Actual Call Transcript..
Ah the call centre. Pit of eternal hell and place of my employment. Had this beauty today.

Me: Welcome to *****, my names Rogue, How can I help you?
Cunt: Do you hear this? (faint background hold music)
M: Yes. It sounds like our hold music.
C: Yeah it is. I've been on hold for the past half hour waiting for that last guy to come back. And this calls costing me money.
M: It's costing you double phoning me too..
C: Don't be sarcastic. Do you know who has me on hold?
M: Whats his name?
C: Eric.
M: Eric who?
C: I don't know.
M: What dept?
C: I don't know
M: What call centre?
C: I don't know.
M: What country?
C: I said I don't know!
M: Well pray tell me how the hell I'm supposed to know...

C then preceded to unleash a torrent of abuse for 5 minutes before promptly slamming down the phone. Didnt matter. It gave me 5 minutes peace to watch the Scotland game..

Apologies for lack of lulz but this is the sort of shit I deal with on a daily basis.

Oh and I know that Kenny Miller couldn't score in a brothel with a £50 note wrapped around his dick..
(RogueSpark Coming back to the surface, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 23:48, 9 replies)

fucking kenny miller
he's fast, he's hard working, he gets into good positions, he always makes himself available for passes, he works with his back to goal, runs the channels, tracks back, does everything you'd like a striker to do.
its just that he's utterly, utterly shit at football.
its a shame.
(unciebana It's good, but it's not right., Thu 10 Sep 2009, 0:08, closed)

Genuine megaLOLs
Priceless
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 4:42, closed)

Correct
The Herald website in the match review described him as being like a "tennis player without a server"

Bring back Kris Boyd
(Zutroy started without you, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 5:47, closed)

I've had somebody do that before
Two of them rang at once, from their mobiles, to see who got through first. Both needed my department.

They then had the audacity to demand a refund for the cost of BOTH mobiles being on hold for 50 minutes. I just said that I'd refund one, and left a note on the account saying why, and asked them why the hell they thought that one phone would get through quicker.

Some companies DO pay for stupidity. But I personally don't.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 2:37, closed)

Miller and Boyd
were like one whole player combined in two. One would do the running, harrying and general enthusiastic but ultimately futile stuff, and the other would have the ball go into the net off his arse against the Faroe Islands.

Rather than bringing Boyd back I think we should concentrate on never playing Kenny Miller again.
(thePontificator, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 9:30, closed)

Maybe...
Seeing how your current boss likes to get old players out of retirement, he could get Archie Gemmell to put his boots back on. Then you can all relive 1978
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 9:35, closed)

Ah memorys of a better time..
Those where the days.. lol
(RogueSpark Coming back to the surface, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 10:00, closed)

I fail to see
how Kenny Miller made it to Celtic, then back to Rangers again. He was great at Hibs as a youngster, hence the original move to the scum. Didn't work out and he went to Wolves, where playing at arguably lower levels made him look good. Move to Celtic and he's found out. Down to Derby, did nothing in a terrible season, then back to Rangers, where again, he's done next to nothing.

Who has he scored against for Scotland?

I'll take McFadden and that knob Boyd over Miller anyday
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 10:21, closed)

His debut goal...
when he played for Celtic was probably one of the best I have ever seen.
Mind you it took hours of playing to get it...
(bof, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:39, closed)