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[challenge entry] I'll probably have loads of people shouting at me for this but...


It's an outdated layout that has just been tacked onto and tacked onto, and would benefit from a wholesale strip back to something a lot cleaner, more functional, and fewer keys whose only purpose is to aCCIDENTALLY GET PRESSED AND THEN BUGGER UP WHAT YOU'RE WORKING ON.

See?

If the dairy industry can unilaterally decide to do away with the H in Yoghurt, then it can't be beyond the wit of man for keyboard manufacturers to agree on something a bit better than what we're saddled with.

A nod to an ages-old blog post from our ginger leader for some of this angst.

...and don't get me started on the wholesale export of the QWERTY layout onto 3G phones.

Grrr...

From the Crucial Design Flaws challenge. See all 138 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:45, archived)
# I love keyboard shortcuts, and the windows/start menu button is very useful.
You racist.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:47, archived)
# huh, that's nothing
you want to try typing with my bloody fingernails
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:52, archived)
# Why are they bloody?
Have you recently murdered someone?
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:00, archived)
# not recently, no
they're like talons. if i scratch an itch, they'll take the damn skin off me
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:00, archived)
# Learn to type, then.
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:52, archived)
# i Cna tpye prefelcty wlel thnka you.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:57, archived)
# Use the F1 key more often.....
It will tell you what the other F keys do!
(I helped save b3ta! tim1701 I have no board signature!!!!!, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:06, archived)
# Like our handy pal F6
That poor forgotten one that surprisingly few people ever use.
(Moophl, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 22:32, archived)
# arf
this is a very angry post.. have you considered publishing it in the Daily Mail?
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:53, archived)
# The mounting sense of impotent rage that developed in me as I was TOAPing it tempted me to do just that...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:54, archived)
# do you need a hug?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:56, archived)
# Nah I'm good now cheers.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:58, archived)
# oh, okay
*puts away hugging costume*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:01, archived)
# *needs to see pics of hugging costume*
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:27, archived)
# oh, i couldn't possibly photograph it
it's so splendid that any lens would instantly shatter if i should try.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:28, archived)
# Windows Logo+S is my fav.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 13:58, archived)
# had to check that
in case it shut everything down. But that is great. I wonder how many people actually use it?
(I helped save b3ta! Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:01, archived)
# I think it sums MS up perfectly.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:03, archived)
# one thing I do like
but only use it at work (and set up on other people's computers) is creating a short cut for something on the desktop and then adding my own keyboard short cut.
The idea was to stop the tech-averse minimising everything and opening a desktop icon...which they invariably still do.
(I helped save b3ta! Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:08, archived)
# What's wrong with minimising everything and clicking a desktop icon?
Surely that's quicker than letting go of the mouse and using a keyboard shortcut?
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:30, archived)
# pressing buttons where your hands already are
Surely that's quicker than letting go of the keyboard and using a mouse?

I think this comes down to personal use.
(crand _.-~stupid ascii thing~-._, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 13:17, archived)
# I much prefer At+F2 or even better Ctrl+Alt+F1-7
*Runs to hide in the geek basement*
Honestly - most used keys would be Home & End.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:52, archived)
# You are a filthy Linux-using pervert*, AICMFP.








*we know our own. Perverts unite.
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 12:56, archived)
#
"pause" button can pause the bios splash on most PC's, its handy when you are trying to read something and it flash's by too quickly.

(I helped save b3ta! Saner, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:00, archived)
# Does that work on BSOD?
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:01, archived)
#
No its for POST ( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power-on_self-test ), to stop automatically rebooting with BSOD's its something like (this is from memory, I dont use windows anymore)

My Computer - (Right Click) - Properties - Advance system setting - startup and recovery, untick "Automatically reboot"


Apologies for that taking so long, it kept going tits up when I used the greater than symbol :/



