Still makes me cry a little, even now
The scene: University first year, about ten people, all very drunk, all very stoned, all sat in my tiny kitchen. For some reason, we'd decided to play a game of "Eat as many Jacobs Cream Crackers as you can without drinking anything".

This is a difficult game at the best of times but, in these circumstances, it is near impossible. A girl that I had faint hopes of playing smuggle the sausage with later was up and she was struggling. Struggling bad. Gagging on a mouth full of cracker crumbs she spluttered "I can't swallow, I can't swallow".

In a line that immediately leveled the room into incoherent hysterical laughter for literally 20 minutes my lovely flatmate Jo then uttered the immortal words "Just gob it out in the tray by the bed".

Eleven years later it still makes me chuckle to myself like a loon everytime I think of it. Didn't help much with the sausage smuggling though.
(Robin of the Hood isn't into the whole brevity thing, Fri 13 May 2011, 1:37, 4 replies)

The trick is...
...to nibble at the crackers, in the manner of a hamster.

If you stuff an entire cracker in your gob at once, your mouth will immediately become drier than the Sahara Desert, making it nigh-on impossible to swallow the lump. If you nibble at it rapidly your mouth will remain moist, letting you swallow it a morsel at a time and allowing you to win the competition.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Fri 13 May 2011, 2:27, closed)

I
actually have some kind of gift for this. I can pretty much shove a whole one in my mouth and it causes no problems.

Bet that would be a conversation stopper as well...
(Robin of the Hood isn't into the whole brevity thing, Fri 13 May 2011, 20:55, closed)

I guess it's a case of
POIDH.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sat 14 May 2011, 1:02, closed)

quality

(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:20, closed)