*wavy lines*
Me and my ex-mate who we shall call Stephen (or Stevo as he became known) used to be good friends up until the age of 11. But like most friendships we kind of grew apart over time and made new friends. The fact that Stephen started smoking at the age of 12 didn't help.

Anyway seen as how we were the only two kids our age in the village were we lived we still hung around together during the summer till we were 15 as there was nothing else to do. Then he got friends with cars and I got left behind.

So it was one of those endless hot summer days and we walked down to a field full of cows.

"Come on Steve, let's go somewhere else. I'm bored." I turned to walk up the hill but he didn't follow. I'd noticeably seen him change over the years, becoming less responsive and increasingly drugged up.

"Hang on a sec." He reached into his pocket and pulled out some pills.

Ah shit not again. He was okay sober but tripping Steve was not fun to be around. "You're taking again?!"

"No." he said. He then nodded towards, what I maintain is the biggest cow I've ever seen in my life. "he is."

Shit. Not good. I tried to talk him out of it. I told them that they would have no effect on something that size. He told me that they were super strength MDMA. He emptied the WHOLE packet into some hay on the ground and fed it to him.

So we waited. transfixed. Needless to say nothing happened for at least half an hour. I felt my point proved I could gloat. Mistake. Steve was pissed off that he'd just but £40 worth of drugs into a cow and I wasn't helping. As he was about to punch me the cow began to freak. Spinning and looking around. I think my life (or at least my unbroken nose) may have been saved by a drugged up cow.

Sure enough it started tripping. Head butting, charging and biting the other cows. It tried breaking the fence. I was quite happy to run away but Steve stood taunting it! It calmed after a while and then started trying to mate with anything, including the other males.

After an hour of this it stopped and fell straight on it's side. It would have been comical if I didn't think I'd just killed Farmer X's prize cow.

We wandered up, very slowly and poked it with a stick. Alive, phew. It was having one huge comedown. Unfortunately I don't think Steve learned anything. But I did. Don't hang around with Steve.

Bull-E's are bad. Don't do it kids.
(Ginger_Whinger got in the newsletter!! =D, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:02, 1 reply)

ace!

(fawning sycophant, Tue 19 May 2009, 13:11, closed)