Other stuff I don't see the attraction for
The film Grease

Paris

Beach holidays

oasis

Coffee

dogs

seafood

weddings

oh, and fucking Skins
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 0:21, 12 replies)

And seeing as this is turning into 'Things that annoy me'...
...The football fan's 'We'

"We were shite"
"We were awesome"

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO...

I support a team, but I will never, ever (ever) say 'we' when in meaningful discourse about my choice of sporting allegiance.


"We're OK going forward but we need to get back quicker when we lose possession"

Are you on the fucking pitch getting into good positions?
No. You're a fat cunt who gets out of breath walking up a flight of stairs.


"We need to sort out the midfield"
Really? Have you got some kind of advisory role within the management structure of which I have hitherto been unaware? Oh no. You're a fat cunt who drives minicabs when not too busy sitting on his fat arse claiming benefits.


Why do people find the need to try and associate themselves with a bunch of overpaid wankers who only have as much allegiance to a side as his ridiculously high wage packet. Its bad enough to hear when its coming from a lifelong fan speaking about his hometown team, but to hear someone from Cardiff saying 'we' when talking about Didier Fucking Drogba drives me fucking batshit mental.
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Sat 17 Oct 2009, 0:21, 1 reply)

Anal sex (must've bindun)
Don't get me wrong, I love a bit of filthy sex as much as the next man, but I really don't get the obsession (amongst many straight men anyway) with trying to get it bumwise. Why would I want to get my cock covered in shit by forcing it into a dry place where it blatantly doesn't want to fit when there is a perfectly good and slippery orifice next door. I can understand the 'forbidden' aspect of it, but quite frankly the actual sodomy does nothing for me.

Dirty sex doesn't actually have to be dirty.

Mind you, if a lady *really* wants me to do her in the shitter, I'm more than happy to oblige. Buts it's for her, not me. I'm nice like that.
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 23:42, 10 replies)

It's 98% percent of porn...
...use totally shaved fannies. However I don't like the big overgrown hairy stuff either, is there a website for a freak like me?
(PintOfGuinness, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 23:35, 4 replies)

Shitfaced
I don't get the attraction on drinking so much you get absolutely shitfaced drunk, don't remember what you've done or which gargantuan ugly woman you stuck your cock into, and vomit copiously, or shit yourself in public in your best jeans.

Sure, I like to have a few and act like a tit (hell, I like to act like a tit sober), but taking it to that extreme just seems fucking stupid.
(David CopAFeel Used to be The_Elcat - Spouting crap since 1970., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 23:20, Reply)

Clubbing
Specifically indie/alternative/rock clubs. For what is meant to be an alternative to the 'no jeans, no trainers' type clubs, there seems to be a huge (albeit unspoken) emphasis on "looking the part". If you're not wearing the tightest jeans known to man, have just the right hairstyle or hanging around with your identical looking friends doing that pathetic self-conscious half dance, you've "no right in being there".

The bar staff will treat you with contempt, and generally ignore you for not being cool, preferring to serve that prick with the winkle-pickers over you. The 'cool' punters will glare at you, almost as if they pity you for just not being as cool as them. They will tut at you because when a song comes on that you like, you want to enjoy it and have a bit of a drunk dance (a song you like being played in these clubs is now so few and fare between, you feel obliged to cherish it that little bit more).

It therefore pleases me greatly to see the cool kids (almost always called tarquin, rupert, charles or something stupid) being violently ill because they couldn't handle their overpriced watered down alcohol as much as they thought they did.
(wayneofthedead Dale Winton was my dad, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:53, 3 replies)

Tits.
Great big tits.
Dont get me wrong i like boobs just like any other man.
But judging a womens attractiveness buy the size of her babyfeeders... i just dont get it.

Anyone care to explain?

I just want to add that i have sampled boobs of all sizes and enjoyed them equally.
(Margatemug, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:50, 3 replies)

Film Club
I can only hope that someday in the future everybody I know will stop looking at me as though I have some bizarre facial deformity when I state that I don't like 'Shaun of the Dead'
(I am Tarka [insert generic witty comment here], Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:42, 3 replies)

Japan
I really don't get the obsession with it.

Sushi's fine, but ridiculously overpriced.

Anime and manga - ultra dull - read a proper book.

