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This is a question Childhood Ambitions

HoratioFellatio writes:
"At the tender age of 13, my little hairless clockweights squirted their first dose of testosterone into my blood stream. The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.' I reasoned that if I became a Gynaecologist, I'd get to look at fannies all day.

"It was only when I reached the age of about 16 and learnt about STD's and yeast infections that I realised I'd only ever get to see diseased ones."

Tell us about your childhood career ambitions and the moment at which your aspirations crumbled into a pile of broken dreams.

(, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 12:02)
Pages: Latest, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, ... 1

This question is now closed.

The Open Road
When I was a kid we often went on holiday to France, Italy etc in the car. My dad loved driving long distances, and even my & my brother squabbling & asking "are we there yet?" every 2 miles didn't put him off. I've inherited his love of the open road, and the romance of getting in your vehicle and driving until you couldn't drive anymore infected me at an early age.

That's right, my dream job was to be a long distance lorry driver.

So far as I was concerned they were the kings of the road. We used to get really excited when we saw trucks with British plates on European motorways and would wave at them from the back of the car, delighted when they honked their horns in response. Ah, those were the days. The fact that 90% of them probably had a dead prostitute in the cab didn't cross our childish minds.

Sadly, I never fulfilled my childhood ambition. Instead of a life behind the wheel of an 18 tonner I work in TV. And I'm a girl. Is this odd?
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 15:59, Reply)
My little brother
wanted to be a farmer so that he could grow cheese sandwiches.

Since I was 4 I wanted to be an artist, and I am.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 15:24, Reply)
At School
At school I wanted to be a girl.

I was 15 when I wanted that.

A horny teeneager - enough said really....
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 15:17, Reply)
I cant believe I forgot........
Browsing through this weeeks answers to this weeks fairly tedious question, I suddenly recalled a hankering I had to be the guy who played Grimace in the old McDonalds adverts.
Simply because I thought it was a great costume.
I told everyone I wanted to be Grimace for about two years.

Im not proud, yet Im not ashamed.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 14:51, Reply)
When I was but a seven year old girl
I told my mum I wanted to be a page 3 model.

Visibly shocked, she told me that no, I didn't, I wanted to be a scientist.

More fool her then when I grew up to be a dyslexic with an impressive chest!


Shame then I work in telecoms :(
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 14:15, Reply)
I'm an SMS consultant so I'm supposed to know my sh*t about SMS and the like.

So when someone who clearly aspires to be an SMS consultant cos he's been on the fucking course tells me that I'm wrong - I want to rip his little pin-head off his scrawny shoulders.

(Just to bring this on topic)

And then point out that really, no, you have no ability whatsoever and no chances of being an SMS consultant you half-wit.

Yes, I am angry today.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 14:08, Reply)
I wanted to be regarded as really pedantic when I grew up.
So when people type things like Connelley instead of Connelly I could point it out.

I can die happy now.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 14:02, Reply)
I went through a variety of stages, first I wanted to be a robber like my uncle (he was a policeman, but I was young and got cops and robbers mixed up) then I wanted to be an Architect for some time, then I wanted to be a Forensic Scientist, I opted for that cos too many readings of Micheal Connelley books made me realise that I would have be a doctor before a pathologist! Then I finished college, worked as an Actvity Instructor on a kids holiday camp, went travelling, and everything changed! I obviously caught the traveling bug and subesquently chose a uni course which would let me do some more travel, I chose nursing, and its the fookin shiznit! I'm now working as an A+E nurse which is extremely enjoyable and challenging and after a couple of years acquiring the necessary knowledge and experience the world will indeed be my oyster. Sorry for the none amusing post, but i just wanted to share somet!!
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 13:58, Reply)
Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington. She's an ugly, untalented brute of a girl.
I wanted to be an actor/singer. Not a star, just in work on the stage. I knew what I wanted from the age of eight, before I even knew my grandmother and great grandfather had done it and it kind of ran in the family.

I went to acting school and trained for seven years as a classical singer.

And I started auditioning for stuff and discovered that my nerves always got the better of me, so I always fucked up auditions. I finally got a lead role in something only to have the show pulled because the theatre company couldn't afford the rights. I took it as an omen and gave up after that.

I now have a twenty-something year career under my belt of supporting and facilitating professional performers in various ways. I get to watch other people do what I always wanted to do. Close up.

It sort of sucks and sort of doesn't.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 13:54, Reply)
Currently, I want to go Postal.

A lot.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 13:30, Reply)
Pretty, pretty
My 6 year old nephew wants a job with lots of money so that he can buy his mum lots of pretty dresses.

Everybody say AAhhhhhh
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 13:22, Reply)
Forensic Anthropologist
Asked one of my sons what he wants to be...A forensic anthropologist....he's 9.

actually he said he wants to dig up old bones and find out how people died - I was reading a Kathy Reichs book about a forensic anthropologist - told him that's what the job is called, he was impressed. He impresses (scares) teachers with this fact
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 12:59, Reply)
Get thee to a child psychologist
My best mate's four year old niece came running over to me at a family do the other day and proudly announced, "Rakky, when I grow up, I want to be a scientist, just like you." Aw, bless, I thought, that's sweet. So I turned to her slightly older sister and said "And what do you want to be?" "A butterfly princess" was the response. Kids, eh, little cherubs and no mistake.

I noticed their cousin skulking behind a plant pot, so I called out "Alex, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

She fixed me with a malevolent look and replied...

"A terrorist."

Then returned to pulling the heads off the petunias.

Well, at least she's got ambition.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 12:39, Reply)
Unstabledan's message below reminded me of being outside WH Smith with a few friends when we were about 14.

