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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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I have a few of these
But for now I will tell the tale of one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

New year's eve 1999. The eve of the millenium. I was about 12 at the time and was living with my parents at their flat in Forest Hill in London.

It happened about a minute after midnight, in a weird twist of fate. All we could hear was fireworks outside, people having a good time, and then suddenly...

"Bang! Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech! Vroooom!"

The screech was not the screech of tires, but that of metal on metal.

Outside our flat was a lamppost. It was slightly less than 6ft away from the pavement, which oddly happens to be exactly the same width as the front of a mini.

Indeed, this happened to be what had just become wedged in between the lamp post and our wall. Unfortunately the gap wasn't quite wide enough to get the other end of the mini through, and somehow the rear of the car had also become wedged against the brick wall.

Inside was this jamacian fellow who was frantically spinning his wheels trying to get the car free, and his irate girlfriend who was shouting at him in the way that only pissed off west indian women know how.

Having failed at that, he tried his door. His girlfriend tried her door. Nope - wedged.

They finally managed to climb out by the boot, just as the police pulled up to ask the bloke exactly what he thought he was doing trying to drive his car up the pavement.

Laugh? We nearly shat.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:27, 4 replies)
Clicky clicky click click...
This made me laugh - quite a lot - and what makes it even funnier is that I too used to live in Forest Hill and can quite imagine this happening :-)
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 13:51, closed)
Muttermutteranalpedantmuttermutter
Eve of the *last year of the* millennium.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 16:24, closed)
Muttermutteranalpedantmuttermutter (2)
You can't get from the passenger compartment to the boot in the type of Minis they made up to 1999.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 18:29, closed)

Fuck it, it was 10 years ago.

Still pretty sure he got out of the boot though.

And your point is...?
(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 23:13, closed)

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