then just get on Twitter and chat to her. Job done.
    https://twitter.com/theresa_may_bot


    : TRIVIAL REASONS FOR UNFRIENDING ON SOCIAL MEDIA
    A survey of you lot

    We asked you to tell us reasons you unfollowed people on social media. 250 of you answered and we picked the best.

  • “Seemed appropriate after the divorce”
  • “You won’t see this in the MSM, but..”
  • “They had a smug username”
  • “Having a harry potter themed wedding”
  • “Too many tweets about Porcupine Tree” Read them all:
    http://b3ta.com/blog/unfriending-people-for-trivial-reasons/


    : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
    Other than making sweet sweet linky love

  • DAVID ‘SALAD FINGERS’ FIRTH’S LATEST – it’s called ‘Cream’ and it’s great.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UgiJPnwtQU&

  • HOLLYWOOD MOVIES, IN A WEST COUNTRY ACCENT – DefyingDarwin writes, “Look at my shiny sweaty face… I have hayfever, I can’t go outside, I AM BORED… I found a list of movie quotes… I can do a passable west country accent: this is the sum of all those things!”
    http://b3ta.com/links/1442610

  • KERMODE AND MAYO TO DO THE CLASSIC B3TA QUO – DinivanX writes, “Yas! I Got Kermode and Mayo to Do the Classic B3ta Quo Pose”
    http://b3ta.com/links/1442391


    : LISTEN TO ASHENS PODCAST

    Old B3tan Ashen is now a super popular youtuber with 1.2 million subs. Wow. Anyway his latest project is a podcast. He writes, “There’s nothing more depressing than watching a bad sequel to a film you love. Allow the Sequelisers to alleviate your pain – it’s a fun podcast where two teams pitch ideas for fixing bad sequels to good movies.”
    https://www.sequelisers.com


    : ROGER MOORE GIF TRIBUTE

    This hearse doing a corkscrew jump is the animated gif tribute to Roger Moore you were waiting to see, such a short little thing but absolutely perfect – we’ve been watching it on a loop
    http://b3ta.com/blog/hearse-corkscrew-jump/


    : THREE B3TA PHOTOSHOPS TO REMEMBER JOHN NOAKES

  • The B3tans have been paying tribute to the sadly departed John Noakes and it’s making us emotional
    http://b3ta.com/blog/three-best-b3ta-photoshops-to-remember-john-noakes-by/


    : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEETELS DR PEPPER

  • 50 this week and old B3tan Chris Shaw has bee researching all the pics that made the ciover.
    http://sgtpepperphotos.wordpress.com #SgtPepper50

  • BONUS: Paul chats up a photographer at the Sgt Pepper launch party. Linda Eastman later became Mrs McCartney.
    https://twitter.com/ChrisShawEditor/status/870182112497987584


    : PLEASED TO GET A SHOUT OUT FROM TOM WATSON
    Deputy Leader of Labout calls b3ta “old”
    “Good old b3ta. Genius, as ever.” writes Tom Watson MP.
    https://twitter.com/tom_watson/status/869957969097535490


    : SITES IN BRIEF
    You know… links

  • STRONG HEADLINE WORK FROM @LRB – “Who’s the real cunt? by Andrew O’Hagan” – on The Daily Mail and Paul Dacre.
    https://www.lrb.co.uk/v39/n11/andrew-ohagan/whos-the-real-cunt

  • PICTURES OF OLD ROBOTS FROM THE 20s-30s, featuring pictures and video of old time robots, not in English but it doesn’t matter.
    https://www.ecofuture.cz/clanek/retro-pohled-do-dob-kdy-roboti-umeli-mluvit-kourit-nebo-hrat-golf

  • “BACK TAE THE FUTURE” – Back to the Future reimagined in Scottish.
    https://twitter.com/BackTaeTheToon

  • “TAINTED BUFFET AT JACKSONVILLE STRIP CLUB BLAMED AFTER SEVERE DIARRHEA INCIDENT ON STAGE” – our second headline of the week after the cunt one.
    http://www.borderherald.com/tainted-buffet-jacksonville-strip-club-blamed-severe-diarrhea-incident-stage/


    : QUESTION OF THE WEEK
    This week: Family Scandals
    What skeletons are there in your family’s collective cupboards? Asks enzyme. Tell us your shameful, scurrilous and generally regrettable family histories… for laughs
    http://b3ta.com/questions/Familyscandals


    : IMAGE CHALLENGE
    Anti Tory Election Posters

    Here’s the best images from last week:

  • TORY XP – Bigger version I done a load of anti-tory posters you can download and print here: www.toriesout.co.uk (spellingmistakescostlives)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11228006

  • PRETTY PLEASE – (HappyToast)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11228227

  • SCHLONG & MABEL – (Smallbrainfield)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11227975

  • See all the other images from the ‘Anti Tory Election Posters ‘ challenge:
    http://b3ta.com/challenge/antitory2017

    >> This week: 404 part 2 << We want you to come up with new ideas for the B3ta 404 (Page not found) message. We’ll take the best ones and use them on the site, so it’s your chance for a little bit of internet fame and immortality.
    http://b3ta.com/challenge/4042


    : SPONSORED LINK
    HebTroCo – British Made To Last

    Proper Trousers, Boots and Belts made here out of proper stuff, Guaranteed for life.

    Ed and brant went to the pub and even though they had no previous experience, they somehow decided to start a trouser company. They launched on Kickstarter and sold 176 pairs of trousers in five hours. That was about a year and a bit ago, and they’ve now got British made boots and belts and lots of different trousers too.
    https://www.facebook.com/hebtroco
    http://www.hebtro.co

    BTW: Yes we’re running the ad twice. Old B3tans. Click them please.


    Follow b3ta on Twitter:
    https://www.twitter.com/b3ta


    TOP TIP: IF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS DOING HIS ‘OH SO IMPORTANT’ GCSE COURSEWORK… – Access the autocorrect function in Word, and replace “Analysis” with “Anal Sex”. 9 times out of 10 they won’t notice until they’ve handed it in. (Furness)
    http://b3ta.com/questions/toptips


    REMEMBER: VOTE ON THURSDAY YOU CUNTS