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This is a question Bastard Colleagues

You've all known one. The brown-nosing fucker, the 'comedian', the drunk, the gossip and of course the weird one with no mates who goes bell ringing, looks like Mr Majika and sports a monk's haircut (and is a woman).

Tell us about yours...

Thanks to Deskbound for the idea

(, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 9:09)
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3CG and Triple D
Once upon a time I was a Senior Account Manager for the business division of a telecom company.

The job was stressful and it since we were working through a contractor, the pay was literally 1/4 of the industry standard for business account managers.

as if the stress and shite pay wasn't enough, I also had some of the worst coworkers. EVER.

Allow me to set the scene. Everyone else in that department got to sit out in the cubicle farm. I was put on a special project and moved to a room in the back. The room was about the size of a prison cell, and had 7 stations in along the walls. The room was crowded and the asshole who sat at the desk at the wall perpendicular to my desk was a grade A royal ASSHOLE. He was at least 6'2" and weighed 275. He would lean back in his chair so it would smash me into my desk. He listened to shit AM talk radio everyday. without headphones. It was crazy right-wing "Christian" programming, Like Bill O'Reily and Glenn Beck. Everyday, 8+ hours a day, we were all subjected to Dr. Laura and Glen Beck going on and on about how blacks and gays are going to hell. There were two black girls and I'm a lesbian. We complained SEVERAL times to management, but nothing ever came of it. We dubbed him 3CG- Crazy Conservative Christian Guy.

As if listening to twats talking utter bullshit all day wasn't bad enough, one day his wife served him divorce papers AND a restraining order... at work. We all got a good kick out of it- until we saw how utterly CRAZY this made the guy. The AM radio was gone, only to be replaced with him spending every hour on the phone with lawyers, judges, police, and his sister. He would say crazy things to us out of the blue. He told us several times that he wants his soon to be ex wife to die in some horrible way, then show the pictures of her dead body to their 3 year old daughter.

Again, complaints lodged with HR and management, only to be told we should be more sensitive since he's going through a hard time. Oh, and since he didn't do any actual work I had to pick up his accounts.

The final straw with 3CG? Striped socks. One day a girl wore striped socks and we were all taking the piss on her, giggling and whatnot. Next thing we know he slams down the phone and bellows "OH GREAT. NOW I'M NOT GOING TO SEE MY DAUGHTER BECAUSE THE JUDGE HEARD YOU GUYS LAUGHING IN THE BACKGROUND!!!". someone says "whoa easy, don't go postal on us"... to which he replies, in the flattest, creepiest tone I've ever heard emerge from a human "oh, I won't go postal. you'll die God's way. I'll just be there to take pictures of your bodies."

It was at that point we refused to go into that room with him and threatened to take legal action if management didn't do anything. Their solution to this problem? Move him to the cubicle row 3 feet from the entrance to our room.

And lastly I have Demented Dyke Director. Triple-D. As the name says, she was my director. My supervisor's supervisor's Supervisor. As a strange twist of fate, or punishment for possibly being Hitler in a past life, it just so happened she started dating my best friend after I started working there. Imagine the surprise you have when you and your best friend finally deduct she's sleeping with your boss. And your Boss finding out her taboo relationship is with one of her underling's best friend.

Needless to say I didn't blab about it, and everything was ok until the inevitable happened- they broke up. My director went apeshit on my friend and threatened to kill herself all the time and spit on her. Then she started busting my ass at work... and told my friend she was going to fire me if they didn't get back together.

The icing on the cake was last January when my grandpa died. I was gone from work for a week, as I had to go out of state for the funeral. When I got back home and turned on my phone it started going off with texts from my friend pissed off because my director told her I told everyone about their relationship. I asked how I could have done that when I hadn't even been at work for week, but she never replied.

In fact, my friend (i use the term loosely) only recently started talking to me again, almost a year later.

Thankfully I found a job that paid 3 times more, with a FRACTION of the responsibility.

My only hope is one day 3CG snaps and mows down the entire place.



AK47 in one hand, Polaroid in the other.
(, Sun 27 Jan 2008, 9:48, Reply)

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