The Berlin Wall
My shit claim to fame is that I was at the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989...with Timmy Mallett.

The mental children's 'personality' was there, sensing that history was in the making, and that he could be there with a TV crew to get some free airtime.

Me. I was there upon instruciton from my dad, chipping away at the wall with a hammer and a screwdriver (as you do) and I noticed Mallett in the distance - he was harassing German children who didn't have a clue who he was - and stupidly shouted his name out and waved (I was young and stupid, I realise my mistake now!).

Hearing me speak English, he (and the camera crew) raced over, and he proceeded to be mental. He was hitting the wall with Mallett's Mallet (a big foam hammer, for those who don't know), and then hitting me over the head with it.
I was 6. I was being hit over the head by a mental patient with a foam hammer.

I burst into tears and ran to my mum...live on TV.

I had nightmares for years, and even now I get a cold shiver down my spine when I see that bastard's face!!
(Kezmo, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 22:07, 2 replies)

I'm reading 'hammer' as 'penis' and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 8:06, closed)

To be fair to you,
I think he has that effect on most people.

Having said that, I'm not sure if I'd be able to live with myself if I had been stood in front of Timmy Mallet, with a hammer and screwdriver, and not driven it into one of his eyes.
(username failed moderation, Mon 24 Sep 2012, 9:33, closed)