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[challenge entry] With apologies to Bristol Uni

From the Bad Books for Kids challenge. See all 462 entries (closed)

(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:02, archived)
# Type 1 aka Maltesers
:)
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:03, archived)
# Today, I laid a type 3.
Maybe I need more fruit in my diet.

any questions?
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:04, archived)
# You are dehydrated.
That's not really a question, but anyway.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:05, archived)
# Really?
So the more water you drink the moister the poop you'll make?

interesting
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# Nah
The more fibre you eat, the firmer they get.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# So wait, If I eat a lot of fruit
my poop will veer towards the type 1's?
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)
# I think this calls for
An Experiment!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# you need more b3ta.
nothing keeps you as regular and firm as b3ta.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# sometimes I can manage about 3 different types in one go!
hmmm.... must remember to invent that playdough accessory for the sphincter that makes it come out in different shapes
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:04, archived)
# They could fit over the toilet seat in a big grid
So you'd just have to prop yourself over the hole of the shape you want to make.

Once people get over the mess, you might be onto a winner
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)
# You want piping bag nozzles
They'll do it.

I'd have thought.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)
# it's been done
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# *googles*
*realises that not really the sort of thing to google at work*

*gets the sack*

*lives on streets giving out bj's to tramps*

*finds treasure map*

*realises map is a hoax*

*dies*




*gets resurrected*

*wealthy dowager pities me and nurses me back to health*

*gets old job back*
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# ah
the circle of life
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:13, archived)
# a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way
a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:15, archived)
# *sobs*
i love a happy ending!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:14, archived)
# someone has already made them
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# Most days I start with a 3
and move through a 6 into a 7
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# You forgot
the horrible, tarry, yellow/black godawful-smelling mess they do for pooh #1

*gags at the memory*
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:05, archived)
# Yay for having a baby in special care,
The nurses did it for us!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)
# Yay and awwwww!
You didn't miss out =o]
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)
# hopefully will get the chore for number 2!
5 weeks and counting
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# *gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees*
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# number 2 number 2?
I must say after #1 I had no problem changing ANY nappy... apart from one where she'd obviously had a dodgy gut and it leaked... and I mean *leaked*... everywhere... while visiting a friend in hospital... with no spare clothes. Ever seen a 10-month old in an adult-size surgery cloak?
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)
# my son was sat on my lap
when he done his first poo

i thought he'd exploded!


he had a nappy on
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# Haha
Gross
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# it was
he wasn't bothered though
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:13, archived)
# I have never had fluffy poo.
Apart from that time once when I ate Bungle.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:05, archived)
# office lol
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# really?
I have them most days...um


/too much information blog
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# Eat more curry
For 6 and 7
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# haha 2 words..
BUNGLES THUMB!!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# I prefer
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)
# haha thats great!
But you can't beat filling an old spray bottle with Sarsons and without being spotted, spraying it liberally around a heaving pub/club. Genius*
*requires abnormal sense of humour to understand.
Edit: it might be worth pointing out the humour part is seeing the 'christ what the fuck is that hideous smell' reaction of the patrons when they smell the stuff. It absolutely reeks.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:15, archived)
# Cor
I live about 1/2 a mile away from a vinegar factory. It absolutely reeks.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:25, archived)
# GRAFTGOLD!!
:)
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)
# hahahahahahahahahahahaha
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:17, archived)
# mine was in the hospital cot and everytime i cleaned her up and got read to
put a nappy on her more would ooze out!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# and i replied to the wrong post!!!
*smacks head on desk*
*lies in an ever increasing pool of blood*
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:16, archived)
# mine was in the hospital cot and everytime i cleaned her up and got read to
put a nappy on her more would ooze out!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# dammit!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:14, archived)
# seems i
can still laugh at you!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:18, archived)
# just you wait!!!
it'll happen to you!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:20, archived)
# *patches head*
aha nuttah!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:18, archived)
# *sobs*
damn work!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:20, archived)
# Type 8: Like leaf mulch blasted through a riot hose
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)
# hahahahahahahahaha
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# CAT!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)
# Copyright Alas Smith & Jones Instant Coffeetable Book
circa. 1984
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)
# really?
You'll have to forgive me. I was 6 years old, if that...
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# heh
Yes, it's all been done before...

How rude of me - have a Woo!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)
# Cat?
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)
# I'd be really worried
If I looked down the loo and found I had shat one of them.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# Oh
Just noticed that. That's abstractly amusing!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# Type 8
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)
# won't everyone's first 1000 turds
be type 7s?
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)
# Number 14 - the deceiver
A huge fart followed by a couple of clinkers
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:18, archived)
# Hurrah!
(, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)