I went to the butcher's the other day and ordered that leg of lamb. Well, I've known Jack Harris for years. But when I asked for the leg of lamb, he gave me this strange look, and I thought: That's strange! Jack Harris giving me a strange look. I mean, we're not strangers, but he gave me this strange look. But I thought nothing of it. And he went to the back of the shop where he keeps the lamb and come back. Well, there was nothing odd about that. That's what he usually does. But when he handed the lamb over, he gave me this strange look again. So I looked at the leg of lamb, and he'd given me a bunch of six carrots. Well, it's not like Jack to give you six carrots instead of a leg of lamb, because he's never specialised in vegetables as a butcher. But I paid my seven pounds and thought nothing of it. But on the way home, I ran into Mrs Kretch from Number 4 and told her about the carrots. She said: 'That's strange, because I was in Jack Harris's shop yesterday and ordered some best mince. Well, he gave me this strange look. And when he came back with the mince, it wasn't in a plastic bag like normal. He gave me this box. All wrapped up in silver paper with a pink ribbon around it. Well I thought nothing of it. But when I got home and opened it up, I found three twigs. Well, it's not like Jack to give you twigs instead of mince. And Hermes - that's my cat - is not a big twig-eater. Anyway I - I turned round and called Hermes, and it wasn't there. I haven't seen him since. I reckon he knew, about the twigs...'
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Thu 14 Feb 2008, 21:40,
archived)