A tramp suddenly lunged from a bush with his cock hanging out, and did a little dance while he blew through a harmonica.

As we stood in stunned silence he asked for a pound and then said "look lads, honestly, I know it looks like a romantic lifestyle but it has its downsides. If you can, go for the 9-5".

No shit!
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 11:21, Reply)
when i was a nipper i always wanted to go into space. it sounded great. all that freedom, peace and exploration.

i was always stuck at home doing chores though so didnt think i'd stand a chance. then all of a sudden this demented wizard bloke starts waving these neon tubes around telling me, me dad's someone else. i know he's got the wrong bloke cos i've got daddies photo next to me bed.

oh well thinks me, in for a penny an' all, good excuse to get away from home. soon enough me, the wizard, some mincing perv in gold body pant and a dwarf in a dustbin (fuckin weirdos) nip off to this cantina full of retarded special people. while the old farts off trying to hitch a lift to space i got completely mashed on death sticks (?!) and keep hearing weird fucking voices everywhere i go.

suffice to say we get into space, the wizard gives me a neon tube of me own, and i try and fuck my sister.

and despite the old buggers suicide i still here him, think i caught demented off him. i've even started hallucianting now. i'm trying to figure out why he's blue and not green.

Dont do drugs kids, it'll fuck you up reet good. right now i'm convinced theres some kind of hobgoblin on me back asking me to do somersaults. in a swamp.

(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 10:19, Reply)
When I was younger I wanted to be a paramedic so badly I would put on a paramedic jacket my dad got me and watched Casualty in it
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 9:36, Reply)
I always wanted to be.... blah blah

Note that in the fens of Lincolnshire where I live - "Scat" generally means crappy.

To quote the dictionary Scat:"Perhaps from Greek skat-, skOr excrement: An animal fecal dropping"

Saying that I'm sure I could find someone to leer at in a Scat club - or just go mad listening to shit music....
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 8:26, Reply)
WPC Lardyboy
Growing up I had several ambitions, digger driver, pilot, soldier, astronaut, astro-physicist, the usual for a kid in the 70s. One that held for a long time was to be a police officer. There was one problem, at the time I wasn't even tall enough to be a WPC. Even more annoying was the fact that I worked for the police as a civilian in the mid 90s when they removed the height restrictions on applicants. By that time I had responsibilities and earnt more than a baby copper so couldn't apply. I know I'd have made a good copper too, one of the self-defence instructors told me that he'd always prefer to be arrested by a tall copper rather than a short one as the short-arses are vicious buggers with chips on their shoulders. I could do that!
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 7:55, Reply)
james tiger woods

QUOTE: "I just go to some scat club in Aberdeen and leer there instead."

I'm going to assume that this is a club devoted to improvised jazz vocals, rather than what I thought of first...
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 7:14, Reply)
An actor!
but I'm too ugly, talentless and ginger to go anywhere...
mind you, Chris Evans...
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 3:23, Reply)
Dragon you will go on my second whistle
I really wanted to be a Gladiator called Dragon on Gladiators. I cried for ages when they pulled the plug on it, I was 9 years old and I had been made redundant.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 1:29, Reply)
Childhood Ambition
My childhood ambition was to bone the twins off Fun House.
(, Wed 4 Apr 2007, 0:41, Reply)
I wanted to be a teacher.
Then I went to school and realised what arseholes kids can be.

Now, I want to teach 16+ kids. At least they sort of /want/ to be there, then. (If they don't, why the hell are they? It's their bloody choice after that!)
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 23:38, Reply)
Like a lot of people probably
When I was a kid my ambition was to grow up.

Now that I've grown up, I wish I hadn't.

Sucks eh?
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 22:50, Reply)
The other week my cousin's class at 'speshul' school were talking about career ambitions. My cousin, 14, responded: "I want to be an air raid warden!"
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 22:15, Reply)
For a long time
I wanted to be the female Biggles. 'Nuff said.

I spent about half an hour wanting to be in the army when I was about seven, because someone had told me that everyone in the army gets given lots of chocolate to keep their energy levels up, but then I remembered that actually you have to be good at PE and stuff to be in the army. So now I just settle for being horrible to all the army boys who drink in my pub. It's my duty as a pacifist.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 20:11, Reply)
Not the geatest ambition
When I was about 9 my teacher asked us what we all wanted to be when we grew up, the usual round of Policemen, nurses, train drivers, models and astronauts responded.... I said i wanted to be a pig-farmer because everyone likes bacon right?

Another trip to school psychologist.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 19:51, Reply)
Not me but my mum. I was once told by my dear mum, during one of those inevitable "what do you want to be when you grow up?" conversations when your 13, that her childhood ambition was to become a stripper! Forget about all the glamour (is this right?) that goes with taking off ones clothes for money these days, this was back in the the 50's when people rarely showed skin outside the bedroom. Don't know what made her change her mind but thankfully she became a library assistant.

Me, I had dreams of becoming a professional footballer and rock star rolled into one. Unfortunately, this rather predictably fell through due to a lack of talent in either direction. Now i'm an office monkey extraordrinaire. Yay for me!
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 19:37, Reply)
I always wanted to be an artist, and now I am (sort of)
But there was a phase of wanting to be the Queen. Turns out there's quite a waiting list for that.

Briefly I fancied being a vet, but it was the snakes put me off that
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 18:59, Reply)
I used to want to be a teacher - I still do.

However, I see what all the chav/redneck children are like these days - And then I remember how purely evil children are/can be.

It's not for me - I'd get myself fired for leering at some 17 year old girl in some provacative outfit....

I just go to some scat club in Aberdeen and leer there instead.
(, Tue 3 Apr 2007, 17:46, Reply)

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