Running and curry club
When I used to live near Lewes, East Sussex, I read in a local mag that there was a running club that met every week and ran 7 or 8 miles and ended up at a curry house.

When I rang to ask if I could just do the curry part, I was met with disdain.

Bloody health freaks.
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 17:57, 1 reply)

vscc
I'm in the vintage sports car club. yes there are a lot of double-barrelled names and bentleys. but for the most part it is the sort of folk you see on scrapheap challenge, who have concocted cars powered by vintage aeroplane engines and like nothing more than camping, drinking beer and smelling of castrol R. ace.
(bryo, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 17:48, Reply)

Pagan sex cult
Many many years ago I was rather interested in world religions and specifically those that existed in pre-Christian Europe. I got talking to a group of local pagans as I was fascinated by the philosophies behind the beliefs and the practice of magick (which is apparently how you spell it to differentiate it from pulling bunnies out of hats).

I was invited by some of the group to come join the next meeting of their coven to see a ritual for myself. Quite the honour I thought. Didn't really know what to expect. Had heard a lot about being 'skyclad' (basically dancing round fires in the buff), sex magick and lots of other eyebrow raising stuff, but I went with an open mind.

I arrived at the designated address, at the designated time, was lent robe and told that some of the group liked to be naked underneath to feel more "connected" to the earth. Crivens, I thought, my mind filled with visions of what might unfold. Was I going to be initiated in the group by having to bang the high priestess? Was I going to discover how cold a witch's tit actually is?

Ended up very disappointed. Turns out being a witch largely involves slowly walking round in a circle sprinkling water/ salt on the floor or wafting incense about for protection, then drinking some organic ale from a chalice and eating cake. Didn't even get to sacrifice a goat. Gutted.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 17:33, 2 replies)

Space Cadet newspaper woe
I was in the Air Cadets

In an effort to get Cadet numbers up, our glorious leaders called in a bloke from the local newspaper to do a puff piece on the FUN FUN FUN we had. He came along, took a few notes, and I was photographed doing a face that could only be described as a "belm", sitting in our Air Force surplus ejector seat which we carted round school fetes for publicity.

Come Thursday, there I was, belming, on the front page of the Henley Standard, alongside another picture story of a severely disabled kid who had just received his first electric wheelchair. It caused quite a stir locally, and I was labelled "an arrogant gun-toting crypto-fascist" by some of the more sensitive readers in the following week's letters page. Stupid Space Cadets.

Let that be a lesson for anybody who thinks it might be a good idea to appear in the local press.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 17:21, Reply)

As a kid I was a member of the Dennis the Menace fan club
I had a furry Gnasher badge.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 17:09, 19 replies)

My dad heads the Doors Subcommittee of the Rooms Committee at his local Masonic Lodge
we were convinced for ages that this was obviously secret code for them running the world, but it turns out they're just really really anal about property maintenance.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 16:54, 1 reply)

I, as a sweaty-palmed teen, joined the Natalie Imbruglia Fan Club.
I had a bit (a lot) of a crush on her and signed up. It was free and I got some promo shots for a few of her singles featuring the scantily-clad aussie fox herself.

Several years later (and no longer a member as a result of failing to renew my membership) I found out that she was with Daniel Johns from Silverchair and moped to myself for a few days.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 16:53, 1 reply)

What's in a name...
After several months of forking out considerable sums to attend a sewing class, a few friends and I decided that we'd attempt to go it alone. Every week or two we meet up for a bit of a stich and bitch and swap ideas, skills and patterns. It's cheap and cheerful and makes sure our machines aren't allowed to get too dusty.

I'm not keen on calling our gatherings "sewing club" as it sounds too beige, but over the past few weeks we've all broken needles and had to swap them so often that we're considering calling it "The Needle Exchange".

Might give our image a somewhat more controversial slant...
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 16:29, Reply)

If you believe members of the English Defence League...
...I'm a commie lefty islamofascist nonce defender who is guity of being part of a zionist conspiracy to bring in Sharia Law, because I sometimes take the piss out of their less literate members.

Online.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 16:23, 14 replies)

I once joined a wine club, we met in the park every morning.

Thank you mr Mack.
(Official Sarc, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 16:15, Reply)

i joined a club once
but it was a bit shit, due to the fact that membership was based entirely on liking a lot of chocolate on your biscuit.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:54, 12 replies)

Every Tuesday
We go to a small bar next to a Mexican restaurant and indulge in tacos and beer. Neither clever nor unique, but the bar is peaceful, the beer is quality and the tacos plentiful. It's the simple things in life, or so I hear.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:35, Reply)

Not me, but a mate of mine.
He's a member of this: www.test-cards.fsnet.co.uk/
They have bashes and everything.
:/
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:27, 3 replies)

I'm not allowed to talk about it.

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:21, 1 reply)

Drinking
i was instrumental in starting the "wednesday night drinking club" on a message board in singapore.

We drank booze.

On a Wednesday.
(ratbagpuss, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 15:06, 3 replies)

Well, if very, very obscure counts as almost secret, then there's us:
www.westernswamptortoise.com/
(BeatsWork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:58, 1 reply)

I don't get how Bjork could have "An Army Of Me".
There's only one of her. It's stupid.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:35, 6 replies)

Club Nintendo
As a kid I entered a competition in a comic to win a Nintendo Entertainment System (or NES, to you youngsters). Inevitably I didn't win, but I hadn't read the small print on the compo - apparently everyone who entered got a lifetime membership to 'Club Nintendo' which entailed receiving a Club Nintendo Membership Card and a Club Nintendo Magazine every two months full of NES reviews, NES tips and other pro-NES articles (what with it being written by Nintendo themselves).

It's difficult to describe the frustration felt regularly receiving a magazine through the post featuring all the great games available for a console THAT I DIDN'T HAVE.
( The Silent Channel is getting his recommended 5-a-day, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:16, 1 reply)

There's a club at our workplace
formed some years ago, that is open to all, but you have to make a commitment to abide by the one very simple rule of the society.

Every Friday lunchtime, unless you have a good excuse, you have to get together and each have at least one pint and a sausage (sausage sandwiches or sausage and mash normally, but a Scotch egg counts at a pinch).

It's hardly the Freemasons, but it generally works pretty well, and I wholeheartedly agree with its aims.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)

ninth and
4 rowing clubs

BOOM
(magictorch, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)

Trying to give my kids an education in London is a nightmare. The guns, the gangs, the whores and the drugs.
-- and I'm home schooling them.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)

seven
I remember discovering Caesar codes when I was younger. Me and my mates started using them to stop the girls from reading our top seecrit notes.
I'd love to have a copy of them now, and read what ever crap I wrote as a child. Innocence was such a long time ago.
(justin(e), Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Sixth
Also, as I get older I keep repeating what other people have said, and thinking that it's both original and funny.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:02, Reply)

*something about seals*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:50, 1 reply)

.....

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)

Third!

(stevkay, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:47, Reply)

First
Am I part of a club now?

Ninja Edit: No :(
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:47, Reply)

First?
edit: something about llamas mouths?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)