They say you get more and more right wing as you get older....
...but having been rather too smug in my previous post on this QOTW, I find myself reaching levels of Daily Mail outrage at the antics of a neighbour.

He's worked a whole TWO days in his entire life and now draws over two grand a month in benefits to cover his ever-expanding family's needs.

He's discovered that as long as he remains in full-time education he can continue to receive frightening amounts of money, and has done virtually every course our local college has to offer from hairdressing to motor mechanics.

Last week he told me of his student loan - which he'll never pay back as he has no intention of getting a job - which will be used to take his tribe to Florida. He's the same guy I spotted selling his wedding presents at a car boot two weeks after he got married.

I have two jobs and a mortgage, and last month paid corporation tax, income tax and NI to the tune of fuck knows what.

No wonder there's a credit crunch.

Aaaaaand... relax.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:44, 9 replies)

aargh
I really want to do a PhD, or at least an MSc, but can I really put myself through all that extra debt?

So far my tuiton has been paid for by my grandad, and I've got £330 a month from my dad, and worked 2 days a week 9-5 last year while at uni, but is it worth it?

While I be able to ride out the crisis by studying and get a job when it all gets better again?

Is all my studying worth it? Will a future job pay me that much more?

HELP!!!
(deadly_sinners, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:32, 12 replies)

Man - On - Man - Love

My girlfriend, Liz, and I live in a flat in Tufnell Park. When we went to view the place the letting agent described it as 'a cozy flat in an historic building'. Which in the real world translates as: 'fucking tiny in a rodent infested shit tip'. But Liz liked the place, we moved in, sorted out the mice problem, decorated, and everything was going swimmingly...

My mum and dad came to visit, lent me a shitload of dvd's to while away the long winter evenings, what with cash being tight at the moment staying in was the only real option. Gotta love all the old black and white classics that my old man is particularly into; Casablanca, Maltese Falcon, etc. Where men were men, women were women, and people could act.

Life was good.

A few weeks later Liz asks me if it would be ok if her mate Chris moved in for a bit - he'd just lost his job as a result of this credit-crunch-lets-stop-pissing-about-and-call-it-a-recession craze thats sweeping the nation.

I replied: 'What, you mean Gay Chris?'

And I must stress, I'm not in the least bit homophobic. Its just that, well, Gay Chris is the most GAY fella in the world ever. Nice bloke, looks like the blonde fella out of Trainspotting.

'Sure,' I say. 'He can have the couch for a few weeks.'

And Chris moves in.

And he brings his collection of gay porn with him.

My god, that stuff is GREAT!!!

I recommend every heterosexual man has a browse through some good quality gay porn. As Chris told me: 'The average straight man doesn't have a fucking clue how much pleasure their missing out on by not fiddling about with their arsehole.' Ok, Shakespeare he's not, but he does have a valid point.

Anyway, after a few weeks of exploring the world of man on man love with Chris (on the telly, not in the bed, I don't think Liz would've been too keen on that), Chris finally finds a new place and moves on...

My parents, on a flying visit down to see my sister, stop by and I give them back their flicks. My dad explains he's going to lend them to my sister. She's a teacher who does some media bollocks shit and she wants to show some of the classics in her 'lessons'. I say I've been having trouble getting hold of my sis, and my dad explains her mobile is fucked (not exactly in those words), and that she's getting a new one this weekend.

'There you go, Dad,' says I. I hand over the stack of dvd's and wave the good folks off.

Ahh, all is good with the world.

Then, a few days later Gay Chris calls my mobile: 'Spanky, I wanted to watch Anal Riders last night but there's the wrong disk in the box, I've got your Casablanca disk in there instead. They must've got mixed up. Can I come round and swap um back?'

'Sure, Chris, come round anytime...'

I hang up the phone...

It took me a good ten seconds before the rusty cogs in my brain started turning and the feeling of dread took hold...

This conversation with Chris happened yesterday. It really has been on my mind all last night and today...

So, if you happen to live in East Sussex and see a billboard poster with something like:

TEACHER HELD FOR GAY PORN SHOWN IN CLASS SHOCKER!!!

Or something like that, then could you please let me know???
( SpankyHanky, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:29, 6 replies)

Hmm
My boyfriend has just been made redundant, so we decided that we couldn't afford a condom*...

Which means we are going to have another mouth to feed in a few months time.

*may contain traces of lie and drinking too much alcohol-ness.
( ascorbate, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:27, 2 replies)

I am rather hoping
that the house prices will fall through the floor.
As one of those lucky people that got on the housing ladder by way of a 'not for profit' housing association, it means I have a mortgage on 50% of my house, and rent the other 50%.