People from China/Hong Kong who think because they lived near Japan (or their parents did) it gives them automatic rights to being cooler and being the authority on everything.
(deadly_sinners, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:36, 13 replies)

American cop shows
Especially CSI (first one was ok but dumb, the one with the ginger bloke makes my skin crawl and the other one set in New York is so badly acted its like a comedy show).
And NCIS... wtf? I could write better characters with a pencil sticking out my arse.
Then theres law and order, which I must admit I think I've seen once or twice and was ok. But how fucking may of them are there now? I dont know and I dont care. Just keep them away from my tv.
(EvilMeister, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:34, 3 replies)

Oh shit.
I just spent aaaaaaaages writing a huge rant about religion and why I don't like it and I pressed post and it all fucking dissappered. Fuck it. I don't get religion. There I said it, but you'll be fucking sorry you wasted my wit and warped knowledge you piece of shit (That anger was directed to the computer not you beautiful sexy readers)

That will be all for today.
(MissUnexpectedNuttering Mad to live, Mad to talk, and burn, burn, burn...., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:17, 3 replies)

Stupidity!
I don't mean thick people, after all it's not their fault, they're more to be pitied than scolded, you can't polish a turd...etc etc.

I'm talking about people who have perfectly serviceable brain boxes who accept any old shit without a moments critical thought.

The sort of people who put more weight on the death of one girl with no causal link over the other 1.4 million girls having the HPV vaccine.

The people who believe any sentence that starts "apparently..."

The fuck whits that forward email warnings of new mortal dangers that for some reason are absent from our 24/7 ,desperate for a story, media and make no sense what so ever.

The fact that hairstyle is a defining factor in the success of a prospective PM.

People who talk about the "busy modern lifestyle..." as if human existence before 1981 involved nothing but lounging around in silk dressing gowns smoking cigarettes in long ebony holders.

In short that Great British public.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:09, 4 replies)

Far, far too many to list here, and most have already been done, but the worst are...
Reality TV - why the fuck do the uneducated masses love this ream of shite that is constantly on the fucking box? Give b3ta a channel to run, I bet we could come up with something better without having to try.

Facebook games - They're all shit, end of. I don't want to know what you're serving in your cafe/who you're "killing" in your "Mafia"/what your previous insect life was. Although they do have Connect 4...

Textspeak/viral texts - Fucking learn to type properly. If it's too long for a text, save your time and fucking ring me. If it's a viral text, I'm likely to delete you from my contacts for sending it.

Alcohol - (backstory) I don't drink. See profile for why (/backstory) Stop trying to force me to drink. For the 8365473rd time, I don't want a pint. Get me a fucking orange juice. And on that note, why are soft drinks more expensive than alcoholic drinks? Fucking discriminatory...
(TheUnthinkingMinority needs some new music to listen to., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 21:57, 5 replies)

'REDICULOUS'
The sheer volume of people on here who cannot spell this word is truly ridiculous.

Tip: the more you use spell check the less you actually need it.

It should probably be called spell teach.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 21:48, 6 replies)

Health Freaks
"I drink 2 litres of water a day" Wow. I bet you piss as much too. Why do we need to drink so much water? If our bodies are 70% water then just pass me another fucking beer, why would I want to drink something that tastes like poor man's piss?
"Me and margaret walk 5 miles a day and take a swim" Yippee-fucking-yay asshole. The only reason i've ever been to a gym is to steal towels. I stay a good-enough-size-12 by having sex as much as possible, and if I didn't have Greg for that i'd be fat. Why waste your life counting calories and avoiding carbs? You're still going to die, I would rather spend my life being happy and having fun than wasting it just to live an extra 10 years, who wants to be in a nursing home anyway?
I mean, me and Greg made compromises when we moved in together. I quit smoking so we both didn't have cancer in 2 years when we turn 20. And he stopped eating liquorice which is a hazard to his fucking health because I have no qualms about punching him in the face if he comes near me with the stuff. But really thats as far as I go with staying healthy, I enjoy booze, I enjoy sitting around on my days off college watching dvd's in my pyjamas. I won't sacrifice my life just to prolong it.

