Many years ago I was returning to the homestead after a classic Friday night in The City.
Cab hailed and an uneventful journey back to Camberwell save for the odd 5 minutes of sleep was the order of the night.

Whilst standing paying for the cab I let out a cheeky fart not expecting the litre of hot liquid shart that was now in my suit trousers.

Luckily for me there is a super loo on Camberwell Green so I very gingerly and very straight legged walk the short distance to the convenience and pays my 20p. The door opens to my great relief so I go in and sit down surveying the devastation that needs cleaning before the short walk home.

2 handfuls of paper, which cleans next to nothing, was the only available paper before the dispenser gives up the ghost. I then spend ages balling up newspaper and trying to finish the job off when I am timed out and the DOOR OPENS.

I hastily pull up my trousers and walk home with the cold wet matter touching my arse and legs. Walk straight into the bathroom and get immediately in the shower.

I did manage to have the last laugh as my flatmate went to the dry cleaner the next day and took my balled up suit in a plastic bag on my behalf. However the next day when he picked up our clean dry cleaning he was told in no uncertain terms that he wasn't welcome in that shop ever again.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 9:17, 4 replies)

Typical Stunned!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Jun 2015, 10:27, closed)