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This is a question Airport Stories

Back when I was a moody teenager I took a cheap flight that involved changing planes and having to go through security again. My bags were pre-checked so, when I set off the metal detector, I honestly said to the security guy that I had no idea what had set it off.

Until, that is, he searched me and found the metal knife and fork stamped "KLM" I'd nicked off the previous flight.

Tell us your best airport stories.

(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 10:09)
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Got to love customs
Just over a year ago, I was in Albania, (it's where Mr Helpermonkey is from) as we'd been sorting out the neccessary red tape at the British Embassy for us to get married back home in Blighty. As soon as the word got out that we were off to the UK, up turn all the people wanting gifts taken over to obscure friends and relatives in the UK. Quite clearly our bags are over the weight limit.

Having finally convinced the security guard at the door of Mother Teresa airport that we were indeed travelling, and that we did have tickets and passports, we made our way to the Alitalia check-in, where the bloke confirmed our bags were over the limit, and went off to get his supervisor. I hissed at Mr Helpermonkey: "Just slip yer man some Euros, this is Albania, land of the bent and corrupt, he's bound to let us off." No, we get the only ethically sound worker in the whole bloody airport, and we have to pay full whack.

We had to change at Rome, and because we'd come in from Albania, we had to enter the terminal round the back through a secret door and were subjected to an extra security check and almost missed our connection, as we got to main security just after a flight from Tokyo.

When we finally landed at Heathrow, I managed to bite my tongue as the immigration bitch tried to trick Mr H over the terms and conditions of his visa.

Muttering under my breath, I led the way through the green channel at customs, only to hear: "Excuse me sir, step over here please" Fucksocks, Mr Helpermonkey has been pulled over. I dash back and get: "Are you travelling together, madam?" Jobsworth starts looking through our stuff and asks where we've come from. "Albania via Rome" I fume, and then he asks me: "Did you buy any electrical items while you were over there?" WTF?!? I finally lost my rag.

"This is Albania we're talking about mate, would you buy anything electrical over there?" Twunt zipped our suitcases back up and wished us a pleasant onward journey!!

Apologies for length/girth. You've had better anyway.
(, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 21:51, Reply)

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