I was a bit straight-laced as a teenager
In fact when this happened I was 18 but didn't even really drink. My idea of a good night out was to take my car that I'd finally been able to buy the day before out for a drive with my mate Chris. Well, we're trundling through scenic Brentwood when Chris asks 'is there somewhere we can stop for a puff?' and rattles his tin at me. I pull into a little car park and we walk into the little copse, sit on a bench and start chatting while he skins up - I didn't smoke but I was happy to let others do it.
Then the rozzers pull into the car park and start looking very closely at my pride and joy. Normally we'd have kept silent, but having only just bought the car and sent the log book off that day, I was worried that if they did a check on it it would come up as unregistered and there'd be all sorts of trouble.
So I trot out of the wood, my head full of teenage certainties like, Chris has got the tin with him, and the Police are bound by the rules of reasonable suspicion. "Is everything OK, officers?" I ask. We go through the usual rigmarole, is this your car, yes but I only bought it yesterday, I have the receipt, etc etc. Then this big bad bastard of a copper looks me in the eye and says "where are the drugs?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Where are the drugs, sonny?"
"There aren't any drugs, officer, I don't do them. And I think it's a bit stereotypical of you to assume that just because I'm a young man out taking some air in the evening, there must be drugs involved."
"Well you won't mind if we have a look in your car then, sir."
Of course I didn't, knowing that Chris definitely, absolutely had his tin with him, hidden in the copse. I reach to get the plipper from my pocket to unlock the car and... Chris comes trotting out of the forest saying "...er, actually..." Turns out he'd only taken a few select bits and pieces with him, and the majority of his stash was still in the car.
So he got dragged down the station for an official caution, and I was left a bit red-faced, my righteous indignation having been caught for the bullshit it was. I was also informed by the officer that "if you have two blokes in a wood after dark, they're either gay or smoking something," which was news to me, but it makes me realise I could have gotten away with it just by offering him a kiss...

Oh and from experience I can tell you the Police are definitely, definitely NOT fans of the ancient and noble sport of jousting. At least not when it's being played at midnight in a local car park using shopping trolleys.
(theunknownanorak, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 12:28, Reply)