Lost phone
Many many years ago I lost my mobile. I was paying for insurance so I went to the shop to report it, they said I needed a reference from the police to be able to report it.

I wandered over to the local plod stop and explained, they wrote down a description of the phone on a clip board, gave me a 'Lost' reference number.

I toddled back to carphonewhorehouse or where ever it was and gave them the number. Some weeks later I got my phone back.

FAST FORWARD SEVERAL YEARS

Different phone goes missing, remembering my past experience I wander to the cop shop and request a lost reference as I would need one to raise the insurance claim.

The cop looks at me. I look at him. He looks at me. He says "What are you reporting".

"A lost phone" I reply.

"If there's no crime committed you can't report it!" he claims

"I could last time" I retort

This level of debate has obviously strained him as he falls back to repeating the old "If there hasn't bee a crime" line to everything I say.

SO I pause... look him in the eye... and I say "I'd like to report a stolen phone please"

He rolls his eyes and gets out a crime report form and then stands there with a straight face whilst I, with an even straighter face, provide him with the obviously made up details of the obviously made up crime.

Found my phone down the back of the sofa that afternoon.
(Shifty weeeee, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 15:52, 5 replies)

hahaha, its the punchline that does it!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:27, closed)

Doesn't reporting a fictional crime
make you a criminal? Wasting police time, attempting to pervert the course of justice, or something?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:38, closed)

Wasting police time.
Won't somebody think of the coppers!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 29 Feb 2012, 22:06, closed)

I hope you get found out, sent to prison
and then bummed until you're nothing but a soggy ribcage.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 17:24, closed)

so your story is you're an idiot.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 19:21, closed)