A short and cringe-worthy tale.
My best friend, John, went to art school in London.
While he was there he met lots of interesting people, and got drunk rather a lot.
One of his friends was a lad called Joshua, who invited him to a party.

So, along goes John to this party, and realises he doesn't know anyone.
He was expecting a drunken, drug-fuelled night of mayhem, not Joshua's cousin's Bar Mitzvah.
It was at this point that John decided that the pre-emptive speed that he'd taken was a mistake.

He sat in the corner, not knowing anyone, keeping quiet.

This was the point at which a lovely young lady came over and started talking to him.
After about half an hour of chatting and giggling, John was convinced that he was "well in there".
She turned to him and said "You're really funny, tell me a joke."

Panic set in.
His brain couldn't think of any.

He thought for a moment and said:
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?"

She smiled and replied "I'm not sure, tell me..."

Realisation hit him hard.
He realised where he was, and who he was talking to.
Blushing red as a chimp's arse, he muttered "I've got to go.", and ran off to get the bus home.

For the record, the punchline to that joke is "Pizzas don't scream when you put 'em in a gas oven"...
( Cawl, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 12:38, 4 replies)

Ohh!
Serious cringe-age there.

I've almost done similar, but fortunately had enough presence of mind not to, with a Chinese bloke. Can't remember the incident, just the cringe factor.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 12:57, closed)

I had a similar experience.
Me and a bunch of mates, all coked up, hear that someone is having a party.
We go round at 12ish
We got let in to find the blokes parents, his girlfriends parents, and their fucking parents, all sitting round drinking mulled wine.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 13:04, closed)

*Pfft*
Yep.

Aged 20 I turned up to a party thrown by a mate's g/f.

At roughly ten PM I'm telling a drug fuelled anecdote about how an ex-classmate of a friend ended up in bed with their teacher during a school trip.

No one laughs.

Undeterred, I continue attempting to explain why my anecdote is funny.

No one laughs.

Sat in the corner, looking at me like I'd just pissed through her letterbox is my mate's g/f's cousin. She'd ended a torrid relationship with her Svengali-like tutor whom she'd been shagging behind her boyfriend's back.

Her boyfriend was also present.

Whoops.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 3 Dec 2008, 13:05, closed)

Oh dear, oh dear.
Yeah, that's more than slightly embarrassing.


Everyone knows pizzas should be cooked in a wood-fired stone oven for best results...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 13:55, closed)