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This is a question Annoying words and phrases

Marketing bollocks, buzzword bingo, or your mum saying "fudge" when she really wants to swear like a trooper. Let's ride the hockey stick curve of this top hat product, solutioneers.

Thanks to simbosan for the idea

(, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 13:13)
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This question is now closed.

I have one that I do myself
it's accidental, and people generally just smile rather than get annoyed. I can't say the word penguin. No idea why. So it comes out as pengweng
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:13, Reply)
Yummy Mummy
Just hearing that makes me want to stab someone.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:04, 1 reply)
Baa baa wooly sheep, have you any wool....*
Yep, doesn't matter if the kids heads get screwed up wondering why they are asking such a pointless, self answering question, as long as no colours or shades are ever discussed openly in case we offend anyone.

It's only a matter of time before humpty dumpty has a slight fall and receives compensation for trauma.

*I do not read the daily mail, I heard this from a student teacher.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:59, 1 reply)
Do you listen to Radio 4 ?
If you do you'll be familiar with the expression "....on the ground". Drives me fucking mental. Everything's "on the ground". e.g. "Churchmen are calling for more Sunday school teachers on the ground", "The Association of Chief Police Officers has condemned the lack of training for its officers on the ground", etc.... I even heard one a couple of weeks ago when the air crew union (or somesuch) was calling for more money for air crews on the ground. FFS.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:49, 1 reply)
Lives on the line
These days whenever "our boys" (in the armed services; police force sorry, service; etc. ) are mentioned, journalists, politicians and interested parties say that 'government should do such and such' or 'so and so should be more grateful' because they "put their lives on the line".

On what line?

Prior to watching rather too many 1980s Hollywood action films, nobody used this phrase. When it was first coined it was a useful euphemism.

But nowadays, every hack journalist, Tory politician and harrumphing phone-in ranter seems only express the idea that:
lives are at risk
lives are in danger
lives are in jeopardy
lives are under threat
people are in harm's way
with the phrase "... (are putting their) lives on the line"

And that's just the common idiom, never mind more creative or poetic ideas which, as professional writers/thinkers, journalists and politicians ought to be able to come up with.

But no. All we get is "...on the line".
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:28, 2 replies)
Blue sky thinking
Every time I hear someone use that phrase I want to rip off their arm and beat them to death with it.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:10, 1 reply)
If I get something to eat, mrs monders will ALWAYS ask me...
"are you hungry?"

Winds me right up.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:09, 3 replies)
None in ages ...
and then 3 at once! We had a meeting this morning and the guy visiting us managed to use touch base, moving forward and vanilla all in the space of 30 minutes!!
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:06, Reply)
People saying "last" in QOTW
ETA: God damn it!
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Whatever
To them means "I've won the argument on the grounds that it's not worth my effort"

To me it's another way of saying "I've lost the argument".

Mrs Sandettie once said it, I laughed and pointed out that she's not actually a 12 year old. She's never said it since.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 13:58, 3 replies)
'Talk to the hand'
and all possible variants thereof.

It makes me want to rip off said body part and beat the prat who thinks this sounds witty to death with it! ArrrrrrgH!

Edit: Ooh, also, the post below has just reminded me of people who insert an extra 'a' when pronouncing thesaurus. It isn't the the'a'saurus!!
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 13:52, 4 replies)
You like 'travelling' eh?
Personally, I prefer arriving and staying and actually seeing an area for more than 5 minutes, rather than ticking it off a list. And I don't want to hear about your fucking yoga master, or you fucking your yoga master. Brighton's full of the cunts. Gap-Year should be rebadged as Gash-Year.

"I'll tell you this for free" is always a favourite. However, what is worse and I have already read below is people calling you "mate", when they're not. I do this a lot, and I don't mean to, I think it's a nervous reaction, and the fact I'm terrible at remembering names.