They wrote to us recently saying that it would be a good time to buy the other half or however much you can at current market value.

So my house that was worth 115k could be mine for a hell of a lot less than that soon and with no negative equity to deal with....hurrah!!

I have a slight warm feeling inside now, when the people that looked down their noses at people like me for buying via a housing association because it's so 'common' or it's to complicated, and they make money from you and all the other shit I have heard...well ha...it's done me a great service and house prices falling is music to my ears!!!!....in a few years it should 'kerching' all the way to the bank...that's if we still have banks then....and money....

I wonder what Kirsty and Phil would make of this situation??? I love kirsty and Phil...
(iwantmybed Is counting down the hours till home time on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:25, 3 replies)

It's hit me where it hurts
A mate of mine has lost his job as a direct result of the current economic downturn - the idustry he worked in (haulage and truck sales) has been hit really hard and he got made redundant a few weeks ago.

So how has this affected me? he now no longer has use of of two season tickets at Anfield, so I don't get to go the match anymore :(

Life isn't worth living.

Though me and the missus have come up with a way of beating "the crunch" - we are getting better paid jobs. She got one with a 50% pay rise, I'll hopefully be getting one with a 40% rise in the next month or so *fingers crossed*, both within the NHS. We're also going to buy a bigger house, because our cuurent house is in the bracket that has been least affected and the next rung up has been hit fairly hard...
(ScousersPet, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:15, 1 reply)

I was an accomplice to bringing down Woolies!!
yes.... I will admit, I did my own fair share of taking advantage of Woolies when it was was down for the count!

A few months ago (before Woolies was known as a risky business) I popped into my local branch and noticed that Heroes series 1 & 2 boxset cost £30 so I snaffled a copy from the shelf, walked over to the counter and handed it over to the spotty freak behind the till. He scanned it, asked me for the princely sum of £30 and I paid the man in cash (didn't want much of a paper trail for this transaction!)

Anyway... I checked out the cost of the same box set in both Zavvi and HMV - £54.99 in both! THE THIEVING SHITES!!!! So I felt pleased with myself (to the point that I did indeed go home and "peel my banana" in excitement at my money saving expert ways!)

Anyway... an idea sprung into my head, go and buy another box set and flog it on ebay! I was expecting to make some money from this venture, using Woolies as my cash-n-carry style supplier, and ebay as my trading platform as a cheap DVD vendor. However, after popping in the next week to check on my stock levels (aka how many more they had left) I noticed the price had gone up to *gasp* £45 quid!!

Thank God I'd bought my copies when I did! So I waited a week, and the price had rose to £54.99 on the shelf... same as HMV/Zavvi. So I walked in, had a word with the girl behind the counter and said "I bought this the other week, and the mrs has also bought a copy from here. How do we bring one back please?" She asked for receipt and I handed it over, and instead of checking the receipt, she scanned the DVD!!!! (and she wasn't blonde!)

Till opens, £55 out (and asked if I had 1p) which I did. She hands me my money back, and puts the receipt in the till (didn't even bother to read the price, simply looked at what it was for!!) so off I went with my £24.99 profit!! No frigging wonder they went bust!!
(The Funky Monkey played with his banana on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:12, 2 replies)

it has affected me greatly...
because I can now buy far more stuff cheaply.

Frankly, all this has done is burst the inflated hype-bubble that Brown and Blair created - over-priced ex-council tenaments in downtown Basra, sorry, Birmingham...all those mouth-breathers being given thousands on credit, buying huge TVs and sofas from DFS whilst their kids are gorging on Turkey Twizzlers..

So, whilst I laugh my ass off at "Darren and Tracy from Manchester" who are facing repossession for blowing £40,000 on tat and not paying the mortgage for six months, I'm earning a good income in a secure environment (as long as people want heating and cars and electricity, this company will have a market to sell to), I've got my rent fixed for the next two years and my debts are going down as I pay them off. I'm due a nice bonus and my first kid is due in April/May - all in all, I'm loving it!

Oh yeah, and because they are so desperate to get people travelling on holiday, you can basically forget how weak the pound might be - I just booked a fortnights' snowboarding for less than I paid for a week this time last year...

If you've been sensible and not bought what you can't afford (i.e if you're a shelf-stacker on £5 an hour, don't think you can realistically afford to own a 5 bedroom house with a pool without a lottery win), or have lived through the last two recessions and have a good income and good credit rating, then you can get some great deals, with shops falling over themselves to get your custom.