Edit: Wow, I really seem to have offended people, maybe they should get back to their very important butt-clenching and power-walking rather than sit at the computer reading shit. I would like to say though, I understand that we have to take care of ourselves and I eat fruit and veg and exercise and other such shite. What pisses me off is people who take it to far, getting up at 5 in the morning to drink liquified celery and run 10 miles a day. The types who go to the pub and ask for mineral water and turn their noses up at you for buying white bread instead of granary-sticks-fucking-seeds-in-your-gums bread. So please stop acting like i'm anally raping kittens and calm the fuck down.
(MissUnexpectedNuttering Mad to live, Mad to talk, and burn, burn, burn...., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 21:29, 9 replies)

The DeviantArt Culture.
*Deep breath*
Okay. 'Fore I start, I know there's a lot of controvesy in this QOTW about how if you don't "get it" or like it, avoid it and move on. It's in that that this will sound hypocritical. I hate DeviantArt Culture, yet I do own a DeviantArt page. I own a page to display my artwork, writing, comic strips and general creative shit I come up with. The purpose of the website. But if you spend more than two minutes on the site, you'll find out that it's an absolutely hideous place to lurk.

I am, of course, referring to the complete lack of original content. Who cares that some overweight Japan-obsessed kid had a dream about his favourite erotic novel character and 'Generic-Anime-Character-#9-That-Is-Almost-Identical-to-the-Last-One' making the beast with two backs in the most depraved way possible? Does anyone care what happens when a Twilight character forms an alliance with an Invader Zim character to destroy the world?

It not only makes it impossible for decent writing and photography to find, it also makes others think that this kind of thing is a good idea, which will inevitably make more fans of this shit, fuel the sources that they ripped off, and make more films/episodes/books to make further godawful fanfiction and disproportionate scribblings. There's some great artists on there, who can't find work/ get any recognition because it's all being hidden away under the same ripped off ideas that say nothing new.

Also, THRZ WAYY TO MANY PPL THAT TLK LIEK DIS CUZ THY R OBSESED WIF LOLCATZ BECUZ THYR SO RANDUM RYT GUIZE? Fuck. Okay, that's enough ranting.
(almightyjoey is most likely listening to Electric Wizard on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:48, 4 replies)

Smoking Pot/Weed
Im not a regular smoker of weed, but have tried it when its gone around. I remember the first time, I was actually scared. With everyone talking about the high and being stoned. I was like. OMG! This is like the next level above alcohol!

Well is it craps like!! Its crap!! Ive gotten high on weed, and i just felt light headed for a while. Tried a blow back. Felt like crap after doing that and a bit sick and dizzy. Then just sat there and couldnt be arsed to speak for an hour whilst I was monged out.

Now as for alochol!! Whe heeeeeey! Party time! Ive done stupid things on alochol! Danced like a crazy mofo, pulled girls, laughed, socialised and had tonnes of stories to tell the day after.

Why is weed illegal?? Its shit!! It doesnt do anything! I cant understand people who are hooked on it and want to get stoned all the time? Its crap! Give me a beer any day!
(Miggyman, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:47, 11 replies)

I confuse myself...
Porn.

I don't find the people in most porn attractive in the least. I don't like how they act, the over-the-top, utterly fake moaning and noises. I don't like the bizarre sexual positions. I don't like the baffling behavior that seems so common, like some guy interrupting a blowjob to smack the girl in the face with his cock. I don't find any of it the least bit interesting or stimulating or sexy.

But my cock does.

I sit there, uninterested, bored, often revolted. With a hard-on.

Honestly, I just don't understand the attraction.
(bergec is filled with inertia, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:44, 1 reply)

Lapsang Souchong
Not my cup of tea.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:35, 3 replies)

Apple Iphones and the Clitoris
Mongs who own the Iphones are blokes who think the swishing of fingers on the screen is like finding a clitoris, us blokes without Iphones know exactly where the clit is.
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:27, 4 replies)

Daily Mail
For some reason my mother in law gets this and as a result once in a while a copy ends up in the house. Why do they claim it is a NEWS paper, everyone can guess where this rant will end up so I'll stop typing now
(bluehamster, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:07, 1 reply)

Gayness
Tried it once but my girlfriend didn't like it.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:48, Reply)

Random irritations
Ill start with:

1, James Corden, why the hell does this person exist, being shouty and fat doesnt make you popular, nothing he does is even remotely funny and the voice wants to make you dig out his voicebox with a tooth pick.

2, Star Wars, why, why, why do people get so obsessed with those 6 terrible films, i dont get te attraction to the hammy acting and ropey special effects, i also dont get how people understand alien languages and robots without the aid of transators.

3, The iphone, why do people love it, its a boring piece of overpriced technology that has features that were new about 5 years ago, why does it have a 3megapixel camera when similar priced rivals have 5, 8 or even 12 megapixels.


