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[challenge entry] Modernise now!

From the New Ways To Deliver The Mail challenge. See all 239 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:49, archived)
# Hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:54, archived)
# Hahaha!
Fun and functional!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:59, archived)
# *sees what you did there*
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:59, archived)
# Once I'd posted it I realised I should have typed
"it puts the fun in functional" but I couldn't be arsed to change it :O)
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:43, archived)
#
Modernisation today seems mostly to consist of getting people from eastern european countries to do the same job and then pay for the UK national to go on benefits.
(I helped save b3ta! SoBadItsGood Its only a crime if you earn <£100000, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:01, archived)
# Restructuring is another common phrase
at our place that meant, halving the workforce of certain departments, and making the remaining staff do twice as much work for the same money
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:07, archived)
# Modernisation means paying consultants to tell you how to do things faster, easier and more efficiently
and then making whatever it is TEN TIMES AS FUCKING EXPENSIVE

then realising that it's not being done faster/easier/more efficiently at all

then paying consultants to find out why it's not working

answer: BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL TWATS

/ranty luddite blog
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:11, archived)
#
ha ha too true - usually involves putting in some diabolical IT system.

We had that - its nothing but a glorified version of windows explorer! when our CV database was set up, it didnt' even have a search function! you had to fricken browse!

(I helped save b3ta! SoBadItsGood Its only a crime if you earn <£100000, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:15, archived)
# Let me guess
Were the people who were actually going to use the system consulted, or involved at all? Or were you just given it and told to use it?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:17, archived)
# ha - the other side of the coin
When I worked for the big red X company, they had a ridiculous system whereby project managers entered certain bits of information into Excel, printed it off, then gave it to my team to enter into our processing tool - which I reckoned was a pretty roundabout way of doing it, so I wrote some scripts to pull the stuff out of Excel and run our tool automatically overnight/whenever.

My boss told me I ought to get the systems department to release my scripts (written in Tcl/Tk - we got lumbered with it by some legacy software someone had written years before). So I asked them.

"Oh, you shouldn't be doing that, you don't work in systems"
"No, I know, but I've written it cos the current process is bollocks. I've tested it and it's really not a very complicated process"
"Well, if there's an improvement to be made, our developers will do it"
"Right - do we have any Tcl/Tk developers?"
"No...oh wait, we have one guy in another office"
"Right, can you ask him to look at my code and check it's ok?"
"Ok"
--- 3 months later ---
"He says he's too busy to do it"

Luckily my whole team had been using it anyway, which saved us a lot of time. Moral is, if you want it done, do it yourself, cos no-one else cares.

/ranty geek blog
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:31, archived)