Frankly, I'm having a great time...it seems, from the previous posts, that I am not alone, either. So why all the hysteria on the news?
(Chad, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:06, 1 reply)

Not too much, frankly.
I don't think I'm going to have much to share this week.

The company I work for is part of a multinational conglomeration, and we deal in water treatment and wastewater treatment equipment. As a rule this means that our customers are municipalities, so the credit crunch really shouldn't impact us much. It's making them a little hesitant to hire on new people, but that's about it. The only impact that has on me is that it may be a little while longer before I get to have benefits (I have no health insurance or vacation time).

But since I divorced at about age 40 and had no real savings or much in a 401K, I haven't lost anything. *shrug* Double edged sword, really- I haven't lost anything because I had nothing to lose.

The only thing that may one day impact me is what it's doing to my father's investments- my inheritance is becoming a lot less. However, I'm hoping that that will not really be a factor for quite a few years yet, as both of my parents are pretty healthy.

I'll have to think about this one for a while. I don't know that I can come up with an entertaining story from any of this.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:01, Reply)

My advice
Don't bother with the real world, where it's Crunchy and scary and people want you to be in the office by 9am. Do a PhD instead. I have a job secured for the next three years, I can cheerfully refuse to face my student loan and I'm getting a 16% pay increase next year, because that's what the new students will be getting and "there would only be complaints otherwise." All this whilst blowing stuff up with lasers for a living.

It'll probably all come tumbling down in a few years time, when I can't get a job and the cartoon anvils of income tax, loan repayments and Council tax fall on my head one after the other, but for now the Credit Crunch's only effect has been to make me recognise Robert Peston.

We might not be able to afford to buy houses or get married or other such grown up things, but hey. At least now noone else can afford to either.
(Concrete Cow, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 14:00, 5 replies)

Didn't see that one coming
In the space of a week, I went from being in a great job with not a care in the world, to then receiving an e-mail saying our department was having to make redundancies due to the 'current financial climate'. Was given a month's notice and since the end of November, i've been out of work spending most of my days on the 'net loking for a new job! And posting various shite on 'ere of course.

Still, have caught up on just about every episode of Diagnosis Murder know to man.....
(Colostomy Bag Explosion Lubing the gears of commercialism, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Printer re-fills - IT'S COMPLICATED
I was given a crappy monochrome laser printer but it's better than having no printer, even if it doesn't really work, so I set about making it work. Turns out it was easy to fix - a little bit of dismantling and some cleaning and some swapping of parts. Now I have a working laser printer but - oh noes! it's out of toner.

Just around the corner from my house is a printer cartridge shop. They have a big sign up saying "Beat the Credit Crunch! Help the Environment! Toner Refills!". Now, I had looked online and had seen bottles of the toner I needed for a mere £5 but my urge for immediate printing was great, and so I ventured forth into the shop.

I explained my printery needs. The bloke behind the counter said: "Well, where's your cartridge so we can fill it?".

"And how much might that cost?" I asked, fearing a bit of a sting.

"£32," he replied, which was exactly £32 more than the printer was worth.

"Oh no," I replied, "Just sell me the bottle and I'll fill it myself."

He looked at me as if I were as special as a big yellow minibus. "You can't do it yourself," he stated.

"Er, I'm pretty sure I can," I replied.

"It took me three months to learn," said bloke behind the counter.

Yes, bless you, and that's why you're Captain Minimum Wage.

I hope they go bust.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:56, 14 replies)

so far i've actually enjoyed it
cheaper mortgage repayments and the removal of some of the shitter big businesses on the high street.

I'm still waiting for the mass suicide of market traders tho.

/we shall see if this is all hubris tho
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:55, Reply)

i made a vital error...
my manager was a class A tit, so I walked out, meant to go into another but the position got withdrawn, im now on JSA, I hate it, ive so far got to the final stages of interviews for 3 jobs only for the job to be withdrawn, i guess thats the problem when the only job you are actually trained for is in the financial services lol, although that A level in Music may come in handy when im busking on street corners...
(santas_lil_hohoho is packing her vibrator suitcase, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:51, 2 replies)

So far? Bugger all.
I'm not in debt, don't own a credit card, have incredibly cheap rent (well, incredibly cheap for central London, probably average for everywhere else), don't go on champagne-and-caviar binges, and my favorite gig venue has just been shut down, so I'm not going to gigs and drinking warm overpriced beer quite so often.

