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Home » Messageboard » What I found in my Kinder Egg » Message 1616843

[challenge entry] mommy, mine smells funny
sorry this is real dumb

From the What I found in my Kinder Egg challenge. See all 440 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Paintmash, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:23, archived)
# beth gibbons
has a nice scalp
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:25, archived)
# i'm going to regret asking this
but how do you know?
(martian, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:28, archived)
# massage
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:30, archived)
# correct
only a short one though :(
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:32, archived)
# yaaaay newsletter!
but where's the competition results?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:31, archived)
# yay! bad jokey!
This man walks into an agents office and says, "I want to be
a movie-star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had all
the right credentials. The agent asked, "What's your name?" The guy said,
"My name is Penis Van Lesbian." The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you,
but in order to get into Hollywood, you are gonna have to change your
name." "I will NOT change my name"! The Van Lesbian name is centuries old,
I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever! "The
agent said ,"Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years..... you will NEVER
go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis Van Lesbian!! I'm telling you,
you will HAVE TO change your name, or I will not be able to represent
you." "So be it!! I guess, we will not do business together", the guy
said....and he left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is
awestruck....who would possibly send him $50,000?? He reads the letter
enclosed......


"Dear Sir,

Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in
Hollywood. You told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it
with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it
in Hollywood with a name like Penis Van Lesbian. After I left your office,
I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change
my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with
another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the
enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.

Sincerely,


Dick Van Dyke
(el_pollo_diablo, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:33, archived)
# .
Jamaica?
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:35, archived)
# shit in her cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:35, archived)
# two in the front
two in the back.
(martian, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:38, archived)
# in case you're wondering
that's the punchline to "how many elephants can you fit in a mini?". but it just struck me that potentially it's the funniest of the punchlines we wheel out in long strings, ad tedium.
(martian, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:39, archived)
# i thought
it was some kind of reference to DVDA
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:40, archived)
# nope.
therein lies the humour.
(martian, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:43, archived)
# or maybe a
4CG
(Marvellous (mb) Mark, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:43, archived)
# So......price of fish?
(m4tt, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:41, archived)
# three from the top, please carol.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:39, archived)
# How do you get four dicks in the
Bijani twins?
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:40, archived)
# first thing
thats made me laugh in an uncontolled way all week.

well done sir! i salute you.

[edit]i am still giggling 5 minutes later.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:42, archived)
# I should make a web site
with new jokes for old punchlines.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:45, archived)
# yes, you should do that.
(martian, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:46, archived)
# indeed you should sir.
i would then laugh harder.

make them offensive as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:46, archived)
# i like the idea that baz would need to be told
to make his jokes offensive.
(martian, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:46, archived)
# you
bad
man.
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:42, archived)
# any
colour I like.
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:40, archived)
# What? What what what?
I don't get it? Why was he called Penis Van Lesbian? That's a stupid name.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 18 Jul 2003, 16:35, archived)