Ill add more when i can calm down
(hypr_like_a_monkey, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:36, 5 replies)

Eleanor Roosevelt.
She's all right I suppose, but I don't understand masturbating over her or writing 'slash' fiction.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:36, Reply)

50 cent. Tupac. all the other fucks riding IceT
"I used to push drugs". Awesome. you fuck.

"Look how many whores i have! I'm king of the pimps" Dude. they are whores. i am not particularly impressed by your infested drug-addled whores smearing themselves all over you for money. If they ARE actually working for you then thats worse. you fuck.

"I got all this money!" well done. you have earned money by pretending to be edgey and by selling your soul to produce yet another tune about how rich you are and which overpriced nice things you own over yet another slight variation of another tune by a real artist you ripped off and put your over produced version of a donk on to teenies and the educationally and culturally subnormal. you fuck.

"I got all this gold" yes. it goes very well with your tracksuit. you fuck.

"i got shot x times!" i have never got shot. its not my ambition to be shot. many many people have not been shot even once. it is not something that i am impressed by. you are bascially saying "i was such a crap criminal that my own people shot me. more than once. i'm that rubbish" you fuck.

you got where you are and stay there, by WORKING HARD. Just once tell your fanboys that. Tell them that, in actual fact, you dont get stoned and drunk all day, you dont rob anything not nailed down, you don't hang around bus shelters. Tell them you worked hard, you focused on your goal and that the last fucking thing you ever want to do again is be a fucking street thug. It is not an effective career progression to smoke weed and rob pushbikes in a rundown council estate if you intend to live in LA with the hollywood gliteratti. You fuck.

edit: i should say i dont understand how folk dont see through this act. i dont understand the attraction of someone who is basically saying "i am luckier, richer, better than you you horrible worthless scum" in song after song after song. and they lap it up! ffs

dont even get me onto middle class media students who 'dont really watch films' ffs
(DreddPirateBob has watched every scifi film ever on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:25, 1 reply)

TV adverts shot on VHS...
... or whatever it is they use. Probably some arse-clenchingly expensive Adobe Aftereffects plugin that makes it look like it was shot on a Panasonic NV-MS1 that's been dropped.

Why do they do it? Are wobbly shots and horrible smeary grainy video supposed to make it look more appealing somehow?
(gordonjcp, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:22, 2 replies)

angelina jolie
is it the money or the status??? I wouldnt kick it out of bed, but I've seen more attractive women in my local high street.

I have never seen the attraction of huge breasts. a handfull is plenty and ANY sort of artificial breast implants is a sure fire dangle drooper.
(essexfriend, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:07, 3 replies)

Me too.
I also don't rate the lesbian thing, I want to see a bird being fucked by a big giant cock, not being lapped at in the way a minature poodle goes at a saucer of milk.
If I wanted that I would buy a poodle. And some milk.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:01, 2 replies)

Vocal gymnastics by female singers
Dear Leona, Beyonce, Mariah, Whitney, Christina and Celine,
It is not necessary to use 26 different bloody notes when just one will do.
Thanks.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 18:55, 4 replies)

Ok, let me think.....
Queuing - Why would I want to wait to go in/buy something? You want me to go in there/ buy the item, well let me do it now or I'll go elsewhere!

Patriotism - I just don't get it, why be proud/argumentative/obnoxious just because you were born on a certain land mass or within certain imaginary lines on a piece of a paper? I technically can walk around the world, why should some line on a piece of paper somewhere stop me???

Reality TV - This has been mentioned several times, surely I cannot add anymore to the pot of spit which is about to be poured over Simon fuckwit's head (sorry, I really don't want to say his name)

BMW Drivers - No other reason except that I want one and don't have one

Adverts - From "Girly" adverts with their made up technical words (which are complete and utter bollocks) to the "ordinary" person waxing lyrical about some new shite product to "celebrities" hawking their name/face/body over some new shite. Read that delightful small print on the bottom of the screen you moronic imbeilic retard! (Actually, it's probaby not good to get me started on the subjects of adverts)

"Remakes" - "Hey, the first one was so good, let's remake it!!!!" ... "NO!!!! The first one was good, don't tarnish the quality of the original by stripping it of it's soul! (I'm looking at you "Poseidon Adventure!")

... I'd love to say "I'm glad that's off my chest" but I've just turned 30, single, not getting any sex so I need to vent my frustrations somewhere!

Edit (1) - Damn, I forgot about newspapers!!

(this "edit" list is most likely to be added to on a dangerously regular basis)
(Laxly, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 18:47, Reply)