I just hope I manage to keep my job *touches wood*
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Workplace boredom
Phew.... just finished my work and now have chance to reply to the QOTW! How do I pass the time with workplace boredom....

oh... wait... cocksocks!!
(The Funky Monkey played with his banana on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:50, Reply)

I am finally getting round to writing to cunts
By that I do not mean to despised relatives or that I've set up an premium toll ink-based relief service.

I'm simply complaining in writing to those who are or have, until recently either overcharged/mischarged me. Whilst I'm quite a lazy shit, and pretty disorganised, I do keep all bank statements, utility (incl. phone/mobile) bills etc - and on the whole it's more lucrative to look there than down the back of the sofa.

Treat them as suppliers and don't just accept rubbish service. Haggle with them, I got a £15pm BT Vision package with Free Setanta Sports for signing up for an 18 month contract, even though I was only 3 months into an 18 month contract.

If you do get in trouble, then know your rights (my experience of CAB is that whilst nice, they're not always great at getting you the best deal in terms of debt management) and do not get bullied into paying more than you can afford. It's likely that there are people in considerably worse situations than you are - my biggest lesson in this was post university when I owed a lot of money and kept getting threats from Collection Agencies. They'll make it sound like they will ruin you, your friends and family if you don’t meet their demands... they won't but you have to ensure that are making a regular contribution. After berating you it's likely that you'll get a "friendly" phone call from another "agent". Cut deals with them if you can pay off lump sums. Remember that if you're paying something it's better for them than adding court costs and you being told you can pay it off in small amounts... they're paying for the administration of the account. Just don't let them bully you.

Oh and subscribe to this (if you're in the UK): www.moneysavingexpert.com
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Well in the last week and a half...
I booked return flights, visa, insurance and other incidentals to work in Australia for a year for €1332 altogether.
Bought myself a natty new iPod 120 GB for €190 and today bought a 250 GB laptop drive for €60.
:-D
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Bastards
Since the credit crunch came around, I've noticed a whole lot more idiots coming into the game shop I work in.

There seems to be a scale though, at the least annoying end, is people asking about consoles, and then giving it a quick check to see if we can cut 10% off the price.

In the middle, is usually a man, asks about a console, gets a load of extra bits together, and insists that we cut the price by 25% because "It's the credit crunch innit"

And the most severe of the lot,this only started like this after the crunch, absolute wankers, we've had to get the police in to remove people from store for threatening to;

"Take you to a secluded place in my car, smash your head open with a lump hammer and hide the body"

"I'm going to wait outside until you finish and kick the shit out of you"

This is all for either, not returning something we aren't allowed to return, or not cutting the price by some obscene amount.

Please. Be Gentle.
(annhialus hasn't had an accident since, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Since you mentioned Woolies...
When it was announced that Woolworths was going toes-up, overnight my local branch became a dumping ground for all the old crap that no other branch had ever managed to shift. Someone, somewhere in a Woolworths warehouse far far away obviously thought "Sod it, we're going under, let's just ship all these boxes of shit out and see what sells". Consequently, my local branch became a one-stop shop for;

- 'Fame Academy's David Sneddon - My Story' DVDs
- Diet Irn-Bru
- Alongside the DVDs and CDs, a whole rack of actual VHS videos
- Several hundred 'Worth It' toilet seats

Strangest of all though was the sudden arrival of about a thousand 'Worth It' ironing boards. One aisle was filled with the bloody things. It became something of a landmark, pile upon pile of cheap white ironing boards, all being completely ignored by everyone.

That was until the last day, when it was 80% off everything. Apparently there's something about the offer of an ironing board for 50p that triggers an involuntary reaction amongst the over-60s, compelling them to buy. They flew off the shelves in scenes reminiscent of the Cabbage-Patch riots of the early 1980s. Consequently, the High Street that day was awash with pensioners clutching 'Worth It' ironing boards under their arms.

So for all the bad things about Woolworths going under - The job losses, the end of an iconic brand etc - One positive did come out of it. For one day only, walking up the High Street felt like being in a care-home production of Point Break.
(costas, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:43, 6 replies)

"Get made redundant from the job you hated enough to spend all day on b3ta?"
Yes, well, contract not renewed to be more precise, it ended on 24th December.

I haven't started looking yet as I have a morbid fear of interviews. The problem is I don't like making eye-contact and yet if you don't do that in an interview you look shifty. So I make a tremendous effort to meet the interviewers gaze and then think I must be staring at them like a madman.

