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[challenge entry]
useless pun, shoddy rhytm, true story:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7973024/Man-blows-himself-up-trying-to-kill-a-spider.html

From the Limericks challenge. See all 147 entries (closed)

(funktrash soul = combustion engine, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:53, archived)
# Who thinks what?
WHO THINKS WHAT?!!
(__, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:54, archived)
# Thinks
Essex Innit?

(I don't know either)
(I helped save b3ta! Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:56, archived)
# "Essex" and "Thinks" are mutually exclusive, shirely?
/casual racism blog
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:59, archived)
# Casual racism is fine, it's that other kind that is bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:04, archived)
# smart racism?
Sunday Best racism? Done up to the nines racism?

;) Absolutely, I was going to write "causal colloquialist blog" but that isn't even a word.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:08, archived)
# Elementary animated gif that doesn't animate error 101
update: you have fixed it.

But I think there is more to that story than him trying to kill a spider with a can or aerosol, I think he was pratting about trying to burn it by lighting the spray and it backfired.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:56, archived)
# ...
A spokesman added: "We're not entirely sure whether the spider got away or not but there was no sign of it at the scene."
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:58, archived)
# They should have nuked it from space, it is the only way to be sure!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:00, archived)
# Is this the start of a Haiku?
In Essex, that daft
bunch who thinks that spiders will
fit down bathroom sinks
(benito vaselini no not that one, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:59, archived)
# Pffft
I heard a similar story at school: a man had been chastised by his wife for leaving the bog stinking, so while crapping he sprayed the bowl liberally with air freshener. Afterwards, he tapped out his pipe into the bowl, causing an explosion that not only shattered the toilet but left him with serious injuries. As he was being stretchered down the stairs, he explained to the paramedics how it had happened; one was laughing so hard they dropped him, adding a broken arm to his troubles.

/qotw blog
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 14:05, archived)