I used to run a corner shop…

And I think the most surreal experience of my life occurred whilst I was there.

It was an otherwise ordinary day, I had dealt with the usual patrons requiring their standard products...when two men (who must’ve been identical twins or clones or something) walked into the shop.

They were both short(ish), fat, and bald (well, they had a couple of hairs on the top in a ‘combover’ kind of way). They sported 5 o’ clock shadows on their yellowish skin and wore blue trousers with white short sleeved shirts.

I know what you’re thinking and you’re right. Both of them looked uncannily like Homer Simpson. My jaw dropped as I was waited for them to shout ‘Doh!’

Unfortunately, that never happened, because as they approached me I could see they looked miserable. Desperately unhappy in fact. I wondered what could possibly depress the men in such a fashion as they got closer to the counter.

As one of them started to speak I immediately noticed a broad German Accent. I speak a little German, so asked them if there was anything I could do to help, and we struck up a conversation.

I discovered that they were two brothers from a city in the district of Osnabrück, Lower Saxony, but they were constantly travelling the world in search of a strange Gypsy Princess who had put a hex on them when they were children.

Deciding that this must be either a bizarre practical joke or a couple of portly mentalists, I gently responded that I had not seen such a ‘Gypsy Princess’, and told them to promptly get the fuck out of my shop.

I do remember thinking to myself, as I threw the spackbaskets out into the street, that I will never forget the day I met the ‘Cursed Homers from Melle’

*loses will to live*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:24, 9 replies)

*spangs*
Bad Pooflake!

Good writing though :3
(LordMatthius http://www.justgiving.com/marathon-matt2009, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:28, closed)

Dear god
Another corker PF...
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:35, closed)

oh ffs flakepoo
I thought better of you.....
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:41, closed)

*head shake*
*feels embarrassed for you*

but clicks anyway!
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 9:57, closed)

Please can someone advise me.
What's the next step up from a spang? Because whatever it is, he deserves it.
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:02, closed)

^^
'Ignore' is the opposite of 'click' isn't it?
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 10:04, closed)

BGB
I imagine from spang, it may go directly to a swift kick in the knackers - or is that too far a jump?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:51, closed)

I imagine

it's a kind of 'thud' as a large anvil is dropped from on high.

Although *thuds* doesn't seem as rewarding as *spangs*.
( Moey, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:27, closed)

*SPANGGGGGGGGGGGG!!*

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 19:45, closed)