(I helped save b3ta! Saner, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:11, archived)
# < and > are your friends.
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:58, archived)
#
www.brainsystems.com/capsunlock/
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:13, archived)
# Yeah I've got that on my puter at home, but can't install it at work due to IT police...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:20, archived)
# I have a friend who uses a screwdriver to prise off the Insert and Caps Lock keys on every keyboard he owns
It saves a lot of time
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:16, archived)
# Hahaha good call.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:24, archived)
# I do that with windows keys
I've got a box full of them.
Insert is vaguely useful when programming if you want to, say, replace every other number in a massive string of numbers.
Pause is the key a lot of games use for the pause function.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 16:16, archived)
# i remove
the sleep keep. the other keys are no problem- generally i don't struggle to type but that sleep one is a mood killer
(crand _.-~stupid ascii thing~-._, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 13:25, archived)
# F11 = Full screen
pretty handy sometimes
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:29, archived)
# I like this post.
Why do they bother with the number pad at all? It just means that on most pull-out keyboard trays there's no room to put the mouse. It's especially bad on 'ergonomic' keyboards which are wider by design and therefore there's even less room to put the mouse in an ergonomic position!!!

ARE THEY THICK??

Also, I can see a use for 'Num lock', sort of, but what the goddamn blazes is 'Scroll lock for'?
(Meagrom, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:30, archived)
# Buy a wider desk.
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:59, archived)
# Years ago I worked in data entry
Some of the data was entered in lots of three-digit codes and, once you got used to it, the number pad could be used to enter them much more easily than the conventional number line.
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 15:41, archived)
# The numerical keypad is a godsend for any numbers.
(I helped save b3ta! tim1701 I have no board signature!!!!!, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 16:01, archived)
# Numlock for numbers...
Numlock is great for those of us with a right hand who type numbers. Easier to type out numbers without looking. And as Drunken Miss Ho says... anyone who has had that summer job doing "data entry" learns the speed advantage. I don't think I ever use the "normal" numbers.

[f2] is used to rename things. Very handy if you are too lazy to do it another way.

[f7] is self destruct.

[Print Screen] - snaps a screenshot to the clipboard.

Now find me a use for [Scroll Lock] outside of DOS. Or... come to think about it... [Alt Gr]. I want [Alt Gr] bound to something useful like "Make Coffee"
(I helped save b3ta! Batter Pudding Hurler is a figment of your imagination, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 17:04, archived)
# Scroll Lock?
Excel.
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 17:48, archived)
# Ahh....
I learnt something today... goes off and prints out the keys for Excel. Always thought it was a strange program with its own little ways.
(I helped save b3ta! Batter Pudding Hurler is a figment of your imagination, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 18:33, archived)
# Missed the AltGr thing.
In Windows it's bound to Ctrl+Alt. Compare AltGr+4 and Ctrl+Alt+4 - both should produce that ghastly Euro currency symbol.

However, it can be remapped. I've a mouldy old ThinkPad which doesn't have a Windows key... or does it?

This piece - www.annoyances.org/exec/forum/winxp/1051906940 - explains how to mess around with key assignments.
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 23:50, archived)
# The number pad is vital for Sid Meier games, Angband, and other turn-based games with grids.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 16:23, archived)
# SCROLL LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR ROGUE
EDIT: IT'S MY FUCKING B3TADAY!
(I helped save b3ta! Paster of Muppets is an incredible screen name, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 17:40, archived)
# Data entry or programing.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 8:59, archived)
#
I'm surprised you didn't mention the qwerty character layout, certainly the most outdated thing there.
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 15:13, archived)
# Make up your own keyboard layout.
I have one of these: www.daskeyboard.com/model-s-ultimate/

I tried learning Dvorak, but without much success so far. QWERTY's just so ingrained after 30 years of use that it's really difficult to switch.
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 15:20, archived)
# Oh that looks nice
I was pretty happy to read "Das Keyboard compares to the legendary IBM Model M". I always thought modern keyboards are crap compared to the early IBM ones. I bought a Lenovo, while it's better than the ubiquitous mushy keys, I thought I was alone in thinking keyboards used to be much better.
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 15:35, archived)
# It's a nice keyboard.
But it's really bloody noisy.
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 17:49, archived)
# I did refer to it in the context of its being transferred over to mobile phones.
Why you'd have a key layout based around an intuitive autocomplete system that puts so may letters used in similar context so close to each other escapes me.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 15:43, archived)