I'm not sure this is a conspiracy theory or just a call to constant vigilance.
Don't be deceived when they tell you things are better now. Even if there's no poverty to be seen because the poverty's been hidden. Even if you ever got more wages and could afford to buy more of these new and useless goods which industries foist on you and even if it seems to you that you never had so much, that is only the slogan of those who still have much more than you.

Don't be taken in when they paternally pat you on the shoulder and say that there's no inequality worth speaking of and no more reason to fight because if you believe them they will be completely in charge in their marble homes and granite banks from which they rob the people of the world under the pretence of bringing them culture.

Watch out, for as soon as it pleases them they'll send you out to protect their gold in wars whose weapons, rapidly developed by servile scientists, will become more and more deadly until they can with a flick of the finger tear a million of you to pieces.

Jean Paul Marat - (1743 - 1793)
( rjmrjm, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 9:50, 41 replies)

The riots were allowed by the cops as a warning to the Gov to say "cut police budgets at your peril"
I did find the riots odd.

Not the first one - Mark Duggan's death was seen as an extrajudicial killing by the people in Tottenham and it all got out of hand. No mystery there.

But the next ones - to me that had a feeling of being allowed to happen. Specifically in the way it was closed down a few days later. I live in urban London and on the first night the riots DIDN'T happen there was police bloody everywhere. Patrolling the streets. If they'd done this earlier I think the riots wouldn't have happened.

So why didn't the cops pull out the stops and patrol earlier?

It did cross my mind at the time it was a warning shot to the Government about proposed police cuts. But I don't know - more of a thought rather than something I 100% believe as fact.
( rob, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 9:48, 23 replies)

Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have the same middle name
Coincidence? I think not.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 9:32, 10 replies)

Emails
A mate of mine is absolutely convinced that all email ytraffic is monitored and that "they" have specialist software that scans your emails for keywords. If a set amount of keywords crop up, you "go on a list" and someone will read every email you send from then on.

To prove this theory, he sent two emails to himself (but to a different account, if you see what I mean). The first one conatained all the "keywords" like "bomb", "assasinate", "Iraq" and so on, the second said "hello world" and was sent a couple of minutes later.

When the one containing the keywords arrived first, he merely stated that this proved that the scanning software had got more sophisticated.

I just think he's a mental.
(ScousersPet, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 9:20, 22 replies)

When conspiracy theories go wrong....
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15999492
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 8:00, 16 replies)

Dave Chappelle
There was a great conspiracy theory a few years ago after Dave Chappelle went AWOL after signing extremely lucrative contracts on a further season of the Chapelle Show.
Apparently Dave went into hiding in South Africa and renegued on his commitments and contract due to the influence of the Dark Crusaders, a group of extremly powerful black people in the US. Their members included Oprah Winfrey, Al Sharpton, Whoopi Goldberg and Bill Cosby.
They were pissed off at his portrayal of the modern black person in the US and applied pressure to him in to quit his show. They sent him photos of his sleeping children, cancelled his credit cards and even hijacked his TV on one occasion with a message from Oprah herself telling Dave that he was in mortal danger if he continued.
Dave went a bit mad and started carrying a gun and was hospitalized by his wife...
Ends up it was all bullshit and a stunt put on by his PR team to explain why he freaked out and fucked off to SA.
(technocore, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 5:43, 1 reply)

Bagpuss
was based on the Yalta Conference
(roysin, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 3:21, Reply)

Americans deliberately bombed the Chinese embassy in Belgrade
Not much of a conspiracy there, to be honest. Pretty obvious.
(McChinaman banned, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 1:59, 1 reply)

1000 Jesuit homosexuals rape Vladimir Putin, Gerard Butler, Kim Jong-Il
I think this one sounds pretty plausible, really.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 1:19, 2 replies)

Whiskas drugging up teh kittehs
Over the years Ive heard this conspiracy theory several times.
Apparently Whiskas cat food contains some addictive additive, that once your kitteh has eaten it, it wont ever eat any other cheaper cat food and you are forever doomed to buy the drugged up expensive Whiskas variety

I did try put this theory to the test by feeding my cat whiskas for a few weeks, then changing to Morrisons cheap brand.
No idea if it was true because my cat died






Disclaimer
No cat was actually harmed in this experiment, it died at the grand old age of 21 curled up asleep in a shaft of sunlight
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 0:48, 13 replies)

