Zorro!
Ever since Viz came up with the definition of "to zorro" (i.e. to skilfully flick your cock from side to side at the moment of spaffing, as you would yield a rapier, to stripe your jizz across the tits in the style of an accomplished swordsman) Mrs Biscuit has been challenging me to zorro her norks.

Apparently she's got little estimation for the amount of self-control that men can still have at the moment of coughing one's filthy custard.

So anyway, last weekend I eschewed the delights of spaffing in her gob in favour of zorroing her tits.

And the results were fabulous.

At least for me.

But rather than massaging the cum into her skin like a porn star she scuttled off sharpish to the bathroom, leaving me to revel in my victory. I reckon she made the mistake of putting the shower on hot, causing the sement to crystallise like cumcrete. She was itching at her tits the whole day long trying to get the crust off.

I haven't been invited to fuck her since. No idea why...
(airbiscuit last dropped a meaty one in the lift on, Tue 11 May 2010, 9:36, 8 replies)

Sir
I admire your deft swordsmanship, you are verily a silver tongued charmer.
(Barnetboy, Tue 11 May 2010, 9:51, closed)

Send this to Readers Digest for their "Life's like that" section :D
although they might have gone bust
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 11 May 2010, 9:52, closed)

I prefer the Danny Dyer / Zoo Magazine approach,
using an actual sword to mark the slag as mine.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 11 May 2010, 10:58, closed)

Did
you manage to describe the perfect Z?
(JohntheDane, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:22, closed)

How could it possibly solidify
whilst under a jet of water?

Something's not right here.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Tue 11 May 2010, 16:51, closed)

Cumcrete
Not all of it did, but using cold water is the best way to get rid of manfat from the skin. Hot water somehow is a recipe for disaster.

Try it yourself - for best (worst) results spaff over your own hairy chest and see what happens when hot water is involved.
(airbiscuit last dropped a meaty one in the lift on, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:38, closed)

Science time
Protein denatures and coagulates when heated. You know how egg white goes solid and opaque when you cook it? Same principle.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Wed 12 May 2010, 1:07, closed)

bwahahaha!
you had me at 'coughing one's filthy custard'
(Don't tell him Pike i'll probably just stay in, Tue 11 May 2010, 22:27, closed)