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This is a question Body Mods

This week we hand the honours over to DippyFi, who asks:

"Got your girlfriend stuck on your Prince Albert? Had an argument with your tattoo artist mid-tattoo? Piercing mysteriously dissolved the cartilege in your ear? Or worse: decided to pierce yourself while you were drunk? Go on, I wanna hear all the gory details!"

The closest I've got to body piercing was when a friend stuck a sodding gardening fork through my right hand. It wasn't a good look to be honest.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:02)
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This question is now closed.

Vibrating Loz got us to post this because they'd lost their login details:
One day when I was about 17 there was a group of us sitting round drinking frosty jaks (good old days) when somehow we got it into our heads that piercing my nipple would be a good idea. So off someone pops to town to a shop where you can get them piercing needles.
Carry on drinking thinking "i am pissed this wont hurt".
Friend got back. Bit of ice on the nipple to numb it. "should be fine". So in goes the needle "owwww F*ck" needle is about 1 cm in. try to move it, no joy. By this time i am screaming. "Really should have drank more!" In the end the pain was that bad and all being young and stupid someone rang a ambulance!
A while later 2 blokes walk in and have to escort me to the ambulance. End up down A&E with my tits hanging out cuz i couldnt actually bear the pain of anything touching them. Y do people feel the need to stare at stupid people? I ended up having to have about 5 needles stuck in my nipple to numb it so they could pull it out.
Oh how my mates ripped me! I still aint really lived it down!
A while later i went and got little miss naughty tattooed on my boob. I will never learn!
(, Fri 8 Dec 2006, 9:38, Reply)
Chucking it in...
Here's my two-penny worth...

I've got a pierced eyebrow. It's only a small one, I think it's quite subtle.

Anyway, I (like everyone else with a facial piercing) have been the subject of "were you shot by a mouse with a crossbow?" (and other crap jokes) - and do you know what?

I don't care. I actually tend to laugh it off. If you let stuff like that eat you up, then you seriously run the risk of becoming an emo-kid and you'll eventually start writing songs about what it's like to be lonely. Besides, if it comes from family members it's probably meant with the best intention, and if it comes from a pissed guy in the pub - it's because he's a pissed guy in the pub and has nothing better to do than point out your facial jewellery.

Erm... On topic story? The wings on the dragon I've got on my back are 2 inches larger than I intended becuase the artist slipped. Not funny, but true.
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 10:12, Reply)
I am black
And I have my eyebrow pierced with a wheelchair. You wouldn't believe the funny looks I get - and I can't wear a motorcycle helmet to save my life! I just got bored with the standard spikes, balls and pins. My scrote is pierced with a traffic bollard!
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 10:08, Reply)
Tat's n stuff
i have a couple of Tats, one done in sunny Norwich (Ber street) and the other - following my "Round the world beginning with N theme" - New York City.

Loved em, and would love another as i find them very addicitive. Not sure what i want, and off to miami in 4 days time so i must MUST avoid temptation.

Whilst waiting the obligatory 24 hours for the appointment in the UK, i had to get SOMETHING done, so got an extra 2 ear piercings a it was an instant fix. Must stasify needs to modify......

... well. thats not the story. My friend, lets call him Mad Martin had a fixation with another of our friends, Fit Vicki. and yes - extremely fit and a willing and able bedroom participant. she was an excellent choice of bridesmaid for me and mrs van der trance.

Martin got a tat done, a full back standing angel with wings, took 4 sittings of a couple of hours each and costed an unearthly sum even via a mates tat shop.

When he showed us, we first thought, yes its amazing. Then we looked closer and the face and breasts were definitely Vickis. How we laughed. Vicki was a little scared when we told her, and her now husband was a little unimpressed to say the least.

There is definitley a one way unrequited love, and now it is etched onto his psyche and body for all to see.

This in someway explains why for 4 years if she looked out of her window at 6am, he would cheerily wave back. He always said walking his dog - but his dog just doesn't do cold dark mornings. The things we do for love.
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 10:08, Reply)
2nd moral
I’m all for people making themselves more visible and noticeable. It must give them real empathy with people who are born that way or who end up that way through no fault of their own.

If you are sick of people commenting on your visible body art, imagine how ‘boring’ it must be to be on the end of a racist joke or for people to shrink from your wheelchair. If I was black and in a wheelchair, I’d pierce my face and dye my hair pale blue…at least then comments would be about something I had chosen.

If you can’t take the ribbing, get rid of the metalwork.
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 10:04, Reply)
missing the point
Its not the attention I get annoyed with, just the fact that everyone thinks they're a ruddy comedian and that they're the first people on the planet to have thought of that joke.

I don't mind people commenting on it, like, 'hey that looks quite cool' or even 'that makes you look like a cunt', just don't try to make up jokes about it - we've heard them all before.
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 10:03, Reply)
The moral of the story being ...
Don't have visible tats and preposterous bits of metal stuck in your face if you don't want comments/attention. Am I alone on this or am I taking crazy pills?
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 9:34, Reply)
What does it farking look like??
I've got a one inch metal spike through my eyebrow...

If I had a quid for every time a pissed up local in a bar said any of the 5 default phrases (e.g. blimey, did you have an accident wiv a nail-gun? whilst guffawing, thinking he was the first cunt to have EVER said it) - I'd have enough money for a real nail-gun and enough nails to crucify the unfunny fucktards to the floor of the bar.

And another thing... When you see people with a piercing other than a ring/stud - IT'S JUST A DIFFERENT TYPE OF PEIRCING JEWELLERY. Please don't don't just stand there saying "Wossat??" whilst pointing at it like a mong child who's just seen two dogs fucking in the park for the first time.

Oh, and also... OF COURSE IT FUCKING HURT. I'm not that Bond baddie who lost his sense of pain. What do you think it feels like to have a big spike pushed through your face???

Ahhh, there's 7 years worth of frustration relieved...

Seriously though, if you see someone with an 'interesting' piercing, think of the funniest thing you can say, then don't say it. We've heard it a million times already, and it wasn't even funny the first time.

Apologies for length, but at least there's a big piece of metal through it
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 9:25, Reply)
Poor tattoos
I myself have 2 tats but this story is not about me. An old acquaintance of mine back in the early 80s was a bit of a rockabilly, he had a tattoo of his idol, Gene Vincent, done on his upper arm. When he proudly showed us the result, we all noticed that his version of Gene Vincent looked a bit like Rolf Harris, and there was much mirth and hilarity. To give him his dues though, he went back to the tattoo parlour and got them to add a beard and glasses to complete the ensemble.
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 9:01, Reply)
Blood among other things
I worked in tattoo shopsfor over 6 years as a receptionist and a piercer...
I once gave am man a PA and as I stuck piercing needle though his most sensitive man bits, he managed to ejaculate while soft all a mix of blood and seman all over my designer jeans. Cue cursing on my part and chasing said client out of shop.

and speaking of length and girth, check out the beautiful colorful cock I'm packing...

(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 8:35, Reply)
I'm a wimp.
I don't have any tattoos or piercings. I'm a girl, and I don't even have my ears pierced. I'm such a wimp that I went to get blood drawn and fainted.

However, I would absolutely love to design a tattoo for someone. I'll even do it for free. Anybody interested? Check out my work here, and send me an email if you are. laurenuhler.com
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 7:08, Reply)
Hallucinogens, they're so funny.
Had my nose pierced after taking acid and ecstacy. I swear I saw the rainbow bounce over the horizon before it smashed me in the face.
I wouldn't recommend it.
(, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 6:57, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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