The world is like a ride in an amusement park,
and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we … kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Wed 7 Dec 2011, 0:28, 12 replies)

I believe in farther christmas
so there
*raspberrys*
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 21:01, 7 replies)

Safety pins
were invented by the makers of the early x-ray machines. Think about it, you know it makes sense.
(miserable_north just eat it, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:42, Reply)

smartphones, webcams and xbox kinects are all used to spy on us at home
For market research by big companies.
I remember having this conversation whilst stoned and it made me think.
At the moment I'm not quite sure, is that possible ? Also I have a friend who thinks that the London riots was started by the police to distract us from the economical crisis.

Yay my first ever QOTW suggestion to make it :)
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:39, 9 replies)

Hannah Montanna isn't real.
She's a disguise worn by an entity called Miley Stewart who is one of the personalities inside the head of the demon spawn of the evil Billy Ray who is responsible for one of the most heinous pieces of music of the last century.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:16, Reply)

Conspiracy theorists are tit heads

(miserable_north just eat it, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 20:16, 3 replies)

OK..so hands up who's heard of the molten rock found at ground zero?
Well, it was news to me. (Pictures at the bottom)

May be food for thought, I think.

For me, I file em under 'possible pieces of jigsaws missing boxes'. I haven't found convincing rebuttals, either to this or to the background piece.

Both are below:

www.scribd.com/doc/49624448/Jeff-Prager-Nuclear-911-2011-Detailed-Exposure-of-the-Thermonuclear-Demolition

www.scribd.com/doc/4866520/Collateral-Damage-911-Covert-Ops-Funding-Targeted

Any thoughts on the 500,000 coffins in Georgia? Just garden ponds, right?
(Countryslicker, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 18:24, 14 replies)

Michael MacIntyre
is funny. Discuss.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Tue 6 Dec 2011, 17:51, 12 replies)

Pokerfact
All of Lady GaGa's songs are written be her real dad and uncle: Chas n Dave
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 17:41, 2 replies)

Apparently
June Whitfield's favourite insult is motherfucker. If you ask her though, she will strenuously deny it.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 17:12, 2 replies)

Apparently
there's a guy down in Rivendell swears he's Elvish
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 17:07, 2 replies)

Bruce Lee married
Hulk Hogan.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 16:43, 3 replies)

Bruce Lee was murdered
by Hulk Hogan
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Apparently women have been spreading rumours that man flu isn't real...
Have they had it? How would they know? The whole thing stinks!
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 16:24, 2 replies)

If you fold a $20 bill a certain number of times, in a very specific way
you're obviously a cunt.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 16:15, 1 reply)

The three major religions
are actually all working together. They all believe in the same deity, and all this constant bickering/holy wars business is all done for one and only one purpose.

To hide the truth about the one true God, ME!

NOW BOW DOWN, UNWORTHY MORTALS!
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 16:07, 5 replies)

The Mayan calendar was created by the British government on being awarded the Olympics
To drum up publicity.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Conspiracy Theory, you say? There's only one Conspiracy Theory worth a damn.
What if I told you it was done with mirrors
What if I showed you it was all a lie
Better be careful, someone might hear ya
The walls have ears and the sky has eyes
What if I said you were only dreamin'
What you wanna bet that all you gotta do
Is open up your eyes and you will wake up screamin'
When you realize that it's all come true

Half a million soldiers fly across the water
One in ten are never comin' back again
Fifty thousand sons who never grew to fathers
Don't you ever wonder who they might have been
What if you could've been there on that day in Dallas
What if you could wrestle back the hands of time
Maybe somethin' could've been done in Memphis
We wouldn't be livin' in a dream that's died

Go on and tell yourself again there are no secrets
Go on and tell yourself that you don't want to know
It's best that you believe that you don't hear the footsteps
That follow you around no matter where you go
Maybe you were thinkin' that it didn't matter
Maybe you believed nobody else would care
But once you've added every little lie together
You finally find the truth was always waiting there

Hush, now don't you believe it
Cover your head and close your eyes
Now, take it or leave it
Go back to bed
Now don't you cry
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 15:26, 9 replies)

The Jews
are in control of all the world's monkeys :(
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 14:19, 4 replies)

The woman in my local chippy
is a dead ringer for Kirsty MacColl.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 14:10, 10 replies)