A couple of my friends have catchphrases - and if they weren't such awesome people, and I didn't know them already I would want to club them to death with a thesaurus.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 13:42, 2 replies)
marriage
it's a fucking register office not registry! You even hear this on tv, really pisses me off
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 13:33, 11 replies)
Not sure if this applies in other careers but...
being in the army means there are LOTS of lists (whats in this box, on this shelf etc etc) and for some reason if there is more than one of any item it is listed as "2 off" "3 off" etc.
its 2 OF , 3 OF ffs...

and dont bet me started on the middle management i work with who are totally incapable of stringing together a simple paragraph indicating work they have done or want doing... drives me up the wall.

/length
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 13:14, 3 replies)
Stood or Standing?
My Dad picked me up on this the other night.
Twice I said stood when he reckons I should have used standing. Apparently, and I've no actual knowledge of saying this, I said 'he was stood by the side of the road'.

Right or wrong?
Or can I just berate my father for nit-picking?
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 13:10, 3 replies)
spiritual
"I'm not religious, I'm spiritual."

Fuck the fucking fuck off.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 12:36, 1 reply)
I don't like "cum".
I much prefer "come".
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 12:21, 14 replies)
"We seem to have resumed our technical difficulties and will now join the programme"
Resumed our technical difficulties? Eh? Would that be rectified, BBC?
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 12:20, Reply)
Before this week finishes
1: Double negatives. Particularly "I never did nuffink..."
2. "You wasn't" as in "you wasn't there"...It's WEREN'T.
3. "I done that last week..." No, you DID that. 'Done' is not the right partiple here, now please die.

They're, their, there and you're, your etc... I try to resist the urge to get all grammar nazi on people but there's times when I just want to go on a murderous rampage with a rusty spoon.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 12:13, 3 replies)
this just arrived in an email
"Can you please encourage relevant staff in your teams to take part in this so that we are as up to speed as possible. We cannot afford to miss the boat on this initiative. "

*shudder*
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 12:00, 6 replies)
Spiky plant thing
I can't say Cactus, no idea why...

I say "catcus". Again, no idea why.

The plus side to that, and on topic, was that it seemed to irritate my (now) ex wife no end :)
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:47, Reply)
So,
where do we all stand on the erstwhile B3TA standard of 'cunt them in the fuck'?
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:45, 9 replies)
We've had the misuse of my/your/ourself
but what about 'he', as in:

Caller: Is that SLVA?
Me: Yes, I am he.

What rule has that broken, if any? It just sounds weird.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:43, 9 replies)
Speaking of vitriol
My mum says 'vicktriol'.

She's intelligent, and I don't think it's on purpose. But good Christ.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:42, Reply)
The right thing to do...
This one seems to crop up all the time these days (especially from politicians of all people) and annoys the crap out of me much like 'friendly bacteria'.
The 'right thing to do' for most of these self obsessed idiots would be to inject methamphetamine into their ballbags and play russian roulette with a semi-automatic pistol.*

*Could also improve viewing figures for the parliament channel.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:32, 1 reply)
All the aspergers types threatening violent behaviour for mishandling the Queens English are making me LOL.
Like, literally.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:23, 5 replies)
"Colleague announcement"
this is what I hear in my local Sainsburys these days. What is wrong with calling them staff for fucks sake?
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 11:08, 7 replies)
Co-Worker or even worse Coworker.
What's wrong with colleague? Even workmate is better.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 10:32, 3 replies)
Good times
Utter redundant nonsense. Saying 'good times' over an awkward silence, during a bout of alcohol intake or int he midst of any otherwise enjoyable convresation will not create good anything.

Following on, '[blank] times' seems to have become an epidemic. Apparently the times we live in can be variously good, bad, sick, lol (lol times? really?) and so on till we all die of shame.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 10:29, 3 replies)
It's slightly off topic, but...
... on the radio this morning, there was someone talking about the latest Toyota recall.

He admitted that it was probably only precautionary, but added a complaint that it was therefore a bit like shutting the stable door before the horse had bolted.

Christ. It's bad enough that he reached for a hackneyed term like that - but to misuse it so egregiously?

Wanker.
(, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 9:51, 6 replies)

This question is now closed.

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