b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Cheap Tat » Post 112534 | Search
This is a question Cheap Tat

OneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."

Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.

What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1

« Go Back

That reminds me...
It's going to be a long one...

My previous post reminded me of this...

Morrisons is the supermarket of choice for those who feel they are too upmarket for asda. A home for the troglodytes/chavs/marsupials that seem to populate our society these days...

My housemate and I decided to host a party in the style of fancy dress, as you do, and as part of the role of host i decided to whip up some flavoured vodka (favourites being skittles, werthers originals and xtra strong mint varieties).

Morrisons decided that this weeks special offer would be litres of obsure brand vodka for £5 each... bargain thought I!

Four litres of vodka, several packets of the finest sweeties money can buy, and a weeks worth of brewing/fermentation later, the evening was set... my classy ninja costume secured i was ready to wow my guests with vast quantities of alcohol, stunning choons and conversational wit...

It started well, The winter fairies from down the road were getting on well with the witches and warlocks from the other side of town... The mexican farmer was slowly trying to worm his way into Action Mans pants, and Daisy Duke seemed to be enjoying herself with the Jock in drag...

and then it all went a little hazy, the cheap vodka did not mix well with the copious amounts of beer and weed... various puddles of red, yellow and white began to appear around the garden, my stomach started to quiver in time to the bassline... things were not looking good...

By this point it was too late to warn anyone, the last of the vodka was consumed, the garden was full of vomiting fantastical creatures, the dwarves were hurling on the elves, who were in turn vomiting on the fairies. The evening had degenerated into chaos...

suffice to say, that was the end of the evening, everyone who was in a fit state left as soon as they were capable, those unable collapsed where they were in soggy heaps. I have no recollection of the remainder of the evening apart from answering the door to my loudly complaining neighbour, and when told to keep the noise down answering with a well thought out reposte of "Bleeuuughh" complete with chunks of sausage roll from my nostrils...

I learnt my lesson though, never, EVER buy cheap vodka... it'll be the death of you and quite possibly your friends...

If you click "i like this" I'll post some of the pics from the night in question...
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 16:10, 11 replies)
I thought..
that when I've got the cash to go to 'morereasons' (instead of Aldi!) that I was being posh!

is it because i is a chav?
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 16:41, closed)
Don't fancy being a troglodyte or a chav
so I'll settle for being a marsupial. Koala bears are quite cute, I'll be one of them!
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 17:29, closed)
Cheap vodka is only good for making cereal not-dry when you have run out of milk.
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 17:35, closed)
cheap something
my mate bought 'vodka' from the black market when he was about 15. Drank it at my mates party and vomited in the back garden all night curled up in the foetal position. It was in a fucking sunny d bottle for christ sake. I got my jacket back a few days later probably boil washed by his mum.
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 18:24, closed)
Fucking amazing
please enjoy my mate's night of 'Vomit Orgy', enduced by drinking budget tequila.
p.s. I can be heard in the background at 32 seconds in
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 18:52, closed)
Morrisons own brand Canadian Rye Whisky has a similar effect.

My boyfriend bought some once. Granted, he did drink the whole litre, but nonetheless I was not amused when he tried to start a fight with two chavs on pushbikes, then sat down in the middle of the road and started crying.
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 18:53, closed)
That comment
is fooking hilarious
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 19:29, closed)
Could be worse...
Drink cheap vodka in Russia and you'll turn yellow and die.
(, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 20:07, closed)
"the garden was full of vomiting fantastical creatures"
major *CLICK*
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 11:10, closed)
vodka was probably ok.
i'd guess that a week of it brewing with skittles did the trick. nothing wrong with cheap alcohol
(, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 21:29, closed)
Ots always the last pint that was off!
"the cheap vodka did not mix well with the copious amounts of beer and weed."

SOOOOOOOOO nothing to do with the beer and weed then???
(, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 12:57, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1