A bit of a pain looking for work really.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:42, 3 replies)

I'm worried about not being able to get a job
when I finish uni, so I might just take a leaf out of my brother's book - he made £200 selling glowsticks to Year 7s at 25p each, having bought them at 6p each.
(deadly_sinners, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:40, Reply)

I bought Rock Band for £10
from Woolworths on its last day of opening, ok, it was for the PS2 (and I have one of those) and minus the instruments (but I have a guitar from Legends of Rock) and took it home excitedly, only to find neither of my tvs would work, the remote died on one, and the other wouldn't realise there was something plugged into it. So I had to give it to my little brother :(
(deadly_sinners, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:37, Reply)

I used to work on contract at a luxury sports car maker
but virtually all the contractors have been given the heave-ho while they consider which of the permanent bods are issued with a cunningly worded invitation to leave with a wad of cash in their hands.

No job, bad prospects in the auto industry at the moment, then given the heave-ho from my place because the landlady is desperate to sell up and raise some cash. Bugger.

That was just before Christmas.

On Monday I start work at an F1 engine supplier which I was only able to get because I could start immediately, i.e. no notice period to give. I even get a 25% pay rise!

Thank you, credit crunch! *mwah*
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:35, 10 replies)

Well, I'm bitter, so it made me laugh.
Ha!

I’ve recently been told that my soon-to-be-ex-wife took out a car loan from Jim Davidson shortly before Christmas (‘Yes! Car Credit’ I think they might be called).

Anyway, she has apparently spent close to five grand on a Kia (Pride??) with no manufacturers warranty at some crippling interest rate.

So I was told.., she had no qualms about this, as the nice people at the Jim Davidson Car Loan Company assured her that the car came with their own warranty.

It did. Parts only.

Labour, at a rate to suit them.

Turns out, she’s been forced to add the cost of the ever-growing repair bills for the lemon she’s bought onto the repayments on her car loan.

So the lesson here? Simple, if you make my life hell for god knows how many years and you shack up with a new bloke who is more stupid than me, don’t be surprised if when your car is worth about fifty-quid, you’ll still owe a couple of grand on it.

As for the credit crunch and how it’s affecting me? If my situation doesn’t improve in the next six months, I’ll be filling for bankruptcy – I’m skint, working two jobs, paying half-a-mortgage on a house with increasingly reduced equity, renting a shit-hole of a bedsit and crippled by interest rates on a credit card that seem to be base-rate plus 22%

If anyone else is skint and fancies doing a bank job, I’ll happily be your wheels-man. I have a X-reg Ford Galaxy (diesel) and I’m a dap hand at reverse parking, additionally, I’m more than capable of evading low-speed pursuits, but we will all have to chip in for fuel, it’s not cheap you know.

Length?

It’ll seat 5 comfortably.

Mullered. Bitter about life, the universe and everything and praying salvation can be found in Bristol.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:34, 7 replies)

An Apology
It took me a long time to get my foot on the housing ladder, and, as I watched prices rise higher and higher, I joked with myself that they'd fall catastrophically as soon as I handed over the cash.

They did.

I can't help but to wonder if, had I stayed a non-owner, a lot of the present trouble might have been averted.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Bring it on!
I look after retards for the government - won't lose job, they can't switch off retards.

Petrol is now below $1 a litre

My mortgage interest rate is 5.65% and gonna go down more

My investment property mortgage interest rate is going down too BUT the rent is going up

Food etc is getting cheaper

Nobody is buying anything so there are huge discounts to be had - last week bought a Sony KDL52Z4500 telly for $3850 - $500 off

I fuckin love the financial crisis!
(wallynothere rnot without protection, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Nothing too bad (yet)
I have no savings (choosing to pay the mortgage off) so no worries on the IceKaupSaveThingFuckingBurg Bank or whatever.

Slightly worried on the job front, if I lose this one it will be hard to find another what with all the IT companies going to the wall.

But really, no big. I was not one of those morons who bought a house at 4,000 times their salary just to look posh nor do I use credits cards if I can avoid it.

Not as smug as him down their with his swanky house....but smug enough. (Queue impending fall from grace...)
(SpangleDangle >->)))'>, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Force-fed After Eights
My arl' feller obviously camped outside Woolies on Xmas Eve. When I turned up to see me Mum & Dad on Boxing Day, he virtually assualted me trying to get me to "eat these After Eights, Woolies were givin' em away!".

13 boxes of the fuckers! I now know how many After Eights is actually too much...
(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:25, 4 replies)

a friend of mine
who was a store manager for woolworth's managed to put aside and later buy an xbox360 from his store for £30. bargaintastic.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:23, Reply)