Awfully rude
Cue wavy lines, cue harp music -- we're going back in time, woo woo, to an era when I was only a wee junior Cabbage in final year at primary school -- so I and my friends would have been around ten years old, eleven at most.

Now this was a time before the Internet, be it noted. Not for us the joys of being able to access pinpoint quality photos and high quality streaming video of felching and grannybagging online. We were old enough to snigger like the little beasts we were at the Sex Pistols record "Frigging In The Rigging" without actually knowing quite what most of it was about, and what those attachments between the legs are for, and why boys have them and girls don't...

...All except for Norris. Norris was the biggest boy in the class and as so often happens, size of body went in inverse ratio to size of brain. Norris was a thicko. He was too thick even to realise that he could have commanded some kind of grudging respect by becoming a bully. So we were taken aback when one day he claimed "I can touch my willy and it gets hard and stuff comes out!"

Touch willy, sure, anyone can do that. Gets hard, well, hmm, yes, some of us had noticed something similar. Stuff coming out? Get away, you bullshitter!

"It's true!" "'Snot!" "Is!" "Isn't!" "All right, Norris, prove it!"

Thankfully he didn't whip his trousers down and start bashing the bishop on the spot. He offered to bring some 'stuff' into school next day to prove his tale.

Next day rolled around, and we all clustered round Norris as soon as he arrived. "Let's see it!"

Norris produced a little plastic pot and displayed it for our inspection.

"Norris... That's toothpaste."

"Isn't!" "Is!" "Isn't!" "Is!" "Look, Norris you spacker, it's still round from coming out of the nozzle! ...and it tastes of mint!"

Yes, to prove my point, I stuck my finger into Norris's "semen" and tasted it. Thankfully, I was right, and it *was* toothpaste...

So let's just sum that up: I encouraged a 10 year old boy to have a wank and collect his semen so I could taste it. I'm going to a special hell, aren't I?

Length.... nah, let's not go there.
(Rise and Fall of the Atomic Cabbage Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 12:25, 3 replies)

No, you're not going to hell....
.. Far from it. Your "grooming skills" mean you have a calling.

www.catholic.org/

go forth and Pontify.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Mon 17 Jan 2011, 13:12, closed)

I'm still LOLing
minutes after reading this. I bet you are so slad you were right now. OR did you just add that bit to make your self soud hard?
(Wagane, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 15:25, closed)

you teachers fucking sicken me.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 17 Jan 2011, 21:33, closed)